...
I demand dirty fanfic, this very instant.
He looks Hot in this picture!!
He looks hot in every picture!
"You're the new girl, aye?"
Spyder's bluebird necklace jingled as she looked up from the stack of Frank Sinatra albums and memorabilia she'd been asked to dust and organize. They'd just gotten back from the tour a couple of days ago. Spyder's ongoing willingness to fulfill whatever lowly tasks asked of her and her tolerance of Morrissey's mood swings had earned her a spot, for the time being anyway, in Morrissey's housekeeping crew.
"Yes, that's me," she replied, scared that she was being sent home already.
"The Mozfather has asked me to fetch you," said Gloria, Sarah's less grumpy cousin and overseer of the staff.
Spyder glanced worriedly at the Sinatra records.
"Don't worry about that - we'll be in town long enough that you'll have plenty of time to finish it, and Morrissey knows that it's going to take a while with all the new things he picked up this tour."
Spyder carefully took off the white cotton gloves she'd been wearing to protect the memorabilia and followed Gloria upstairs.
Gloria sniffed in her general direction. "Is that supermarket deoderant you've got on? We'll have to get you showered. Morrissey has a short list of acceptable personal care products that he knows haven't been tested on animals, and he's plenty suspicious of anything not on his list. Don't worry, we've got extra for you."
They stopped in a bathroom on the second floor. Gloria took a closer look at her.
"Sorry about this, but Morrissey's been prickly lately about any company that he disagrees with anything about. Your shirt's going to have to go - they used a Madonna song in the advertising campaign a few years ago. And your jeans - that company partnered with Proctor and Gamble last year." Gloria turned her back. "You know what, it'll just be easier to take everything off, shower down, and afterwards put on that cotton Gucci bathrobe on the shelf over there. There's Avignon deoderant in that top drawer, and some animal-free moisturizer on the shelf. I'll be back in 15 to take you up to see Morrissey."
Gloria left and closed the door behind her.
I'd forgotten all about the necklace dream-Morrissey gave me. But even he can't make me do housework.
