Mozza220559
Surmontil 50
What type of fan are you from the following questions...
Question 1. - Morrissey is playing in your home town, would you?...
a.) Book 12 tickets immediately and create your own blood spattered t-shirt of Morrissey's face using your own blood and throw a jizz-soaked letter onstage sealed with your own salty tears.
b.) Book 2 tickets for you and a good friend or someone you're in a relationship with and make a night of it.
c.) Anticipate the fact he's coming to your home town 2 days before the gig and sit sulking on Moz-solo for the rest of the week slagging his shirt choice off and moaning at him for singing Scandanavia again.
Question 2. - Morrissey secures a new record deal with an album to be released 1 month later, do you?...
a.) Pre-order 4 copies (Vinyl, Download, CD & Deluxe CD) and mentally compile a list of your favourite Morrissey songs chronogically and mark each track out of 10 then create a graph calculating the mean average.
b.) Wait until the day of release and pick one up from your local record shop or Amazon/Play.com and enjoy listening to it in your own home.
c.) Buy 10 copies all on vinyl, burn them take a piss on them and film the footage and post it on Allyouneedismorrissey.com
Question 3. - Morrissey invites Johnny Marr to be a guest guitarist on some new songs for Morrissey's up and coming album, do you?...
a.) Immediately go on Facebook harrassing Mike Joyce and ring the NME editor telling them The Smiths are reforming to play Wembely and take a wank over your Queen Is Dead vinyl cover
b.) Be pleasantly surprised, and get excited how the new songs will sound and what Morrissey's lyrics will reveal
c.) Fire a .44 Magnum at your record player until empty and punch the nearest loved one you can find in the face.
Question 4. - Morrissey reveals in his Autobiography that in the 90s he had a brief relationship with Jake Walters, and comes out gay, do you?...
a.) Cut off your own labia using the shards of your Vauxhall & I vinyl, crying how Morrissey has betrayed you and how he will burn and go to hell.
b.) Accept and welcome his choice and continue to admire his music regardless.
c.) Instantly call him a Limey fag who's music has gone down hill since he turned into a Limey fag. Selling off your whole Moz/Smiths back catalogue on ebay with no reserve on it.
Question 5. - Morrissey is signing his new album and book in HMV for 1 day only, do you?...
a.) Dust off the sleeping bag and start queing in the afternoon before he's due to appear, bringing a suitcase of Morrissey memerobilia and two batteries for your camera, crying at him as you film him in HD signing Kill Uncle for you.
b.) Try to go along during your dinner break and try to shake his hand and get your album signed.
c.) Fill 8 water bombs full of pig blood and ambush him whilst he's hugging a fan, only to get arrested and imprisoned for 3 months.
Question 6. - You spot Morrissey shopping with his elderly mother in Sainsburys do you?...
a.) Corner him around the delicatessen with your trolley and get him to engrave his signature on your arm using a fish knife, weeping and pulling at his trousers as he's trying to talk sense to you.
b.) Kindly tap him on the shoulder tell him how much you love his work and how much his music means to you.
c.) Shout "c***" from 50 yards away whilst he's with his mother and hide behind the baked beans, then scuttle onto Morrissey-solo and talk about how much of a twat he is the flesh.
Question 7. - Morrissey is to appear on Jonanthan Ross with an interview and 3 new tracks off his album, do you?...
a.) Record the show and create 58 different GIF's, talking about how you had a wank looking at his collar bone on the frink thread.
b.) Watch and enjoy the show, enjoying the new songs and chat on here some time after offering a balanced and consice critique.
c.) Say Jesse Tobias is a hopelessly shit guitarist and he's only in the band because he's Mexican, and call Morrissey a douche bag fag, who is abominable as a human and doesn't deserve success.
Question 8. - Morrissey announces his retirement, how do you react, do you?...
a.) Wear black for 3 months, mourning his musical decision, visiting various doctors who all tell you to take a long walk, only for you to then to develop a valium addiction.
b.) Appreciate his decision and realise he's a human who wants to do other things, but still keeping his music close to your heart.
c.) Post an 11 minute tirade on YouTube on how he should have done this years ago without tarnishing his demi-god image, repeatedly calling him a Limey fag, only to then follow Mike Joyce on Twitter.
Let's see the results then!
Mostly a.) Deluded super fan with metal tendencies, believing you are his soul-mate and eternal lover.
Mostly b.) A well balanced intelligent Moz fan.
Mostly c.) An embittered ex Moz fan who unable to just let things go.
Thanks guys!
Question 1. - Morrissey is playing in your home town, would you?...
a.) Book 12 tickets immediately and create your own blood spattered t-shirt of Morrissey's face using your own blood and throw a jizz-soaked letter onstage sealed with your own salty tears.
b.) Book 2 tickets for you and a good friend or someone you're in a relationship with and make a night of it.
c.) Anticipate the fact he's coming to your home town 2 days before the gig and sit sulking on Moz-solo for the rest of the week slagging his shirt choice off and moaning at him for singing Scandanavia again.
Question 2. - Morrissey secures a new record deal with an album to be released 1 month later, do you?...
a.) Pre-order 4 copies (Vinyl, Download, CD & Deluxe CD) and mentally compile a list of your favourite Morrissey songs chronogically and mark each track out of 10 then create a graph calculating the mean average.
b.) Wait until the day of release and pick one up from your local record shop or Amazon/Play.com and enjoy listening to it in your own home.
c.) Buy 10 copies all on vinyl, burn them take a piss on them and film the footage and post it on Allyouneedismorrissey.com
Question 3. - Morrissey invites Johnny Marr to be a guest guitarist on some new songs for Morrissey's up and coming album, do you?...
a.) Immediately go on Facebook harrassing Mike Joyce and ring the NME editor telling them The Smiths are reforming to play Wembely and take a wank over your Queen Is Dead vinyl cover
b.) Be pleasantly surprised, and get excited how the new songs will sound and what Morrissey's lyrics will reveal
c.) Fire a .44 Magnum at your record player until empty and punch the nearest loved one you can find in the face.
Question 4. - Morrissey reveals in his Autobiography that in the 90s he had a brief relationship with Jake Walters, and comes out gay, do you?...
a.) Cut off your own labia using the shards of your Vauxhall & I vinyl, crying how Morrissey has betrayed you and how he will burn and go to hell.
b.) Accept and welcome his choice and continue to admire his music regardless.
c.) Instantly call him a Limey fag who's music has gone down hill since he turned into a Limey fag. Selling off your whole Moz/Smiths back catalogue on ebay with no reserve on it.
Question 5. - Morrissey is signing his new album and book in HMV for 1 day only, do you?...
a.) Dust off the sleeping bag and start queing in the afternoon before he's due to appear, bringing a suitcase of Morrissey memerobilia and two batteries for your camera, crying at him as you film him in HD signing Kill Uncle for you.
b.) Try to go along during your dinner break and try to shake his hand and get your album signed.
c.) Fill 8 water bombs full of pig blood and ambush him whilst he's hugging a fan, only to get arrested and imprisoned for 3 months.
Question 6. - You spot Morrissey shopping with his elderly mother in Sainsburys do you?...
a.) Corner him around the delicatessen with your trolley and get him to engrave his signature on your arm using a fish knife, weeping and pulling at his trousers as he's trying to talk sense to you.
b.) Kindly tap him on the shoulder tell him how much you love his work and how much his music means to you.
c.) Shout "c***" from 50 yards away whilst he's with his mother and hide behind the baked beans, then scuttle onto Morrissey-solo and talk about how much of a twat he is the flesh.
Question 7. - Morrissey is to appear on Jonanthan Ross with an interview and 3 new tracks off his album, do you?...
a.) Record the show and create 58 different GIF's, talking about how you had a wank looking at his collar bone on the frink thread.
b.) Watch and enjoy the show, enjoying the new songs and chat on here some time after offering a balanced and consice critique.
c.) Say Jesse Tobias is a hopelessly shit guitarist and he's only in the band because he's Mexican, and call Morrissey a douche bag fag, who is abominable as a human and doesn't deserve success.
Question 8. - Morrissey announces his retirement, how do you react, do you?...
a.) Wear black for 3 months, mourning his musical decision, visiting various doctors who all tell you to take a long walk, only for you to then to develop a valium addiction.
b.) Appreciate his decision and realise he's a human who wants to do other things, but still keeping his music close to your heart.
c.) Post an 11 minute tirade on YouTube on how he should have done this years ago without tarnishing his demi-god image, repeatedly calling him a Limey fag, only to then follow Mike Joyce on Twitter.
Let's see the results then!
Mostly a.) Deluded super fan with metal tendencies, believing you are his soul-mate and eternal lover.
Mostly b.) A well balanced intelligent Moz fan.
Mostly c.) An embittered ex Moz fan who unable to just let things go.
Thanks guys!