"List of the Lost" reviews in The Telegraph, The Independent; media mentions

An anonymous person posted the link (original post):Morrissey's novel: the verdict by Charlotte Runcie (1 of 5 stars) - The Telegraph
Excerpt:

But what struck me is just how little these atrocious sex scenes stand out. The rest of the novel is just as overwrought, just as nonsensical, just as poorly conceived, awkwardly expressed and lazily imagined.

Some of Morrissey’s sentences defy all understanding: ... “What makes wild bluebells wild? And could they ever be tamed?” ......“Electrons from me need electrons from you in order to become electrons”..“animals do not need money”.

Morrissey recently announced that the final performances of his current solo tour will be his last in the UK. This fuelled speculation that he is about to retire as a singer-songwriter for good, to focus on the written word. We must beg him to reconsider."



An anonymous person writes (original post):

Another largely negative newspaper review - this time from The Independent:

List of the Lost by Morrissey, first read: Debut novel is a leaden festival of self-pity by Adam Sherwin (2 of 5 stars) - The Independent



Uncleskinny posted the link (original post):

Death of 1000 Cuts slices and dices Morrissey's List of the Lost - The List
Tim Clare casts his eye over Morrissey’s debut novel to explain all the poor reviews



An anonymous person posts (original post):

Another savage review from The Telegraph:

I love Morrissey, but his novel List of the Lost is woeful by Michael Deacon - The Telegraph
As a fan, I feel bad criticising it. So I'll quote from it instead

"The worst novel I’ve ever read...

The prose is a relentless thumping migraine of alliteration, assonance and rhyme. “Plungingly plump parents laugh loudly.” I suppose it’s meant to sound like James Joyce, but ultimately it’s more like a 40,000-word tongue-twister. And as for the sex... for years Morrissey claimed to be celibate. Now I’ve read his sex scenes, I believe him. They’re laughable."

I have never seen this many bad reviews for a book. Will this get a single half-decent newspaper review? It's not looking likely, at this stage!



UPDATE 10:00 AM PT:

Links posted in the comments:

Don't give up the day job, Morrissey! Singer's first novel is 'obvious frontrunner' for this year's Bad Sex In Fiction prize, say award organisers - Daily Mail. Link posted by an anonymous person.

Morrissey Has an Exceptionally Weird Term for "Boner" - Fuse. Link posted by Famous when dead.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

 
A

Anonymous

Guest

If you're really Jesse T. and have gone to Croatia just to pick a fight with Uncleskinny, might I seize this unique opportunity to tell you that I think you're much sexier with longer hair, and please do not go back to that horrid Hitlerian haircut?

(Also can you tell your employer his V shirts suck, as he's not actually a mice-eating alien? Thank you.)
 

Cicada

beware the wrath to come
Kill Uncle is a masterpiece. And it is because of the "i dont want to be judged anymore" moment. And it is because of the all time classic Sing Your Life. And it is because of the fantastic Our Frank. And it is because of the sweet melody and lovely rhyme "your taxi is here my dear". And it is because of its unique atmosphere of pure jazz pop that makes you forget the time and the day. And Asian Rut means Peace. And King Leer is brilliant! And the lullaby waltz of Driving Your Girlfriend Home stays into your mind for ever. And the funeral march leading to the end of the album let us cry because we can. And... and... and... And the critics massively attacked and ate this labour of love alive. And most of the fans believed that was really a crap. Even the young Moz confessed a slice of disappointment. Haters relax! Time will prove everything even for this List Of The Lost. The only sure thing is that your names are already registered in it. This is the place "gentlemen"
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Oh, some douche-hole calling himself Simplysmiths is calling people with good taste "idiots." Real mature.

How odd that the excerpts quoted by Charlotte Runcie are quite interesting and don't support her commentary.

She wrote a poem in response to a wildflower. Moz is over her head.

Oh dear.

He really has lost it artistically.

Anyone who thinks that last album is good , is frankly , an idiot and it appears the book is a continuation.

The last album has been the final nail and no one will touch him because it's gone , well , lazy.

Lazy artwork , lazy songwriting etc etc. there is nothing to get excited about anymore and don't get me started on this 'band' of his , who are , responsible. Make no bones about it , they are responsible for the shite they compose and they are the problem why he can't get a deal , apart from the fact that he bad mouths his last record company at the drop of a hat.

Really , f*** HARVEST , and you expect to get a deal from another company? What planet is he living on because it is not a reality.

If he is so confident of selling records , why doesn't he do the DIY ? , why ? He has a manager that could arrange for vinyl , cd,s , marketing etc , if not , I'll do it.

There we are: I WILL ARRANGE FOR THE SALE OF YOUR RECORDS MOZ. I WILL PRODUCE YOUR WEBSTORE, TALK WITH ITV AND SKY ABOUT TV ADVERTS AND I WILL TALK WITH VINYL AND CD MANUFACTURERS. YOU JUST SORT OUT A ENGINEER AND RECORD PRODUCER.

THE ONLY STIPULATION IS THAT YOU GET RID OF THAT FKIN BAND.

As far as I am aware , I don't even think the band get a deal?

any way , I'll wait for the book to hit the clearance bin.

Never thought it would ever come to this.........maybe there are a few more film premieres to go to.
 

PaleBlueDot

New Member
Kill Uncle is a masterpiece. And it is because of the "i dont want to be judged anymore" moment. And it is because of the all time classic Sing Your Life. And it is because of the fantastic Our Frank. And it is because of the sweet melody and lovely rhyme "your taxi is here my dear". And it is because of its unique atmosphere of pure jazz pop that makes you forget the time and the day. And Asian Rut means Peace. And King Leer is brilliant! And the lullaby waltz of Driving Your Girlfriend Home stays into your mind for ever. And the funeral march leading to the end of the album let us cry because we can. And... and... and... And the critics massively attacked and ate this labour of love alive. And most of the fans believed that was really a crap. Even the young Moz confessed a slice of disappointment. Haters relax! Time will prove everything even for this List Of The Lost. The only sure thing is that your names are already registered in it. This is the place "gentlemen"

Good point.
The book was literally hours old to us and already there were already ''list'' articles of the ''worst lines''.

It's hard in today's day and age to let anything sink in, there's many occasions when listening to a new band or artist, I can be outraged that anybody can like them. Then after a couple of listens I can grow to like them.

I think dislike can translate to ''Morrissey (or whoever) is finished, this is literally the worst thing I have ever read etc'', when people's opinions filter through their computer to the internet.

There's no need to be extreme.

Some of Morrissey’s sentences defy all understanding: ... “What makes wild bluebells wild? And could they ever be tamed?”

Also having read some reviews I have to say, either the people behind them are being stupid on purpose or are a bit dim.
This sentence is pretty simple. We call Bluebells ''Wild bluebells'' ''wild'' when they grow naturally without human intervention. Arguably bluebells occurring in their natural environment exist outside of a human realm. So it is almost pompous of us (by this thread of logic) to have to define them as ''wild''. They're simply bluebells.

I mean whether you agree with this simple deconstruction of semantics, I don't think this sentence defies ALL understanding?
 
Last edited:

vegan.cro

Banned
Kill Uncle is a masterpiece. And it is because of the "i dont want to be judged anymore" moment. And it is because of the all time classic Sing Your Life. And it is because of the fantastic Our Frank. And it is because of the sweet melody and lovely rhyme "your taxi is here my dear". And it is because of its unique atmosphere of pure jazz pop that makes you forget the time and the day. And Asian Rut means Peace. And King Leer is brilliant! And the lullaby waltz of Driving Your Girlfriend Home stays into your mind for ever. And the funeral march leading to the end of the album let us cry because we can. And... and... and... And the critics massively attacked and ate this labour of love alive. And most of the fans believed that was really a crap. Even the young Moz confessed a slice of disappointment. Haters relax! Time will prove everything even for this List Of The Lost. The only sure thing is that your names are already registered in it. This is the place "gentlemen"

Beautiful post. Fashion fades but style is eternal. Heavy words are so lightly thrown - always on Msolow. But LIST OF THE LOST is suave and elegant, time will prove, just like with KU. Dear Sir (or Lady), indeed, post from you is beautiful, but - like a monk passing through a whorehouse.
 
Last edited:
A

Anonymous

Guest
Beautiful post. Fashion fades but style is eternal. Heavy words are so lightly thrown - always on Msolow. But LIST OF THE LOST is suave and elegant, time will prove, just like with KU. Dear Sir, indeed, post from you is beautiful, but - like a monk passing through a whorehouse.

Jesse, go to bed.
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Kill Uncle is a masterpiece. And it is because of the "i dont want to be judged anymore" moment. And it is because of the all time classic Sing Your Life. And it is because of the fantastic Our Frank. And it is because of the sweet melody and lovely rhyme "your taxi is here my dear". And it is because of its unique atmosphere of pure jazz pop that makes you forget the time and the day. And Asian Rut means Peace. And King Leer is brilliant! And the lullaby waltz of Driving Your Girlfriend Home stays into your mind for ever. And the funeral march leading to the end of the album let us cry because we can. And... and... and... And the critics massively attacked and ate this labour of love alive. And most of the fans believed that was really a crap. Even the young Moz confessed a slice of disappointment. Haters relax! Time will prove everything even for this List Of The Lost. The only sure thing is that your names are already registered in it. This is the place "gentlemen"

oh, please you can say that about anything who has meet bad reviews and its true in some cases but not this one. This book truly is shit.
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
_What the pedestrian critic calls an unhealthy, bad, the worst novel- is always a beautiful and
healthy work of art._
LIST OF THE LOST - splendid book.

Welcome to solo Steve. You really have hit rock bottom. Desperately bulling up your little book. Emperor without his clothes yet again.
 

Cicada

beware the wrath to come
oh, please you can say that about anything who has meet bad reviews and its true in some cases but not this one. This book truly is shit.
No book is shit, darling... Maybe you tried to express that you just read a bad book. Ok! Do not read it again! And do not try to burn it! We will think bad things of you. You understand...
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Honestly, all of these reviews are making me more excited to read it. My copy won't make it to the States until October though. :(

I feel the same way. I REALLY want to get my hands on it now. I mean, 'snowballing'?? As in the smutty definition of snowballing? I NEED to know this!
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
As usual with you, Wratten, you spectacularly sidestep the salient point.

I get that you like it. You get that I and many others don't. De gustibus non est disputandum.

I vehemently object to someone, coming here, and lying through their f***ing teeth to establish a clearly mendacious position, as this Croatian visitor has. THAT is what I object to. I don't care that some like and some don't. I care that someone is full of shit and lying.

are you goddamn kidding?? the lies on this site are INNUMERABLE! what's your pick and choose criteria?
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
No book is shit, darling... Maybe you tried to express that you just read a bad book. Ok! Do not read it again! And do not try to burn it! We will think bad things of you. You understand...

Darling? Oh do f*** off.
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
moz has gone crazy registering peeps here. there is like 6-7 of them. the 7 people that like the book are recent moz sign ups.
he must have been expecting trouble
 

butley

Well-Known Member
Has anyone found any of the alleged typos? Morrissey was never the best at spelling. Cemetry anyone?
 

Trending Threads

Top Bottom