As the lead singer for The Smiths, Morrissey was an unparalleled lyricist who helped create several timeless classics like "Ask" and "How Soon Is Now?" More recently, he's arguably become more famous for his wince-inducing soundbites than his solo output. Here are some messed-up details about Morrissey. Pro tip, amateur writers! The next time you find yourself plagued by self-doubt, take solace in the fact that your work can't be any worse than Morrissey's debut novel. List of the Lost was published in 2015, hot on the heels of Morrissey's autobiography. The book was was widely panned and endlessly ridiculed for reasons that will soon become all too apparent. In its breathtakingly scathing review, The Quietus wrote that, "What you’re actually looking at is some of the most heinously overblown prose printed by a major publishing house in living memory." Aside from its general awfulness, List of the Lost caught the world's attention thanks to a particularly cringe-inducing scene, one that tried to convey a theoretically steamy lovemaking session. Don't believe us? You should probably savor the passage for yourself. How's this for purple prose? "Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of...violent rotation...and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza's body except for the otherwise central zone." Oooh… is it getting hot in here? No. No, it's not.
How not to write | 0:16
Bigmouth strikes again | 1:25
Morrissey and the Norway attacks | 2:35
Attacking Weinstein's accusers | 3:40
"Margaret on the Guillotine" | 4:40
A notorious interview | 6:04
Civil rights imagery on merch | 7:39
Supporting For Britain | 8:27
The Queen is Dead | 9:41
The usual topics are raised in a hit piece that doesn't really bring anything new to the table.