Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intellectually Challenged

Update (May 29, 11:20 AM PT):

Bret posted a follow-up blog with mostly attacks on personal appearances of fans:

The Morrissey Solo Loony Forum: Chinese Whispers & Kleenex
Posted on Sunday May 29 18:31:00 BST 2011

* For those who actually care about factual details I am 41, not "50-something".


David Bret posted the link to his blog post on the Morrissey-solo Facebook page:

The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intellectually Challenged, But It Helps - David Bret's blog
Posted on Saturday May 28 18:38:00 BST 2011

Now let me get one thing straight. Not ALL Morrissey fans are fruit-loops. In my time I have met some very nice ones. Americans, Chinese, French, Australian, doctors, dentists, porn stars. I have even slept with a couple--and they certainly were not vegetarian!

However, the Morrissey Solo Forum has a breed of its own. Like all forums, it is made up of educationally challenged, faceless morons who, unable to cope with the real world and incapable of thinking for themselves, come up with nifty little names such as Not Me Not I, Viva Hate, Dave Jay, and Skylarker--the latter one feckless little bird who should try sky-diving, preferably without a parachute.

Bret made a reference--years ago--to a line from a song, "There are some bad people on the rise," the latter word of which had to be changed to "right" to deter some sort of controversy. For some reason, Skylarker has got his Tampax in a knot and taken great exception to this. First of all, I am deeply shocked that he has read my book (as did 120,000 others, making it sell better than the tome by the Moz-hated Johnny Rogan)--and what shocks me is that Skylarker CAN read.

To this sexless, retarded creature, I am the anti-Christ, the "f***tard", whatever that is supposed to mean. Like I say, the majority of Moz fans are A1 folk. Couldn't wish for a better bunch of people--most of them bright, intellectual, and unreliant of every single word which emits from their great man's mouth.

The forum fans don't eat meat, don't enjoy life much, dream of their idol constantly and masturbate a lot, even though they don't really like sex, and they try to emulate his witticisms.

Where they fail, on every count, is in their quest for normality. So, Mr Skylarker, when you are lambasting someone better than you as a "f***tard". just remember--it takes one to know one. And the next time you wrap your fingers around your digit and jerk away to "You're The One For Me, Fatty", just remember tomorrow will be just another day when you will be just another nobody.

And think about Morrissey, studying you from afar and sniggering--like myself--all the way to the bank.


Related forum post:
 
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The Simpsons' own Mr. Burns has a blog, he is senile, and he hates us.
 
I'm kinda loving that any resident alchemists here have the freedom to literally work from the postings of a shit stirrer. :rofl: What a f***ing douchebag.
 
Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

Mushroom, Leek & Gruyere Cheese Quiche

25g butter
4 leeks , sliced and washed
250g pack chestnut mushrooms , sliced
2 eggs
284ml double cream
140g Gruyère , coarsely grated

280g plain flour
140g cold butter , cut into pieces
--------------------------

To make the pastry, tip the flour and butter into a bowl, then rub together with your fingertips until completely mixed and crumbly. Add 8 tbsp cold water, then bring everything together with your hands until just combined. Roll into a ball and use straight away or chill for up to 2 days. The pastry can also be frozen for up to a month.
Roll out the pastry on a lightly floured surface to a round about 5cm larger than a 25cm tin. Use your rolling pin to lift it up, then drape over the tart case so there is an overhang of pastry on the sides. Using a small ball of pastry scraps, push the pastry into the corners of the tin (see picture, above left). Chill in the fridge or freezer for 20 mins. Heat oven to 200C/fan 180C/gas 6.
While the pastry is chilling, heat the butter in a pan and cook the leeks for 10 mins, stirring occasionally, until they soften. Then turn up the heat and add the mushrooms. Cook for 5 mins more, then turn off the heat.
Lightly prick the base of the tart with a fork, line the tart case with a large circle of greaseproof paper or foil, then fill with baking beans. Blind-bake the tart for 20 mins, remove the paper and beans, then continue to cook for 5-10 mins until biscuit brown
While the tart case cooks, beat the eggs in a bowl, then gradually add the cream. Stir in the leeks, mushrooms and half the cheese. Season, then tip the filling into the tart case. Sprinkle with the rest of the cheese, then bake for 20-25 mins until set and golden brown. Leave to cool in the case, trim the edges of the pastry, then remove and serve in slices.
-----------------------------

lmao.
 
I'z wantz 2 B a writeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrr so I'zz can argue wif people 2
 
Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

David Tseng has never done anything with his life UNLESS it has been Morrissey inspired. What makes this all the more amazing is that Morrissey dislikes this man intensely and has even taken advice about banning him from his shows, following a rather unpleasant incident at the end of 1997. It must be very hard--or very stupid--to worship a man for fourteen years, knowing that he cannot stand the mortal site of you!

God Jesus the pretentiousness of this guy knows no bounds. Who the shit still says "mortal" sight? Is that like future sight?

Are there Pokemon involved in this?

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Take a look in the mirror, Mr Bret, if you dare

"One Morrissey fan made comments about "errors" in my book. Really, I could not care less. Were the criticism to come from a serious journalist or publication, or other normal person, I would be concerned."

Dear Mr Bret - what about the criticism of your book in Gavin Hopps' Pageant - in which you are exposed as a laughing stock? All your posts confirm that you are unable to write.
 
Re: Take a look in the mirror, Mr Bret, if you dare

"One Morrissey fan made comments about "errors" in my book. Really, I could not care less. Were the criticism to come from a serious journalist or publication, or other normal person, I would be concerned."

Dear Mr Bret - what about the criticism of your book in Gavin Hopps' Pageant - in which you are exposed as a laughing stock? All your posts confirm that you are unable to write.

Even Stuart Maconie chuckles about Bret in the Jewel In The Crown DVD in which Bret also appears. And if you look up The Lazy Sunbathers in the Mozipedia it also dismisses Bret's unsubstantiated claims about the song.

Mr Bret - er, time to be concerned.
 
Well, as you can see from Amazon, Bret's latest Liz Taylor book is very highly thought of by the reading public...

1.0 out of 5 stars One of the worst biographies of Elizabeth!, 20 April 2011
By L. O. Maxwell (Portrush, Northern Ireland) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME) This review is from: Elizabeth Taylor: The Lady, The Lover, The Legend, 1932-2011 (Hardcover)
I bought this book a few days ago and was hoping for an updated and interesting biography of Elizabeth but how disappointed I was!

The author only vaguely talks about Elizabeth, instead rambles on about irrevelant people and how many gay lovers her friends had. The author had no sympathy towards her and only liked to include how demanding she was, he also briefly talked about each marriage, which I would have thought was a very big part of Elizabeth Taylor's life. He barely wrote a few lines about her recent death! It's as if the author wanted to make quick money out of her, without doing any thorough research or actually admiring what a wonderful woman she was.

I would not recommend this book to anyone, it's an absoulte disgrace to call this a biography of Elizabeth Taylor! I will be throwing my copy in the bin.

11 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars outraged, 20 April 2011
By gilly - See all my reviewsThis review is from: Elizabeth Taylor: The Lady, The Lover, The Legend, 1932-2011 (Hardcover)
I have never reviewed a book before online but as an admirer of both Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, I was very incensed reading this trashy book. Both of these actors had weaknesses but this writer seems to take pleasure in cheap gimmicky writing. I am sure that if Elizabeth Taylor read his remarks about Richard Burton, she would turn in her grave. In the recent biography of the Burtons 'Furious Love' which Elizabeth gave access to some of Richard's letters to her, she said that she was not bothered about what was written about her but she wanted the memory of Richard Burton honoured. I can see why this writer waited for Elizabeth to die before publishing this book. I have read most of the biographies on them and have noticed that American writers seem uncomplimentary about Richard Burton. The best book to read about their relationship is Melvyn Braggs book. This shows how hard they both tried to make their marriage work and just how much they loved each other. I agree with the previous reviewer, my copy will go straight in the bin.
 
Wow, David Bret. Hello. I had never heard of you before this and I didn't know you had written a book. You come across like a total douche.
 
Wow what a low life. Before he even begins to slag people off, he needs to get an education, some manners and some f***ing humanity. He’s a cockroach, through and through. He's like a school bully. Grow up Mr. Bret.
 
Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

What would be really good is if Mr Bret came to this site, openly, and put his points to those he has detracted. In an open forum, where he can have his say, and others can too. Because Mr Bret posts his 'thoughts' on a site he controls, thus eliminating any response to his posts. Come on Mr Bret - you have forceful opinions, surely you don't mind them being discussed openly, do you? Or will you post another 'anti-this-site-and-its-denizens' piece on your own site without fear of comeback? Because that would be a little cowardly, wouldn't it? Go ahead and post here. That would be nice.
 
I think its sad that he writes these things. All of the Morrissey fans I have met at concerts and the like have been decent genuine people. They all seemed to come from a place of love and intelligence. Its a shame he got so bitter and rude over physical apperance and a few short sentaces. David Brent I send you love and hope you can overcome the sad, pathetic darkness that is in you.
 
Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

What would be really good is if Mr Bret came to this site, openly, and put his points to those he has detracted. In an open forum, where he can have his say, and others can too. Because Mr Bret posts his 'thoughts' on a site he controls, thus eliminating any response to his posts. Come on Mr Bret - you have forceful opinions, surely you don't mind them being discussed openly, do you? Or will you post another 'anti-this-site-and-its-denizens' piece on your own site without fear of comeback? Because that would be a little cowardly, wouldn't it? Go ahead and post here. That would be nice.

Better watch it, Peter. He could come up with another zinger like "Uncle Sweaty." :crazy:
 
Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

What would be really good is if Mr Bret came to this site, openly, and put his points to those he has detracted. In an open forum, where he can have his say, and others can too. Because Mr Bret posts his 'thoughts' on a site he controls, thus eliminating any response to his posts. Come on Mr Bret - you have forceful opinions, surely you don't mind them being discussed openly, do you? Or will you post another 'anti-this-site-and-its-denizens' piece on your own site without fear of comeback? Because that would be a little cowardly, wouldn't it?

...all of which puts me in mind of a certain singer.
 

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