Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intellectually Challenged

Update (May 29, 11:20 AM PT):

Bret posted a follow-up blog with mostly attacks on personal appearances of fans:

The Morrissey Solo Loony Forum: Chinese Whispers & Kleenex
Posted on Sunday May 29 18:31:00 BST 2011

* For those who actually care about factual details I am 41, not "50-something".

---

David Bret posted the link to his blog post on the Morrissey-solo Facebook page:

The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intellectually Challenged, But It Helps - David Bret's blog
Posted on Saturday May 28 18:38:00 BST 2011

Now let me get one thing straight. Not ALL Morrissey fans are fruit-loops. In my time I have met some very nice ones. Americans, Chinese, French, Australian, doctors, dentists, porn stars. I have even slept with a couple--and they certainly were not vegetarian!

However, the Morrissey Solo Forum has a breed of its own. Like all forums, it is made up of educationally challenged, faceless morons who, unable to cope with the real world and incapable of thinking for themselves, come up with nifty little names such as Not Me Not I, Viva Hate, Dave Jay, and Skylarker--the latter one feckless little bird who should try sky-diving, preferably without a parachute.

Bret made a reference--years ago--to a line from a song, "There are some bad people on the rise," the latter word of which had to be changed to "right" to deter some sort of controversy. For some reason, Skylarker has got his Tampax in a knot and taken great exception to this. First of all, I am deeply shocked that he has read my book (as did 120,000 others, making it sell better than the tome by the Moz-hated Johnny Rogan)--and what shocks me is that Skylarker CAN read.

To this sexless, retarded creature, I am the anti-Christ, the "f***tard", whatever that is supposed to mean. Like I say, the majority of Moz fans are A1 folk. Couldn't wish for a better bunch of people--most of them bright, intellectual, and unreliant of every single word which emits from their great man's mouth.

The forum fans don't eat meat, don't enjoy life much, dream of their idol constantly and masturbate a lot, even though they don't really like sex, and they try to emulate his witticisms.

Where they fail, on every count, is in their quest for normality. So, Mr Skylarker, when you are lambasting someone better than you as a "f***tard". just remember--it takes one to know one. And the next time you wrap your fingers around your digit and jerk away to "You're The One For Me, Fatty", just remember tomorrow will be just another day when you will be just another nobody.

And think about Morrissey, studying you from afar and sniggering--like myself--all the way to the bank.

---

Related forum post:

• Question about Interesting Drug video

 

[Dave]

Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

The saddest thing I ever saw
was a tribute band
fronted by Paul the bore

Trying to sing
the crowd helps him out
in his own mind
he is the latest shout

He copied the moves
and he bought the same shirts
but when we hear him sing
it just fooking hurts


Urban in Sweden (Poet laureate and Nobel prize winner)

this is how illiterate americans communicate, with little moving pictures

 

[Deleted member 1074]

Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

The saddest thing I ever saw
was a tribute band
fronted by Paul the bore

Trying to sing
the crowd helps him out
in his own mind
he is the latest shout

He copied the moves
and he bought the same shirts
but when we hear him sing
it just fooking hurts


Urban in Sweden (Poet laureate and Nobel prize winner)

Another illiterate American...

 

[Dave]

URBAN is this site's boss level.

 

[Mozluv]

Okay... so where are all the Legends from "The Chatroom".... =) Stand & Be accounted for, my dear loves... how I have missed you so. I think we had the baddest asses in there... everything else was minor compared to what was going down in there. Everyone use to tune in for the afternoon & late night chats.

Mmmhmm what a reunion THAT would be PERFECT! Has anyone found out who Ploppy Pants is yet.. I am STILL wondering on that one! =)

Nothing has changed...

Mozluv

 

[Anonymous]

Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

Another illiterate American...

Yeah it is funny that Hollywood was never made great by americans. It has always been foreign actors who have made things happen there but then again there are no such thing as "americans" as the people in USA come from the rest of the world and they talk english and have named their cities and towns after english cities and towns apart from the few that were given spanish names.
As for the swedish actor in the shot he is the coolest northern swede you could ever meet but he looks like shit.

 

[Anonymous]

Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

Another illiterate American...

Yeah it is funny that Hollywood was never made great by americans. It has always been foreign actors who have made things happen there but then again there are no such thing as "americans" as the people in USA come from the rest of the world and they talk english and have named their cities and towns after english cities and towns apart from the few that were given spanish names.
As for the swedish actor in the shot he is the coolest northern swede you could ever meet but he looks like shit.

Urban in Sweden (teaching "american" history on Solo since 1998)

 

[Anonymous]

The Sun newspaper are going to publish a story about Bret's attack on the McCann's on his blog. When I talked to people it became clear he has a lot of enemies around and some of them predict his fall will be heavy and nasty.

 

[Anonymous]

Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

The Sun newspaper are going to publish a story about Bret's attack on the McCann's on his blog. When I talked to people it became clear he has a lot of enemies around and some of them predict his fall will be heavy and nasty.

You don't need an apostrophe in "McCanns".

I don't know what David Bret said about the McCanns, but they probably deserved it.

His "fall"? What does that mean?

 

[Anonymous]

http://www.mccanns.ie/

Don't need it but it is the correct way to spell it. And it is Christmas not xmas and so on.....

 

[Anonymous]

Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

http://www.mccanns.ie/

Don't need it but it is the correct way to spell it. And it is Christmas not xmas and so on.....

No, it is incorrect to use an apostrophe as you did. You are wrong and you don't seem to know when it is appropriate to use an apostrophe.

 

[Anonymous]

Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

http://www.mccanns.ie/

Don't need it but it is the correct way to spell it. And it is Christmas not xmas and so on.....

In the example you used from that website, a possessive apostrophe was being used to show that the Irish Oatmeal, or whatever it was, belonged to the McCanns: the site refers to "McCann's Irish Oatmeal" in that the Irish Oatmeal in question is the property of the McCanns. They totally own that oatmeal.

 

[Anonymous]

Statement from Urban:

"I have been informed that my name has been used on the Morrissey Solo website. It was years ago since I last visited the website where I used to chat in the chatroom. Since a couple of years back I have not been visiting Solo at all. I am however amused by the fact that my name lives on and that others use it to pretend to be me. However the views and comments made in my name are not something I can agree with at all.
I was informed by what has been going on through an email from a Solo member and I thank him for letting me know".

--Urban

 

[Anonymous]

Whoever it was that argued with the Urban impersonator he or she must feel very stupid now. I also wonder how that person would talk and spell swedish since the certain someone had an argument over spelling in english.

 

[Anonymous]

david bret is absolutely correct about this site and all within.

 

[Anonymous]

off-topic

Spoiler

Since I was banned from Solo without reason or rather for being accused of having been under the name "Andy Gray" (which was not me) I just wanna say that I will not be on Solo anymore despite my recent comeback as I've been off this place since 2006. It seems that the people that used to chat in the old chatroom started another chat at another website and I am glad to say that they are british fans and some from the rest of Europe like myself.
Sadly Solo is seen as an imperialistic american fan site and the fact is that most of us who are not from USA feel we have less or nothing in common with american Moz fans. We cannot talk about football cause you american have your version and we have ours. There's a too big cultural divide to over bridge and I very much share the sentiments among those ex-solo chatters that really went solo and got their own chat.
David Tseng has lost a lot of credibility not at least because he has hired at least one troll to be moderator on here which is quite funny.
He is also quite weak for little damsels in distress and if they have israeli blood then they can report things to him and he does nothing to check what has happened and uses the little control such a short and insignificant man has.
Despite not sharing the views of the imposter who made some believe it was me I can confirm that my political views are on the far right and that I am indeed an anti-semite and an anti-muslim as well just to make sure everyone gets that. Despite the fact that the most loud Moz fans have some believe all Moz fans believe in love, peace and harmony the reality is far removed from that silly notion. Morrissey himself has on many occasions clearly shown that he is against many things that would in some quarters label him a "racist". I don't think that american fans can understand where the man came from and who followed him first. Among members of The English Defence League you will find Moz fans and among members of other so called extreme groups.
Let the american fans have their meaningless and vile view on Moz and make him into what they believe he is and let us European fans have our view because we were the first.
Goodbye Solo and David Tseng and remember that whatever happens facts and the truth cannot be bought or sold or fabricated unless you live in a country where that is part of the every day routine and I feel sorry for you americans living under such awful conditions and having to give up lives on a daily basis for a cause that benefits no-one but the men in power that would offload little people like you if they had to and they do so on a daily basis.

Urban (Solo chatter 1998-2006)

 

[Anonymous]

troll / false information

Spoiler

Earlier today I met up with David Bret who confirmed that he does not have a blog or website and that he has never visited this place. It is clear to me that a Solo troll is behind it all. I loved it when Bret said: "Even if I knew some Morrissey fans named Winnie Poo or whatever it is highly unlikely I would give them the time of day". Bret finished our conversation by saying that it was amusing that someone ran a site in his name and that he would let it go on and lead a life of its own.

 

[Anonymous]

Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

David Tseng has lost a lot of credibility not at least because he has hired at least one troll to be moderator on here which is quite funny.
He is also quite weak for little damsels in distress and if they have israeli blood then they can report things to him and he does nothing to check what has happened and uses the little control such a short and insignificant man has.
Despite not sharing the views of the imposter who made some believe it was me I can confirm that my political views are on the far right and that I am indeed an anti-semite and an anti-muslim as well just to make sure everyone gets that.

If you were anti-Christian and had written anti-Christian things, spread lies about what they had supposedly said or written, claimed that Christians are mentally ill and Cretins, you'd have been much appreciated by the people who moderate this website and their best buddies. They'd even have had a good laugh about what wrote and you'd have made their day.

 

[Anonymous]

I've just read the comment made by "Anonymous" that they ran into David Bret, who claims that he told them that he doesn't have a website or a blog?????????? I'm of the impression that David Bret is upto his old tricks yet again? Here is a "world famous biographer" trying at any level to get the attention that the British, actually make that the World media DOESN'T give him.

It is a well known fact that when not attending to the images of his beloved Joey Stefano, Bret is stuck like glue to his laptop, searching and searching for innocents to claim as his own......maybe this explains the reason why he resembles Freddy Kruger? The man like his body of work..... is a joke. Who in god's name would take the words of a 'mad man' as gospel, let alone believe him. Emotionally the man is retarded, aswell as lacking in common sense and decency.

And despite claims of selling over two million books, can anyone explain why he looks as though he still gets his clothes from the Littlewood's catalogue. My advice is to ignore the buffoon and allow him to stew in his own evil.

 

[Anonymous]

The last Anonymous--Glasto is not the place to be having jiggy behind the toilets with elderly rockabillies. That mud gets everywhere, and those Littlewoods clothes just don't wash like they used to. Ask Urban!

 

[Anonymous]

Bret took that web page down, but thanks to google cache:

Very odd that, following my last comments here--and bear in mind, Bret ONLY attacks when first attacked--so many Morrissey Forum Loonies say how much they hate me and how I am not worth wasting time talking about--then promptly send me 100 emails in just two hours, and leave almost as many comments on their Forum. What a funny little bunch they are--and so unimaginative that they cannot use their own names, but must have some Morrissey-related monicker: Stephen, Celibate, etc. Then there are SO many people called Anonymous--guess at some stage there must have been some kind of mass breeding ritual among their parents when Daddy decided not to wipe it down his shirt after all! Then there is Skylarker, Ugly Mugs, Moby, the list is endless. They call me ugly, yet so many of them look like the backs of buses. Meaningless little people. Morrissey is on what little brains they have 24 hours a day. You see them standing outside the theatres looking like death warmed up.

Had a very pleasant evening, a few years back now, with The Morrissey Gang--the band, technicians, etc, along with their girlfriends and wives. Two very famous popstars and a gay porn star. Morrissey had just shrugged off the most unwelcome advances of three very creepy fans: David Tseng, Winnie Wong and Russ Seekatz. Mr Tseng, a 50-something Chinese American, liked to think he know more about Morrissey than the singer about himself. But all in all, likeable enough. Winnie Wong we just took the piss out of because she was taller sitting down than she was standing up--and particularly when she asked Morrissey if he wanted her phone number and he cracked that she might "wing the wong number". Russ Seekatz, looking like he'd just got out of a coffin. Some of the band were joking about how much they would have to be paid to "give Winnie one", and ultimately agreed that a "hand shandy" would be more in order. The porn star quipped about Russ Seekatz, "A good shag would kill him!" One of the lighting men said that Morrissey had been in a grumpy mood all evening, but "pissed himself laughing" when someone had suggested smuggling a naked Winnie into his dressing room. Then Morrissey came in and joined in with the conversation and--well, let's just say he isn't as keen on some of these fans as they are on him.