"Morrissey 25: Live" review by Robbie Collin (1/5 stars) - The Telegraph

Please! No more spoilers! I can't wait till tomorrow when I go to Merry Hill for an evening of retail therapy then THAT film! I can't think what to wear, or what perfume to use. I hope the audience are tasteful and elegant and there are no meat burger-munching troglodytes in the lobby to upset me as I glide towards the screening room. I will have a glass of champagne and some lovely food first, then a discrete hip-flask of Grey Goose and Tonic so I can imagine how utterly wonderful my life would be if only I could 'Hollywood Me' and live in secluded misanthropy in Bel Air. Still, I am blessed that my circumstances allow me to attend this unique event and that my long-suffering wife agrees to attend and drive so I can drink: even if she will, somewhat disconcertingly, be buried in her iPad next to me. She 'doesn't get it'. I will meet fellow worshippers if all goes well and I will no longer be this sad, lonely casualty "in mom's basement furiously bashing away on my keyboard like a demented troll": I will experience an epiphany and "get it" and realise that my yawns at shows in recent years were a personal crisis and no reflection on the wondrous beauty of songs such as "Kid's A Looker". Is that in it?

My wife is a non-believer and she dismisses Morrissey'fans' as a delusional borderline-sociopathic cult. Surely that's grounds for divorce? I guess I should have made it clear before she walked down the aisle: Morrissey comes first!

Great. Now we can look forward to your two page long review on it.
 
Great. Now we can look forward to your two page long review on it.

Actually, you can't. We went to the Retail Emporium, did some ironic 'bling' shopping , then bumped into old friends and decided to all go for an evening meal. I comepletely forgot about the film until my wife said "What about Morrissey?". And I said, "Oh, he can wait. i've seen that show enough, even if it was a different set-list. You drink, I'll drive.". We had a lovely evening. Sorry to dissapoint you, darling!
 
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Have a think about the following:

Critical mass of critical thinking.
Consensual reality.
Solipsistic resistance to external feedback.

Why doesn't it matter what another person's perceptions are? Since when did you become arbiter of relevance?. There is now a wide consensus that Morrissey's career has been effectively derailed by his own actions and behaviour. You appear to be retreating behind the cult 'group think' so prevalent here which dismisses any criticism or concern as irrelevant to protect your own mal-investment of time, money and emotion in The Cult of Morrissey. You have the option to put non-compliant non-cult commenters on 'ignore'. Please refrain from trying to police the discussion in future. Whilst this feedback may be initially challenging, it is my hope and prayer that it plays a small part in your journey of recovery from cult capture.

regards.

Shut the fuuuuuucccckkk up!
 
Actually, you can't. We went to the Retail Emporium, did some ironic 'bling' shopping , then bumped into old friends and decided to all go for an evening meal. I comepletely forgot about the film until my wife said "What about Morrissey?". And I said, "Oh, he can wait. i've seen that show enough, even if it was a different set-list. You drink, I'll drive.". We had a lovely evening. Sorry to dissapoint you, darling!

Your low self-esteem is showing.
 
Actually, you can't. We went to the Retail Emporium, did some ironic 'bling' shopping , then bumped into old friends and decided to all go for an evening meal. I comepletely forgot about the film until my wife said "What about Morrissey?". And I said, "Oh, he can wait. i've seen that show enough, even if it was a different set-list. You drink, I'll drive.". We had a lovely evening. Sorry to dissapoint you, darling!

Hate to nitpick and be petty, but since you do it so regularly I will - you spelt (completely) wrongly, for someone who pretends to be intelligent that's pretty poor .
 
Re: "Morrissey 25: Live" review by Robbie Collin (1/5 stars) - The Telegraph

Hate to nitpick and be petty, but since you do it so regularly I will - you spelt (completely) wrongly, for someone who pretends to be intelligent that's pretty poor .

I don't type these messages, I dictate them to my secretary, Sharon. I will take this matter up with her at our weekly review on Friday. Thank you for pointing this out as she cannot improve if I am not alerted to such matters. By the way, I love 'wrongly'. Very amusing. I don't pretend to be intelligent, it's a fact. Obviously, I'm not as intelligent as Morrissey: I couldn't write such insightful commentary on world events. I'm sorry you're thick, but if you focus on remedial education rather than being an amateur hour Grammar Nazi you might find people don't roll their eyes at you everytime you open your mouth. Please refrain from further irrelevant comments and at least try to stay on topic.

regards.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Grammar Nazi



[Hi, Shazza here! you bitch...getting me in trouble!]

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0274812/


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Your low self-esteem is showing.

Thank you for that psychological evalution. Good luck with your correspondence course. Maybe one day you will be a student counsellor. Or a proof-reader correctly spelling and grammar: anything that distracts you from pointless comments on this site. Again, remain on topic, and stop trying to duel with me: it's acutely obvious you struggle to walk and chew gum at the same time. This is a thread about Morrissey, not your personality conflicts.

regards.
 
Shut the fuuuuuucccckkk up!

I'm concerned to read you are losing control and typing angry vitriol instead of seeking professional help for your emotional disturbance. You might also want to get your laptop repaired as you have a 'sticky key' problem with letter U, letter C and letter K. Please desist from futher outbursts. If you do comment again in this thread, ensure you address the review in The Telegraph, not your inability to recognise your challenging behaviour before you commit it to the screen. Stop typing. Stop trying to stop me typing. Go and find something more useful to do.

regards.
 
Re: "Morrissey 25: Live" review by Robbie Collin (1/5 stars) - The Telegraph

I don't type these messages, I dictate them to my secretary, Sharon. I will take this matter up with her at our weekly review on Friday. Thank you for pointing this out as she cannot improve if I am not alerted to such matters. By the way, I love 'wrongly'. Very amusing. I don't pretend to be intelligent, it's a fact. Obviously, I'm not as intelligent as Morrissey: I couldn't write such insightful commentary on world events. I'm sorry you're thick, but if you focus on remedial education rather than being an amateur hour Grammar Nazi you might find people don't roll their eyes at you everytime you open your mouth. Please refrain from further irrelevant comments and at least try to stay on topic.

regards.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Grammar Nazi



[Hi, Shazza here! you bitch...getting me in trouble!]

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0274812/


- - - Updated - - -



Thank you for that psychological evalution. Good luck with your correspondence course. Maybe one day you will be a student counsellor. Or a proof-reader correctly spelling and grammar: anything that distracts you from pointless comments on this site. Again, remain on topic, and stop trying to duel with me: it's acutely obvious you struggle to walk and chew gum at the same time. This is a thread about Morrissey, not your personality conflicts.

regards.

Well, now we agree on something.

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I don't type these messages, I dictate them to my secretary, Sharon. I will take this matter up with her at our weekly review on Friday. Thank you for pointing this out as she cannot improve if I am not alerted to such matters. By the way, I love 'wrongly'. Very amusing. I don't pretend to be intelligent, it's a fact. Obviously, I'm not as intelligent as Morrissey: I couldn't write such insightful commentary on world events. I'm sorry you're thick, but if you focus on remedial education rather than being an amateur hour Grammar Nazi you might find people don't roll their eyes at you everytime you open your mouth. Please refrain from further irrelevant comments and at least try to stay on topic.

regards.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Grammar Nazi



[Hi, Shazza here! you bitch...getting me in trouble!]

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0274812/


- - - Updated - - -



Thank you for that psychological evalution. Good luck with your correspondence course. Maybe one day you will be a student counsellor. Or a proof-reader correctly spelling and grammar: anything that distracts you from pointless comments on this site. Again, remain on topic, and stop trying to duel with me: it's acutely obvious you struggle to walk and chew gum at the same time. This is a thread about Morrissey, not your personality conflicts.

regards.

Really, dolt? This thread is about Morrissey?! Your secretary probably wants to blow her brains out listening to you dictate this shit.
 
I'm concerned to read you are losing control and typing angry vitriol instead of seeking professional help for your emotional disturbance. You might also want to get your laptop repaired as you have a 'sticky key' problem with letter U, letter C and letter K. Please desist from futher outbursts. If you do comment again in this thread, ensure you address the review in The Telegraph, not your inability to recognise your challenging behaviour before you commit it to the screen. Stop typing. Stop trying to stop me typing. Go and find something more useful to do.

regards.

Stop typing?! That’s really funny coming from someone who takes up a whole pages with his nonsensical babble.
 
Stop typing?! That’s really funny coming from someone who takes up a whole pages with his nonsensical babble.

Stop typing silly replies. Stop reading my comments which confuse and disturb you as you do not have the intellectual capacity to understand them. Stop littering threads with your foolish attempts to gain my attention and attach your clownish persona to my supernova.

regards.
 
Re: "Morrissey 25: Live" review by Robbie Collin (1/5 stars) - The Telegraph

Well, now we agree on something.

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Really, dolt? This thread is about Morrissey?! Your secretary probably wants to blow her brains out listening to you dictate this shit.

I'm off to bed now. Thank you for playing. Thank you for providing me with more lulz. Do continue to communicate your pain and confusion. I understand you are jealous and enraged by the beauty of my prose, but that doesn't mean you should waste time being bitter. Try something else instead: knitting or line dancing. Anything that distracts you from obsessing about BrummieBoy.

regards.

ps: Remember now, I'm off to bed, so don't type hundreds of temper tantrums and stay up for ever waiting for replies. I will be in bed, asleep. Do you understand? We'll see.....]
 
Stop typing silly replies. Stop reading my comments which confuse and disturb you as you do not have the intellectual capacity to understand them. Stop littering threads with your foolish attempts to gain my attention and attach your clownish persona to my supernova.

regards.

Stop Stop Stop Stop Stop LOL!!!!
 
If you did go for a meal and miss the film brummmieboy then that was a mistake. Seen the film last night( after a meal) and it was very entertaining and very touching. I can quite understand why you drove and your wife had a drink, and another drink, and another drink and so on. My sympathies go out to her. Is that on topic enough for you? Do you want to be a moderator?
 
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Re: "Morrissey 25: Live" review by Robbie Collin (1/5 stars) - The Telegraph

I'm off to bed now. Thank you for playing. Thank you for providing me with more lulz. Do continue to communicate your pain and confusion. I understand you are jealous and enraged by the beauty of my prose, but that doesn't mean you should waste time being bitter. Try something else instead: knitting or line dancing. Anything that distracts you from obsessing about BrummieBoy.

regards.

ps: Remember now, I'm off to bed, so don't type hundreds of temper tantrums and stay up for ever waiting for replies. I will be in bed, asleep. Do you understand? We'll see.....]

Yes, I understand you are "off to bed". You said that twice. sheesh. :rolleyes: However, it is now cocktail time in California.
 
Re: "Morrissey 25: Live" review by Robbie Collin (1/5 stars) - The Telegraph

Yes, I understand you are "off to bed". You said that twice. sheesh. :rolleyes: However, it is now cocktail time in California.

So, you have an issue with alcohol intoxication. This is helpful to understand as it makes staging a 'managed intervention' easier. I guess it's possible your cocktail choices are non-alcholic, but the rambling fog of your prose suggests otherwise.

I hope there are other Cultees on these boards who can contact you 'in real life' and guide you to a place of safety. Alcoholic treatment strategies were famously highlighted with the establishment of The Betty Ford Clinic. I hope you have sufficient health insurance to access suitable facilities.

Obviously, your embarassing behaviour has to be re-contextualised give this disclosure. Some here speculated on whether or not Morrissey's anti-social outbursts might be indicative of an underlying intoxication issue. I think it's just Celebrity Entitlement Syndrome, but if he does have any such 'issues' my fervent hope and prayer is that he too, finds his way to a treatment sanctury. If Morrissey is now doing some sort of cliche 'rock'n'roll waster lifestyle', perhaps you will both be in the same ward and can finally meet your 'Pop Idol'?

Might I also suggest you use Milk Thistle to protect your liver from some of the hepatotoxic damage? It's a herb widely used here in Europe for that purpose.

With every good wish and in hope that you find your sobriety.
 
If you did go for a meal and miss the film brummmieboy then that was a mistake. Seen the film last night( after a meal) and it was very entertaining and very touching. I can quite understand why you drove and your wife had a drink, and another drink, and another drink and so on. My sympathies go out to her. Is that on topic enough for you? Do you want to be a moderator?

You are confused. My wife was going to drive so I could drink and pretend I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour whilst the film footage unfurled. However, when we decided to have a meal with friends, I agreed to drive so she could have a glass of Merlot with her meal. I see what you are suggesting, that my wife can only cope with marriage to me by seeking refuge in the bottle. I can assure you she wears the trousers, and is entirely moderate with her consumption of alcohol. Given you are a Glaswegian of Irish stock, it concerns me that you would automatically assume that everyone uses alcohol abuse as a default coping strategy. Certainly, my visits to Glasgow have left me with an impression that the city's denizens are so depressed by their deinsustrialised misfortunes that they get blotto most nights. A similar, if not so extreme, response is evident in Birmingham and other provincial cities.

I am a moderator, of sorts. By my very presence here I raise the tone and vibration of these boards so that all realise they have to up their game now that The Mentalist Three have shown themselves the red card. For a few games, at least.

Where do you live in Glasgow? Are you a 'Ned'? Do you wear acryllic tracksuits from Peacocks or Matalan? Do you live in one of those high-rises visible from the ring road as I drive into the centre to park at that concrete cage car park opposite the central Travelodge? Or are you a rich suburbanite? I assume you are a Celtic fan. Some hilarous idiot here tried to link me to someone called 'Shaun The Brumme' who was a rabid, racist Celtic fan. Lots of my Irish Brummie mates are Celtic fans and nearly everyone I know in Dublin is a Man U fan, whilst others in Ulster support Aston Villa for some obscure reason. Are you sporty? Do you play 5-A-Side when you clock off from the Jobcentre Plus role?

Yes, this is 'off-topic' so if you want to continue this conversation, there is a basement club called 'The Pigsty' where you can make speculations about my relationship without incurring the wrath of the moderators. Hopefully, they will be forgiving towards you today, but don't do it again. OK?

With every good wish, and in jubilation that you enjoyed Morrissey's concert film. The reviews are generally lukewarm, but sometimes reviews are wrong. If the film is popular with Neds, then I will have to re-evaluate my response.

regards.
 
You are confused. My wife was going to drive so I could drink and pretend I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour whilst the film footage unfurled. However, when we decided to have a meal with friends, I agreed to drive so she could have a glass of Merlot with her meal. I see what you are suggesting, that my wife can only cope with marriage to me by seeking refuge in the bottle. I can assure you she wears the trousers, and is entirely moderate with her consumption of alcohol. Given you are a Glaswegian of Irish stock, it concerns me that you would automatically assume that everyone uses alcohol abuse as a default coping strategy. Certainly, my visits to Glasgow have left me with an impression that the city's denizens are so depressed by their deinsustrialised misfortunes that they get blotto most nights. A similar, if not so extreme, response is evident in Birmingham and other provincial cities.

I am a moderator, of sorts. By my very presence here I raise the tone and vibration of these boards so that all realise they have to up their game now that The Mentalist Three have shown themselves the red card. For a few games, at least.

Where do you live in Glasgow? Are you a 'Ned'? Do you wear acryllic tracksuits from Peacocks or Matalan? Do you live in one of those high-rises visible from the ring road as I drive into the centre to park at that concrete cage car park opposite the central Travelodge? Or are you a rich suburbanite? I assume you are a Celtic fan. Some hilarous idiot here tried to link me to someone called 'Shaun The Brumme' who was a rabid, racist Celtic fan. Lots of my Irish Brummie mates are Celtic fans and nearly everyone I know in Dublin is a Man U fan, whilst others in Ulster support Aston Villa for some obscure reason. Are you sporty? Do you play 5-A-Side when you clock off from the Jobcentre Plus role?

Yes, this is 'off-topic' so if you want to continue this conversation, there is a basement club called 'The Pigsty' where you can make speculations about my relationship without incurring the wrath of the moderators. Hopefully, they will be forgiving towards you today, but don't do it again. OK?

With every good wish, and in jubilation that you enjoyed Morrissey's concert film. The reviews are generally lukewarm, but sometimes reviews are wrong. If the film is popular with Neds, then I will have to re-evaluate my response.

regards.
i can assure you the film was very good, was well attended, with no neds there at all. As for the reviews, I do think this film is solely for morrissey fans( in which case you should avoid it) and if a reviewer is not a morrissey fan then it would get a lukewarm review. For example if I reviewed an eminem film I would not enjoy it, no matter how good it was or what the fans thought about it. To answer your question , I am not a ned, have never worn a tracksuit and I am a celtic fan, and watching our big game tonight. I do not live in a high rise in glasgow, I actually live on a beautiful island on the Clyde estuary(won't be any more specific than that). As I post this sitting on my balcony overlooking the bay, the ferry sails past accompanied by some basking sharks,and the seals sit on the rocks along the shore. Much what I imagine your view in Birmingham to be like.
 
i can assure you the film was very good, was well attended, with no neds there at all. As for the reviews, I do think this film is solely for morrissey fans( in which case you should avoid it) and if a reviewer is not a morrissey fan then it would get a lukewarm review. For example if I reviewed an eminem film I would not enjoy it, no matter how good it was or what the fans thought about it. To answer your question , I am not a ned, have never worn a tracksuit and I am a celtic fan, and watching our big game tonight. I do not live in a high rise in glasgow, I actually live on a beautiful island on the Clyde estuary(won't be any more specific than that). As I post this sitting on my balcony overlooking the bay, the ferry sails past accompanied by some basking sharks,and the seals sit on the rocks along the shore. Much what I imagine your view in Birmingham to be like.

You're not a critic you're a 'fan'. I get it. Morrissey. Celtic. Not Eminem, not Rangers. That's fine, but some of us are more discerning and critical and do not suspend judgement just for an easy ride.

I look out of my window as the sun sets behind the Malvern Hills. I don't live in Birmingham, I just grew up there and go there to party. I hope you enjoy your tied cottage whilst the job lasts. I've had some cracking summer jobs too.

with every good wish, yours in jubilo.
 

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