"List of the Lost" reviews in The Telegraph, The Independent; media mentions

An anonymous person posted the link (original post):Morrissey's novel: the verdict by Charlotte Runcie (1 of 5 stars) - The Telegraph
Excerpt:

But what struck me is just how little these atrocious sex scenes stand out. The rest of the novel is just as overwrought, just as nonsensical, just as poorly conceived, awkwardly expressed and lazily imagined.

Some of Morrissey’s sentences defy all understanding: ... “What makes wild bluebells wild? And could they ever be tamed?” ......“Electrons from me need electrons from you in order to become electrons”..“animals do not need money”.

Morrissey recently announced that the final performances of his current solo tour will be his last in the UK. This fuelled speculation that he is about to retire as a singer-songwriter for good, to focus on the written word. We must beg him to reconsider."



An anonymous person writes (original post):

Another largely negative newspaper review - this time from The Independent:

List of the Lost by Morrissey, first read: Debut novel is a leaden festival of self-pity by Adam Sherwin (2 of 5 stars) - The Independent



Uncleskinny posted the link (original post):

Death of 1000 Cuts slices and dices Morrissey's List of the Lost - The List
Tim Clare casts his eye over Morrissey’s debut novel to explain all the poor reviews



An anonymous person posts (original post):

Another savage review from The Telegraph:

I love Morrissey, but his novel List of the Lost is woeful by Michael Deacon - The Telegraph
As a fan, I feel bad criticising it. So I'll quote from it instead

"The worst novel I’ve ever read...

The prose is a relentless thumping migraine of alliteration, assonance and rhyme. “Plungingly plump parents laugh loudly.” I suppose it’s meant to sound like James Joyce, but ultimately it’s more like a 40,000-word tongue-twister. And as for the sex... for years Morrissey claimed to be celibate. Now I’ve read his sex scenes, I believe him. They’re laughable."

I have never seen this many bad reviews for a book. Will this get a single half-decent newspaper review? It's not looking likely, at this stage!



UPDATE 10:00 AM PT:

Links posted in the comments:

Don't give up the day job, Morrissey! Singer's first novel is 'obvious frontrunner' for this year's Bad Sex In Fiction prize, say award organisers - Daily Mail. Link posted by an anonymous person.

Morrissey Has an Exceptionally Weird Term for "Boner" - Fuse. Link posted by Famous when dead.
 
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Anonymous

Guest
the vegan guy is fake he hasnt even read the book hes just in to troll skinny.
its tough to love the worst book ever written. i dont think there will even be ONE SINGLE lukewarm legitimate review. thats some sort of world record.
 

Surface

Vegan Cro’s parents regret the condom splitting
Still, I love Morrissey, He hates you. Who's winning...

No one, because Morrissey doesn't give a f*** whether you love him or not. You sound like a kid in a school yard. If you like the book, thats great but if others think its shit, thats fine as well.
 
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Anonymous

Guest
The critics who failed to see the brilliance of this novel are rather like those quiz show/trivial pursuit morons, who think that getting dumb questions right, parrot like, will somehow hide the so low iq that is forever screaming to rise. No names mentioned.
 

vegan.cro

Banned
Morrissey doesn't give a rats ass about TouchedBy Uncleskinny, rest assured.


Dear friend,
Yes. I agree with you:
- The clever people never listen, and the stupid people never talk.
- But, but, I think the stupid people (Msolow Staatspolizei) talk a great deal.
- Ah, I never listen.
 

vegan.cro

Banned
No one, because Morrissey doesn't give a f*** whether you love him or not. You sound like a kid in a school yard. If you like the book, thats great but if others think its shit, thats fine as well.

Dear Sir, true, true.
Morrissey doesn't give a f*** whether I (you, anybody) love him or not.
But.
I love Morrissey, and Morrissey hates Msolow Staatspolizei.
- crystal clear fact -
 

Poet

Banned
Dear friend,
Yes. I agree with you:
- The clever people never listen, and the stupid people never talk.
- But, but, I think the stupid people (Msolow Staatspolizei) talk a great deal.
- Ah, I never listen.

Dear Best Friend,

Sometimes clever people don't talk much either. For example, in an insane asylum (like here), sometimes it is better to keep one to one's self--but I support you and think List of the Lost is the greatest piece of art/writing EVER. That's above Shakespeare, that's above Wilde, EVERYONE. Morrissey is the single most important person in history, above Jesus and God (if there is one) himself, simply put. I don't know if you know the m-solow user smiler, but he/she is brilliant as well. There are a few, you included.
 

vegan.cro

Banned
Dear Best Friend,

Sometimes clever people don't talk much either. For example, in an insane asylum (like here), sometimes it is better to keep one to one's self--but I support you and think List of the Lost is the greatest piece of art/writing EVER. That's above Shakespeare, that's above Wilde, EVERYONE. Morrissey is the single most important person in history, above Jesus and God (if there is one) himself, simply put. I don't know if you know the m-solow user smiler, but he/she is brilliant as well. There are a few, you included.

How perfectly delightful - your post.
LIST OF THE LOST - yes - such reckless extravagance. THANK YOU MORRISSEY FOR IT!
 
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Anonymous

Guest
How come TTY isn't posting the reviews

T T Y list of the lost novel by Silly Steven, Guardian newspaper review.

" It is an unpolished turd of a book, the stale excrement of Silly Steven's imagination."

Benny-the-British-Butcher
 

vegan.cro

Banned
i'm generally not shying away from difficult literature. so, yeah, still looking forward to reading the novella. so far it seems as if morrissey really went out of his way to be difficult, uncompromising and status-oriented.

Go, read, please. And bear in mind statement:
"I don't play accurately - anyone can play accurately - but I play with wonderful expression."
Great book, brilliant 'roman a clef', so, kindly turn your back to all negative and short-sighted 'Miss Prism's'...
 
why do you care about how they talk

Just because I pass comment on it doesn't mean I care. I just find it amusing that grown adults behave this way, as if imitating Morrissey's prose style somehow makes them a bigger fan. It's really laughable. I guess that's why a lot of Moz's fans seem to make their entire lives about him. They don't seem to have much of an identity of their own.
 
Here's another review, this time from the NME. Interesting that the NME have been full of gushing praise for Moz for the last couple of years, but even they are slagging the book off:

"List Of The Lost is a confused, often quite embarrassing slab of cringeworthy sex, clichés and bizarre, stilted dialogue...
Imagine Morrissey bent double, pumping away at his bulbous salutation, and you’ve imagined his book."


http://www.nme.com/reviews/morrissey/16268

I absolutely LOVE Morrissey, and I'd ride him in a shot, but christ, that's a really horrible image that I wish I didn't have in my brain. Thanks, NME, you absolute bastards.
 
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Anonymous

Guest
Just because I pass comment on it doesn't mean I care. I just find it amusing that grown adults behave this way, as if imitating Morrissey's prose style somehow makes them a bigger fan. It's really laughable. I guess that's why a lot of Moz's fans seem to make their entire lives about him. They don't seem to have much of an identity of their own.

seems like youre being mean to people for a reason you say you only find amusing at best which is just not cool to me but whatever its not like i can stop you or anything.

as to the difficult literature i think moz just made a very stylistic novel and im a fan of stylistic writers myself. dont know if this will mean the book is great but i do think that the intention
 
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Anonymous

Guest
Two replies. One time ΅shit΅ explaining a book, next time ΅Do f*** Off΅ replying to a message from a person you do not know.
Anyone can be unkind to another but the way he is shows his rank, i suppose...
Really very elastic vocabulary! Congratulations darling... You must be a critic eh? If you are not it is really a waste.
That is the best you can do.

I'm a different person. Never said the book was shit, I think it is beyond fantastic....darling.
 

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