"List of the Lost" reviews in The Telegraph, The Independent; media mentions

An anonymous person posted the link (original post):Morrissey's novel: the verdict by Charlotte Runcie (1 of 5 stars) - The Telegraph
Excerpt:

But what struck me is just how little these atrocious sex scenes stand out. The rest of the novel is just as overwrought, just as nonsensical, just as poorly conceived, awkwardly expressed and lazily imagined.

Some of Morrissey’s sentences defy all understanding: ... “What makes wild bluebells wild? And could they ever be tamed?” ......“Electrons from me need electrons from you in order to become electrons”..“animals do not need money”.

Morrissey recently announced that the final performances of his current solo tour will be his last in the UK. This fuelled speculation that he is about to retire as a singer-songwriter for good, to focus on the written word. We must beg him to reconsider."



An anonymous person writes (original post):

Another largely negative newspaper review - this time from The Independent:

List of the Lost by Morrissey, first read: Debut novel is a leaden festival of self-pity by Adam Sherwin (2 of 5 stars) - The Independent



Uncleskinny posted the link (original post):

Death of 1000 Cuts slices and dices Morrissey's List of the Lost - The List
Tim Clare casts his eye over Morrissey’s debut novel to explain all the poor reviews



An anonymous person posts (original post):

Another savage review from The Telegraph:

I love Morrissey, but his novel List of the Lost is woeful by Michael Deacon - The Telegraph
As a fan, I feel bad criticising it. So I'll quote from it instead

"The worst novel I’ve ever read...

The prose is a relentless thumping migraine of alliteration, assonance and rhyme. “Plungingly plump parents laugh loudly.” I suppose it’s meant to sound like James Joyce, but ultimately it’s more like a 40,000-word tongue-twister. And as for the sex... for years Morrissey claimed to be celibate. Now I’ve read his sex scenes, I believe him. They’re laughable."

I have never seen this many bad reviews for a book. Will this get a single half-decent newspaper review? It's not looking likely, at this stage!



UPDATE 10:00 AM PT:

Links posted in the comments:

Don't give up the day job, Morrissey! Singer's first novel is 'obvious frontrunner' for this year's Bad Sex In Fiction prize, say award organisers - Daily Mail. Link posted by an anonymous person.

Morrissey Has an Exceptionally Weird Term for "Boner" - Fuse. Link posted by Famous when dead.
 
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Poet

Banned
I think Uncleskinny needs a timeout, the pressure of moderating solow is getting to him. "f*** off this, f*** off that..." Ignoring everyone (blinders?), I mean, I think he's burnt out.
 
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Anonymous

Guest
so those are the marching orders?
the typos the bad grammar and writing were done on purpose in order to get bad reviews.
 

butley

Well-Known Member
Can you really be this dense? It was purposely spelt that way.

He obviously misspelled it and they kept it like that. Have you read James Dean is Not Dead? Full of spelling mistakes. It is not an indicator of a lack of intellect. In fact lots of highly intelligent people were and are bad spellers.

Ha now I see your joke. Spelt!!! Ha ha very funny.Pretending you can't spell.Pretending to be thick. Brilliant.
 
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Poet

Banned
He obviously misspelled it and they kept it like that. Have you read James Dean is Not Dead? Full of spelling mistakes. It is not an indicator of a lack of intellect. In fact lots of highly intelligent people were bad spellers.

Spelt? Are you really so dense?

I can't believe you can be this dense to miss the point. It is shocking. Spelt was done on purpose and so was Cemetry. If you can't realise that, you don't get Morrissey and you never will. IT WAS ON PURPOSE. Read the lyrics.

Nevermind, I'll drop it, but you are wrong.
 
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Anonymous

Guest
the book has plummeted to no 27 from yesterdays spot at 19.
oh oh.
the amazon reviews are brutal one calling it a car crash.
 

Tralala

New Member
The already infamous "sex scene" reads like some hack imitation of Burgess's first-rate imitation of Joyce, which can be found in Tremor of intent.
 

King Leer

Leering since '97
The book seems completely bonkers -- looking forward to it.
Publishing people: how likely is it that Morrissey's agreement stipulates that they must run the text unedited? From the looks of the excerpts it went out "as is". Take it or leave it!
 

AztecCamera

Well-Known Member
According to Jeremy at The Morrissey Marketing Group LTD-Malibu, Morrissey's next book will be a cook book, specializing in pasta meals with marinara sauce. Anonymous-
 
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Anonymous

Guest
As apart of the promotion of List of the lost. Morrissey is launching his own underwear for runners called "bulbous solutions, ultra thin and ultra breathable underwear for when your peen is feeling the steam".

He is also starting his own plumbing service called "bulbolus salutations plumbing service. Unclogs all your pipes!. Observe: a service available only for residentas in the central zone"
 
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Anonymous

Guest
He obviously misspelled it and they kept it like that. Have you read James Dean is Not Dead? Full of spelling mistakes. It is not an indicator of a lack of intellect. In fact lots of highly intelligent people were and are bad spellers.

Ha now I see your joke. Spelt!!! Ha ha very funny.Pretending you can't spell.Pretending to be thick. Brilliant.

this is true. fitzgeralds first novel this side of paradise went out with like over a hundred errors spelling dates and geographical all of which he called unimportant and he thought that the publisher would have fixed it. who knows with this as there was no editor but it does happen
 
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Anonymous

Guest
Publishing people: how likely is it that Morrissey's agreement stipulates that they must run the text unedited? From the looks of the excerpts it went out "as is". Take it or leave it!
Highly likely. Remember how 'Autobiography' was suddenly NOT going to be published by Penguin, according to True To You? Then Penguin backed down, and it came out. I'm guessing the standoff was over letting an editor touch the text.
 
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Anonymous

Guest
Here's another review, this time from the NME. Interesting that the NME have been full of gushing praise for Moz for the last couple of years, but even they are slagging the book off:

"List Of The Lost is a confused, often quite embarrassing slab of cringeworthy sex, clichés and bizarre, stilted dialogue...
Imagine Morrissey bent double, pumping away at his bulbous salutation, and you’ve imagined his book."


http://www.nme.com/reviews/morrissey/16268
 

Uncleskinny

It's all good
Subscriber
Beautiful post. Fashion fades but style is eternal. Heavy words are so lightly thrown - always on Msolow. But LIST OF THE LOST is suave and elegant, time will prove, just like with KU. Dear Sir (or Lady), indeed, post from you is beautiful, but - like a monk passing through a whorehouse.

You're lying AGAIN. Why? Why are you doing it? You haven't got it, you haven't read it. You are truly mad.
 
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Anonymous

Guest
the book has plummeted to no 27 from yesterdays spot at 19.
oh oh.
the amazon reviews are brutal one calling it a car crash.

Someone who gave List of the Lost 5 stars also gave the same rating to high rise briefs.
 
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Anonymous

Guest
I commend anyone who's read this cover to cover. Seriously, I can't get past page 15. My head hurts. Maybe that makes List of the Lost a kind of genius that's beyond my intellect and ability. But I've read and enjoyed Infinite Jest and Gravty's Rainbow and understood them both to a degree.

I don't know who the f is reading the audiobook but I'm seriously considering buying it.

Rather ironic that you have mentioned page 15 as that is the page that Morrissey mentions the Twitter dozen. #BlueRoseSociety WAKE UP WAKE UP
 
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