"List of the Lost" reviews in The Telegraph, The Independent; media mentions

An anonymous person posted the link (original post):Morrissey's novel: the verdict by Charlotte Runcie (1 of 5 stars) - The Telegraph
Excerpt:

But what struck me is just how little these atrocious sex scenes stand out. The rest of the novel is just as overwrought, just as nonsensical, just as poorly conceived, awkwardly expressed and lazily imagined.

Some of Morrissey’s sentences defy all understanding: ... “What makes wild bluebells wild? And could they ever be tamed?” ......“Electrons from me need electrons from you in order to become electrons”..“animals do not need money”.

Morrissey recently announced that the final performances of his current solo tour will be his last in the UK. This fuelled speculation that he is about to retire as a singer-songwriter for good, to focus on the written word. We must beg him to reconsider."



An anonymous person writes (original post):

Another largely negative newspaper review - this time from The Independent:

List of the Lost by Morrissey, first read: Debut novel is a leaden festival of self-pity by Adam Sherwin (2 of 5 stars) - The Independent



Uncleskinny posted the link (original post):

Death of 1000 Cuts slices and dices Morrissey's List of the Lost - The List
Tim Clare casts his eye over Morrissey’s debut novel to explain all the poor reviews



An anonymous person posts (original post):

Another savage review from The Telegraph:

I love Morrissey, but his novel List of the Lost is woeful by Michael Deacon - The Telegraph
As a fan, I feel bad criticising it. So I'll quote from it instead

"The worst novel I’ve ever read...

The prose is a relentless thumping migraine of alliteration, assonance and rhyme. “Plungingly plump parents laugh loudly.” I suppose it’s meant to sound like James Joyce, but ultimately it’s more like a 40,000-word tongue-twister. And as for the sex... for years Morrissey claimed to be celibate. Now I’ve read his sex scenes, I believe him. They’re laughable."

I have never seen this many bad reviews for a book. Will this get a single half-decent newspaper review? It's not looking likely, at this stage!



UPDATE 10:00 AM PT:

Links posted in the comments:

Don't give up the day job, Morrissey! Singer's first novel is 'obvious frontrunner' for this year's Bad Sex In Fiction prize, say award organisers - Daily Mail. Link posted by an anonymous person.

Morrissey Has an Exceptionally Weird Term for "Boner" - Fuse. Link posted by Famous when dead.
 
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Busted. You, sir, all full of shit. You haven't even read it. Now f*** off.

I've read it, and really, really like it. It is unlike any other book I have read. Are you struggling with the fact that some people actually enjoy it?
And just in case - the first word on page 60 is blathers.

R
 
From what source is it available in Croatia? iBooks? Amazon?

Lord. If Morrissey Cro-Magnon is trying to plug his book from Croatia, he's getting really desperate.
Hasn't he got a gig to go to?

Seriously, V-Cro. You know where you can shove these keys?
 
Busted. You, sir, all full of shit. You haven't even read it. Now f*** off.

I think this vegan thing is Brummie returned to Solo taking the other side of the debate. Newly registered, over posting and able to write very well. If it isn't him, it's his brother!
 
I would imagine that with all these scathing reviews pouring in that it must be a terrible time for Damon's rectum!

How so? Can you say what you mean with other words? Or explain what you mean?

Is the book dedicated to anybody?
 
I would imagine that with all these scathing reviews pouring in that it must be a terrible time for Damon's rectum!

Not necessarily...

Morrissey does have a lot of moves on stage that suggest he's a rough one. Thump! Wham! etc.
Not entirely a reassuring huma to me...But some people probably like it.

He probably spanks him with a phone book every night... (true love leaves no traces.)

(Yes? What? Oh come on, I didn't say anything bad about the back entry at Grand Central!!!)

? Isn't List of the Lost about hate sex with imps anyways? Or something.
 
I commend anyone who's read this cover to cover. Seriously, I can't get past page 15. My head hurts. Maybe that makes List of the Lost a kind of genius that's beyond my intellect and ability. But I've read and enjoyed Infinite Jest and Gravty's Rainbow and understood them both to a degree.

I don't know who the f is reading the audiobook but I'm seriously considering buying it.
 
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Seriously, I can't get past page 15.

But that isn't really significant for the judgement of a book. I could force myself to finish Ulysses, Infinite Jest or anything by Russian authors of a certain era. Doesn't make them bad books apparently as they are generally accepted by the rest of the world.
 
I haven't read the book and I plan to when I get get ahold of one, but one thing these reviews make me feel sorry for is that Morrissey either doesn't have friends honest enough to read it and say it needs some basic editing (context/shift/paring down) proving that they are just feeding him platitudes, or WORSE, he has no friends he feels confident enough to share the book with before it goes to print. Why didn't Linder proof this and say "Honey you're going to be panned by the literati, it needs editing."? Book reviewers are the most nitpickey critics, they are HARSH. Did Morrissey bank on this being a magical experiment where he channeled a literary voice and to alter the voice was to alter the spirit or something? I always feel like there has to be an explanation beyond that he's a horrible writer, because he's NOT.
 
I've read it, and really, really like it. It is unlike any other book I have read. Are you struggling with the fact that some people actually enjoy it?
And just in case - the first word on page 60 is blathers.

R

As usual with you, Wratten, you spectacularly sidestep the salient point.

I get that you like it. You get that I and many others don't. De gustibus non est disputandum.

I vehemently object to someone, coming here, and lying through their f***ing teeth to establish a clearly mendacious position, as this Croatian visitor has. THAT is what I object to. I don't care that some like and some don't. I care that someone is full of shit and lying.
 
The consistency and fervor with which every critic is dismantling Morrissey's first novel makes me tend to believe that it's probably actually very good... If it's true there are blatant typos and grammatical errors that even Morrissey knows were mistakes that found their way into the publication, then that's too bad...Morrissey needs an editor, in that regard. But of the (10), or so, reviews I've read...NONE of them have had substance enough to steer me off of my plans to purchase and read.
 
As usual with you, Wratten, you spectacularly sidestep the salient point.

I get that you like it. You get that I and many others don't. De gustibus non est disputandum.

I vehemently object to someone, coming here, and lying through their f***ing teeth to establish a clearly mendacious position, as this Croatian visitor has. THAT is what I object to. I don't care that some like and some don't. I care that someone is full of shit and lying.

Rasist?
 
Uncleskinny whippin' out the Latin. :popcorn: (You're winning.)
 
Ha, ha, ha, why sweating so much, you bigot.

Playing the racist card, you f***ing liar? No wait...you f***ing desperate liar.

I've been an anti-racist campaigner all my life. You picked the wrong guy.

But let's not lose sight of the real story here - you are a f***ing liar, and you lied, lied and lied again.
 
Playing the racist card, you f***ing liar? No wait...you f***ing desperate liar.

I've been an anti-racist campaigner all my life. You picked the wrong guy.

But let's not lose sight of the real story here - you are a f***ing liar, and you lied, lied and lied again.

The limits of language mean(s) the limits of world. You Ass-thet.
Bigot
 

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