Overwhelming sadness for no reason

[Aalborg_Mozman]

I felt like getting this off my chest, and I ended up doing it here, it seems like the least worst place to do so.

I’ll run-down my life situation, and why the above shouldn't be a problem.

I'm late 20's, recently married my girlfriend of over the last ten years. We have a baby daughter who in every way is a massive blessing.

I've got a decent education and a decent job. We live in a slightly dull area of the country, but in a nice house.

Yet often in the evenings when it is quiet, I find myself listening to Moz/Smiths even more than I used to. Not in a positive or appreciative way, but endlessly revisiting Dear God Please Help Me and alike. As long as I keep myself 110% busy with work/home/family issues, the problem isn't too great. As soon as I get a little spare time, I found myself lonely and depressed. But somehow I seem to convert this negative energy into putting even more effort in at work, so far it is going ok.

As a teenager I had very low self esteem and feared rejection greatly. As an adult it is more of a joke now, but I think the underlining issues are still there.

The catalyst for this latest series of long evenings feeling lonely was an excellent business trip I went on with a young female colleague. I would describe her as being only moderately attractive but being funny, intelligent and pleasant to talk to. Absolutely nothing happened between us on the trip, but those evenings eating out and the conversations we ha during long trips in the hire car left me feeling more emotionally stimulated than I remember being in a long while.

I symptom of my teenage condition is probably that I over-emphasize positive attention from women, even now as a married man. Clearly we can only ever be friends at best.

I guess I'm just disappointed that I really haven't moved on from a teenage emotional state in many regards. I can channel loneliness and despondency into positive energy at work and with my family, but if I'm giving anytime alone, I can easily slip back into running emotional what-if through my head time after time - did you make the decision this time?

Listening to Moz/Smiths is an exceptional help to me in these situations because the songs allow me to fully explore these emotions, and give me some sort of closure, at least up until the point at which the mood returns again.

I'm not really expecting any advice, just typing this has been therapy enough for me now.

 

[Uncleskinny]

1) Don't sweat the small stuff.

2) Hold on to your friends.

3) Be loyal.

P.

 

[Skylarker]

I felt like getting this off my chest, and I ended up doing it here, it seems like the least worst place to do so.

I’ll run-down my life situation, and why the above shouldn't be a problem.

I'm late 20's, recently married my girlfriend of over the last ten years. We have a baby daughter who in every way is a massive blessing.

I've got a decent education and a decent job. We live in a slightly dull area of the country, but in a nice house.

Yet often in the evenings when it is quiet, I find myself listening to Moz/Smiths even more than I used to. Not in a positive or appreciative way, but endlessly revisiting Dear God Please Help Me and alike. As long as I keep myself 110% busy with work/home/family issues, the problem isn't too great. As soon as I get a little spare time, I found myself lonely and depressed. But somehow I seem to convert this negative energy into putting even more effort in at work, so far it is going ok.

As a teenager I had very low self esteem and feared rejection greatly. As an adult it is more of a joke now, but I think the underlining issues are still there.

The catalyst for this latest series of long evenings feeling lonely was an excellent business trip I went on with a young female colleague. I would describe her as being only moderately attractive but being funny, intelligent and pleasant to talk to. Absolutely nothing happened between us on the trip, but those evenings eating out and the conversations we ha during long trips in the hire car left me feeling more emotionally stimulated than I remember being in a long while.

I symptom of my teenage condition is probably that I over-emphasize positive attention from women, even now as a married man. Clearly we can only ever be friends at best.

I guess I'm just disappointed that I really haven't moved on from a teenage emotional state in many regards. I can channel loneliness and despondency into positive energy at work and with my family, but if I'm giving anytime alone, I can easily slip back into running emotional what-if through my head time after time - did you make the decision this time?

Listening to Moz/Smiths is an exceptional help to me in these situations because the songs allow me to fully explore these emotions, and give me some sort of closure, at least up until the point at which the mood returns again.

I'm not really expecting any advice, just typing this has been therapy enough for me now.

Leave your wife and child. Allow yourself time to acclimate to the instinctive guilt and sea change, but then you'll see you are free and you'll be much happier.

 

[mcrickson]

I felt like getting this off my chest, and I ended up doing it here, it seems like the least worst place to do so.

Really? It does?
Huh. Personally, I can't see it. It actually seems to me to be one of the worst possible places to do so, other than perhaps spray-painting it on the side of a building somewhere. But if it's worked for you, all the more power to you, I guess.

Leave your wife and child.

 

[sad veiled bride]

I felt like getting this off my chest, and I ended up doing it here, it seems like the least worst place to do so.

I’ll run-down my life situation, and why the above shouldn't be a problem.

I'm late 20's, recently married my girlfriend of over the last ten years. We have a baby daughter who in every way is a massive blessing.

I've got a decent education and a decent job. We live in a slightly dull area of the country, but in a nice house.

Yet often in the evenings when it is quiet, I find myself listening to Moz/Smiths even more than I used to. Not in a positive or appreciative way, but endlessly revisiting Dear God Please Help Me and alike. As long as I keep myself 110% busy with work/home/family issues, the problem isn't too great. As soon as I get a little spare time, I found myself lonely and depressed. But somehow I seem to convert this negative energy into putting even more effort in at work, so far it is going ok.

As a teenager I had very low self esteem and feared rejection greatly. As an adult it is more of a joke now, but I think the underlining issues are still there.

The catalyst for this latest series of long evenings feeling lonely was an excellent business trip I went on with a young female colleague. I would describe her as being only moderately attractive but being funny, intelligent and pleasant to talk to. Absolutely nothing happened between us on the trip, but those evenings eating out and the conversations we ha during long trips in the hire car left me feeling more emotionally stimulated than I remember being in a long while.

I symptom of my teenage condition is probably that I over-emphasize positive attention from women, even now as a married man. Clearly we can only ever be friends at best.

I guess I'm just disappointed that I really haven't moved on from a teenage emotional state in many regards. I can channel loneliness and despondency into positive energy at work and with my family, but if I'm giving anytime alone, I can easily slip back into running emotional what-if through my head time after time - did you make the decision this time?

Listening to Moz/Smiths is an exceptional help to me in these situations because the songs allow me to fully explore these emotions, and give me some sort of closure, at least up until the point at which the mood returns again.

I'm not really expecting any advice, just typing this has been therapy enough for me now.

You are just the same as me...except that I'm woman. And a bit older than you which makes things worse..so sorry but no advice. It's not for no reason anyway, unhappiness is a reason itself.

 

[MORRIZSEY]

Do not take any advice from here, that could be premature, but your goal of sharing your worries is fine.
People here read posts without replying, including yours, so your feelings have been shared and aired,
and many will identify with your situation and dilemmas

 

[Skylarker]

The thing I don't get about guys like this is that they say they are depressed for no reason and then they go on to articulate all of the reasons.

I mean, I'm the most depressed goddamned person I know, but at least I don't pretend I don't know why, or make up some imaginary mental illness to hide behind, saying it's all just "chemical" or some such nonsense.

A lot of this comes from the idea that most people still maintain, which is that each individual is a "person"...a separate ego, or entity...all that shit. Alienated and divorced and different from the external world around us.

But it's simple...you're depressed? Change your environment. When you change your environment, you change yourself. But too often fear and denial get in the way. It sucks.

Telling him to leave his wife and child wasn't meant as some glib joke. He clearly is no longer invested in that reality...and how could he be? He goes out with another woman and feels free and alive, then goes back home to the same old mundane shit he's been crafting for a f***ing decade and he actually ponders why he feels let down and empty...when it's right in front of him.

f***ing silly.

Not saying it's easy...just saying.

 

[MozAngeles818]

Honestly, I think it's your environment. Not your family and such. I dont know why people would say leave them, lol.
I enjoy living in California and every once in a while, maybe once or twice every two months, I would head up to Utah.
Stay a bit with family and hang out.
I cannot help, but feel depressed there. The town is dead, everyone sleeps by 10 P.M and well, there is a two mile stretch before you see any signs of life.
Not only does it feel depressing how lonesome the place is, you also get stuck inside your own thoughts in your head.

Of course once I'm back in California, I'm not in the same state of mind.
It could be the same situation going on with you.

Take up a hobby, look for some new friends, join a gang.
Spice up your life. In no way, shape, or form should you leave your family.
That is of course if you love your wife, lol! If you don't, well, that's another story..

 

[Skylarker]

Rob a bank, or smoke crack. Just to mix it up a bit.

 

[Anonymous]

Perhaps try talking to your wife about your feelings instead of strangers? Who knows, maybe she is as bored with you as you are with her.

If you don't tell her how you are feeling, then how is she able to help change the situation and better cater to your needs?

 

[nothappynotsad]

Rob a bank, or smoke crack. Just to mix it up a bit.

This. Or maybe you could lure a stranger into a dark alley and beat them senseless?

 

[Skylarker]

This. Or maybe you could lure a stranger into a dark alley and beat them senseless?

Better to be the one getting beaten; it's a more visceral experience.

So have someone lure you.

 

[nothappynotsad]

Better to be the one getting beaten; it's a more visceral experience.

So have someone lure you.

I'm with Viva... I'm no stranger to vicious beatings.

 

[Skylarker]

I'm with Viva... I'm no stranger to vicious beatings.

I was directing it at the depressed Denmarkian, but oh, OK.

 

[nothappynotsad]

I was directing it at the depressed Denmarkian, but oh, OK.

Oh! How stupid of me! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!

 

[Skylarker]

Oh! How stupid of me! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!

At least you don't live in Denmark's bible belt.

 

[nothappynotsad]

At least you don't live in Denmark's bible belt.

At least now I have a reason to be sad.

 

[realitybites]

join a gang.

Rob a bank, or smoke crack. Just to mix it up a bit.

 

[Skylarker]

Drive was a good flick.

 

[realitybites]

Drive was a good flick.

Ya it was.