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The Cat's Mother

The Cat's Mother

Unmentionable
http://prillalar.com/drabbles/

Fill in the required fields and you're away! My pairing of the night is.... Julia Riley and Batman. Here's what Drabble-Matic said:

A Lingerie In Time

On an unlikely and skinny morning, Julia sat on the loo. It was Valentine's Day and she was all alone. Her funnybone ached in sorrow for the secret love that she could never share. How could she expect Batman to love someone with a throbbing throat?

Urgently, she began to recite a poem she had composed. "Ah, my love is like a muscular pink telescope, all on a summer's day. I wish my Batman would shag me, in his own lusty way..."

"Do you?" Batman sat down beside Julia and put his hand on Julia's heart. "I think that could be arranged."

Julia gasped erotically. "But what about my throbbing throat?"

"I like it," Batman said naughtily. "I think it's passionate."

They came together and their kiss was like only a superhero knows how.

"I love you," Julia said ticklishly.

"I love you too," Batman replied and shagged her.


*****

Ah, the romance......
 
The Cat's Mother said:
I had to have a couple of attempts before I got something repeatable. :D
Click to expand...

To sum mine up: it involved two people having sex while reading pages of a diary at the same time, then they find out they are brother and sister, and the guy kills the girl!

*shivers*
 
:eek: :eek: :eek:

The Sore Terror Of The Snow

It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, !Viva Hate! and Kewpie went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and !Viva Hate! hit Kewpie in her buttock with a big sweaty iceball. It hurt a lot, but !Viva Hate! kissed it lustily and then it was all better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really shivering snow man!" !Viva Hate! said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Kewpie said. "That would be more fluttering and politically correct."

"I know," !Viva Hate! said. "We can make a snow baboon. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up rudely and made a filthy snow baboon. !Viva Hate! put on a dumpling for the heart. The baboon was almost as big as Kewpie.

"It looks itchy," !Viva Hate! said fondly. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," Kewpie said and held up a smelly toenail. "I found this on the bed." She put the toenail onto the baboon's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the baboon, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl "When you sleep, I will creep into your thoughts like a bad debt that you can't pay, take the easy way and give in...."

Kewpie screamed roughly and ran but the snow baboon chased her until she tripped over a tree root. Then the snow baboon kissed her sternly.

"Nobody does that to my little Sleazy Turkey Baster," !Viva Hate! screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow baboon through the thigh. It fell down and !Viva Hate! kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

"You saved me!" Kewpie said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The toenail lay in the yard until a moaning child picked it up and took it home.
 
Cassius and Kevin Spacey
by William Shakespeare

Enter Cassius

Kevin Spacey appears above at a window

Cassius:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the book, and Kevin Spacey is the penguin.
Arise, hot penguin, and play Nitendo the dirty pantyhose.
See, how he leans his eyelid upon his hair!
O, that I were a glove upon that hair,
That I might touch that eyelid!

Kevin Spacey:
O Cassius, Cassius! wherefore art thou Cassius?
What's in a name? That which we call an ear canal
By any other name would smell as wet
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a horny girl at a Prince concert."
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove slutty.

Cassius:
Swain, by yonder dirty pantyhose I swear
That tips in Target. the colorful perfume--

Kevin Spacey:
O, swear not by the pantyhose, the sad pantyhose,
That happily changes in its odd orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise odd.
Sweet, outrageous night! A thousand times outrageous night!
Parting is such short sorrow,
That I shall say outrageous night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Cassius:
Sleep dwell upon thine eyelid, peace in thy hair!
Would I were sleep and peace, so vibrantly to rest!
giddily will I to my hot ear canal's cell,
Its help to play Nitendo, and my wet ear canal to tell.
 
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The Adventure Of The Skunk

Woody Allen and Miley Cyrus were out for a Firm Valentine's walk Under The Milky Way. As they went, Miley Cyrus rested her hand on Woody Allen's Thigh. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so Erotic, Woody Allen was filled with Silky dread.

"Do you suppose it's Indecent here?" he asked Absent-Mindly.

"You Prepubescent silly," Miley Cyrus said, tickling Woody Allen with her Guitar. "It's completely Hot."

Just then, a passionate Skunk leapt out from behind a Over-Protective Father and Talked Miley Cyrus in the Toe. "Aaargh!" Miley Cyrus screamed.

Things looked Horny. But Woody Allen, although he was Smooth, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a Academy Award and, Behind The Bushes Outside Her Dad's House While The Stars Shined High Above Them, beat the Skunk Passionately until it ran off. "That will teach you to Talk innocent people."

Then he clasped Miley Cyrus close. Miley Cyrus was bleeding Quickly. "My darling," Woody Allen said, and pressed his lips to Miley Cyrus's Nose.

"I love you," Miley Cyrus said Hardly, and expired in Woody Allen's arms.

Woody Allen never loved again.
 
A Excited Occurrence

Nugz paced up and down, jiggling her Shoulder. Her very good friend, Mary Sue Six-Pack Of Beer, had arranged to meet her here Behind The Curtains. "I have something Over-Bearing to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Six-Pack Of Beer was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Nugz expected to see her bounce up, her Sweaty hair streaming behind her and her Intoxicated eyes aglow.

Nugz heard footsteps, but they seemed rather Compulsive for a delicate and Sober girl like Mary Sue Six-Pack Of Beer, whose tread was Worn-Out. She turned around and found Bogdana staring at her.

"What are you doing here?" Bogdana said Passionately. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

Nugz had said that, but now she was beginning to wish she hadn't acted so Proudly. "Mary Sue Six-Pack Of Beer asked to meet me here." As she gazed at Bogdana, her Tongue began to throb Firmly.

"Oh," Bogdana said, Bravely. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," Nugz said and caught Bogdana by her Hand. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Bogdana said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, After The Morrissey Concert where the two of them met for the very first time.

From behind a Taxi-Cab, Mary Sue Six-Pack Of Beer watched with a Nauseous light in her Dominant eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Nugz/Bogdana". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the Abominable Snow Dog from extinction.
 
??????????


cat's mother paced up and down, jiggling her knee. Her very good friend, Mary Sue Plate, had arranged to meet her here in a tree. "I have something captured to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Plate was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, cat's mother expected to see her bounce up, her large hair streaming behind her and her wise eyes aglow.

cat's mother heard footsteps, but they seemed rather purple for a delicate and Prescriptive girl like Mary Sue Plate, whose tread was muffled. She turned around and found alain whyte staring at her.

"What are you doing here?" alain whyte said quickly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

cat's mother had said that, but now she was beginning to wish she hadn't acted so boldly. "Mary Sue Plate asked to meet me here." As she gazed at alain whyte, her finger began to throb patiently.

"Oh," alain whyte said, finally. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," cat's mother said and caught alain whyte by his shoulder. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," alain whyte said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, you are not green as you are cabbage looking!.

From behind an ear, Mary Sue Plate watched with a good light in her holding eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "cat's mother/alain whyte". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the dog from extinction.
 
At last, Kate found herself forced to one knee, the man's zip pressed to her thick bottom. "I am Locke of Astonishing Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Hideous Dongle. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you in the third dimension."

But Kate had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up her zip with a twist, overpowered Locke and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Kate said, looking down upon him.

Locke's nose shimmered like a rabid Morrissey fan fighting over a shred of his sweaty clothing. "I have underestimated you, Kate. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Kate's desire was enflamed. Her bottom throbbed and all her thoughts were to smile Locke like an aardvark. Kate caressed Locke's engaging nose and he responded. They came together decidedly, and their joining was as blue as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet CD!" Kate groaned and smiled Locke as just as she could.

"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Kate said. "That's where I put the Hideous Dongle for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed simply on the grass, forgetful of all but their unbelievable love. "We will stay together forever," Locke said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Armpit never got the Hideous Dongle and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.
 
*gasp* Dave, you cad! :eek:

1000 Marmite Hamsters

tmyem! paced tiredly back and forth. Thrusting dread filled his heart. Dave should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my benign love, tmyem! thought. Where could you be?

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Dave had been taken hostage by Chewy Manboob, a supervillain who had the city in a state of trifling terror. tmyem! fainted dead away, as if there were no crumpets for tea.

When he came to, there was a bump on his earlobe and the thrusting dread had returned. "Dave, my beige honey bunny," he cried out passionately. "What is Chewy Manboob doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing lustily as he shagged him in the buttock.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, tmyem! remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 Marmite hamsters, then whatever you wish for will come true.

tmyem! ordered in a supply of Marmite and set to work, folding hamsters until his earlobe was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last hamster when Dave walked in the front door.

"Dave!" tmyem! screamed and threw himself into dave's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 Marmite hamsters and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing in the back room. He kissed Dave beseechingly on the buttock.

"Actually," Dave said, pulling away timidly, "I was rescued by the Pleasurable Gag. He's a new superhero in town." Dave sighed. "And he's really throbbing."

The thrusting dread came back. "But you're rotund to be back here with me, right?"

Dave checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Pleasurable Gag for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay muscular, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.

tmyem! choked back a sob and started folding another hamster. Then he went out and got drunk instead.
 
The Cat's Mother said:
*gasp* Dave, you cad! :eek:

1000 Marmite Hamsters

tmyem! paced tiredly back and forth. Thrusting dread filled his heart. Dave should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my benign love, tmyem! thought. Where could you be?

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Dave had been taken hostage by Chewy Manboob, a supervillain who had the city in a state of trifling terror. tmyem! fainted dead away, as if there were no crumpets for tea.

When he came to, there was a bump on his earlobe and the thrusting dread had returned. "Dave, my beige honey bunny," he cried out passionately. "What is Chewy Manboob doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing lustily as he shagged him in the buttock.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, tmyem! remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 Marmite hamsters, then whatever you wish for will come true.

tmyem! ordered in a supply of Marmite and set to work, folding hamsters until his earlobe was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last hamster when Dave walked in the front door.

"Dave!" tmyem! screamed and threw himself into dave's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 Marmite hamsters and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing in the back room. He kissed Dave beseechingly on the buttock.

"Actually," Dave said, pulling away timidly, "I was rescued by the Pleasurable Gag. He's a new superhero in town." Dave sighed. "And he's really throbbing."

The thrusting dread came back. "But you're rotund to be back here with me, right?"

Dave checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Pleasurable Gag for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay muscular, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.

tmyem! choked back a sob and started folding another hamster. Then he went out and got drunk instead.
Click to expand...

I thought this was made up and not real! I told you about this months ago!
 
The Ibis Prince

Margaret Drabble was walking through a moldy meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around her head when she spied a brackish little ibis lying under a tree.

Margaret Drabble skipped over to see the dear thing and was tepid to find that he was hurt! A Yakovlev 11 had pierced his loud little ear and he whimpered feverishly with the pain.

"My antibacterial little friend," Margaret Drabble said. "Let me help you!" She took out her Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the Yakovlev 11, as secretly as she could. The ibis cried out and Margaret Drabble's heart ached, like a week old hummus sandwich left in a hot car the smell of which makes you throw up in your mouth. "You'll be all right," Margaret Drabble whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Morrissey and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Morrissey up in her arms, Margaret Drabble carried him home and made a bed for him beside her own. For seven days and seven nights, Margaret Drabble nursed Morrissey, cleaning his ear and feeding him Jello mold-brand ibis chow.

On the eighth night, Morrissey climbed into bed with Margaret Drabble. He burrowed under the covers and coquettishly sneezed Margaret Drabble's Balzac (geddit?). It made Margaret Drabble giggle and she cuddled close to Morrissey, stroking his left nostril and singing slowly to him.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Margaret Drabble hurried home so she could curl up with Morrissey. It gave her a sparkly feeling whenever Morrissey sneezed her Balzac (geddit?).

Then one night, Morrissey looked up at Margaret Drabble and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a gaseous prince."

Margaret Drabble screamed passionately, she was so surprised. How could an ibis talk? She must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Morrissey said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Margaret Drabble said and kissed Morrissey on his left nostril. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a gaseous prince! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Prince Morrissey," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Margaret Drabble said.

"See?" Morrissey said and showed Margaret Drabble the scar from the Yakovlev 11 on his ear. Then he kissed Margaret Drabble and they tumbled under a spreading chestnut tree and did a lot of very grape scented things, some of them involving an orange fly swatter.

"I love you," Morrissey said when they were done. Margaret Drabble clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Morrissey had stashed away.

And if Morrissey didn't know about Margaret Drabble's visits to the ibis sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.


The Cast:

Stanley as The Ibis

Sean Penn as the Yakovlev 11

Morrissey as Prince's Jacket

AS Byatt as Margaret Drabble

This has been a Clippers Theatre Production in association with caffeine!
 
^ hahah, that was nice. The story which came to me it's The Octopussy Prince, it was hilarious but somehow I couldn't send it to here.
 
Ive just lost several hours of my life which I will never get back - it was fun thoug - this game is too addictive....
 
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