people who are worth sending christmas greetings to:

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pillow

Guest
girl drowning: i wish you a bed-time free from crumbs,i hope christmas finds you engulfed in the the bosom,

of the one you love.

morrissey the 23rd:you make me waaaaaaaarrrrrrm.so have a good one.pull up your stockings and listen to all THE SMITHS albums one after the other,dont sink too many ales,maybe santa will bring you some panties...

i wish you the wit and wisdom of our great and quiffular leader.

3/4 of a person:youre the same age as me,do you want to play tug of war with my new morrissey pillow case?

hey nonny nonny:i send you seedy greetings.thinking of you as i spend my christmas trembling beneath a bush off the M.25.

i wish you could fill me this christmas.

chloe le fay:have a happy christmas:make yourself some wrapping paper underpants and hold up your local news-agents with a broken carrot.your posts always leave me with a smile,so ill pay your prison fees.

miserable drunk[personal reasons]

mindy:reading your posts is like being raped with a hoe.
your righteous anger and flowery wrath leave me exhausted.
still, we need some one like you around.
well sometimes,
to kick against the spikes.
i hope you receive a relaxing herbal bath and a gallon jar of valium.

gender nectar: lets hope morrissey makes a nude christmas spectacular involving himself,a pot of jam and some plastic sheeting.

i hope he asks you to be chief jam spreader.i would only faint.

mr improper:you cant really be such a great heaving c***,its not humanly possible.anyone so annoying would just self destruct.
in real life you must be a gem.
if not:

BY CHRIST I HOPE YOU GET BRUTALLY SODOMISED BY A BIG BLACK DOG!
 
P

pillow

Guest
morrissey please save me from christmas.

i feel awful.

what a crock of shite.

a bedroom yule.

still its better than facing ones family.
watching them wrench apart dead animals,
shoving them in their mouths.
foul juices running down their billious faces,
fingers coated in cheese and grease and offal,

HAVE SOME! they yell,
brandishing various singed body parts,waving them under my nose like some candy treat,
HAVE SOME!
the leg and foot of some unfortunate ungulate,
HAVE SOME!
tearing the spine from a small bird and sucking off the flesh,
HAVE SOME!ITS CHRISTMAS!YOU NEED THE PROTEIN!I COOKED IT SPECIAL!IM GOING TO FORCE YOUR MOUTH OPEN!DAD GET THE SELLOTAPE...
 
3

3/4 Of A Person

Guest
I've come to wish you an Unhappy Christmas

Pillow, you doll. You do bring a smile to my face. If I was otherwise inclined, I may be tempted to marry you, but I believe it's illegal in our little inbred country. Besides, err...I'm not that way inclined. You're not following, are you, but that's quite alright. Neither am I. Futile to send Xmas wishes to you, really, but I've been playing Meat Is Murder all day. I higher the volume at the appropriate place:

And the turkey you festively slice is MURDER....
Do YOU know how animals die?

Ahem.

Merry Christmas, dear. Do keep up the writing, it seems as important to you as it does to me.
 
G

GenderNectar

Guest
Re: where did you get a morrissey pillowcase from?

They were selling them on the Oye Esteban tour. Looky:

< gender nectar: lets hope morrissey makes a nude christmas spectacular
< involving himself,a pot of jam and some plastic sheeting

Thank you kindly Pillow. That sounds lovely! *searches for the jam & plastic sheeting*


 
3

3/4 Of A Person

Guest
Ahhh, I WANT....

one of those....look at that hairy chest. Sigh. Where to purchase?
 
P

pillow

Guest
im not inclined in any direction so dont flatter yourself.

i to was playing meat is murder but horror of horrors the tape player scrambled it and i was lowered to listening to strange ways from beneath the duvet until i fell asleep and missed christmas dinner.
 
3

3/4 Of A Person

Guest
Oh, you're one of THOSE, then.

Just joking

I wasn't insinuating anything, so no need to be offended....
 
P

pillow

Guest
yes,.sadly i am.

you sound like a proper sort, a jolly good egg.proper brick etc.
i hope christmas finds you with good friends,
and not whiskery relatives spouting gin breath.

i seem to be spending it avoiding people,
as usual etc...[insert appropiate smiths quote]
and have yet to open a single gift
:)
 
3

3/4 Of A Person

Guest
Re: yes,.sadly i am.

> you sound like a proper sort, a jolly good egg.proper brick etc.
> i hope christmas finds you with good friends,
> and not whiskery relatives spouting gin breath.

> i seem to be spending it avoiding people,
> as usual etc...[insert appropiate smiths quote]
> and have yet to open a single gift
> :)

Well, not gin breath, but Guinness breath. Much the same, adds an element of 'Oirishness' to the whole debacle, really. But I endure, you know, I try. Good friends...well, I don't have too many. Just some rain-coated lo...Sorry. It's a habit, I can't stop. As for gifts, well, the only notable one I got were CD1 and CD2 of the 'There Is A Light...' re-releases from 'ol '92 from an extremely kind and generous man. Made my Christmas though, whatever that means.
 
P

pillow

Guest
a very irish christmas

dead pigs,lunatics impaling themselves on railings,st stephens green awash with vomit,santy's kingdom,drunk driving,angry souls rubbing each others faces with tarmac...

are these the things we think of when we mention the irish?

i slept through the whole ham gobbling,christ kissing,god loving farce thank heavens,

i cant stand another night on this island!

pebble dash and shrubberies and people who look at you crosseyed for wearing something colourful,
jeez,
its like theyve never seen any other hue but brown!
not to forget the arse end of nowhere,
theres nothing more frightening than those little pubs in the sticks,
crammed with tweedy-beady welly wearers.

my kingdom for a lock for the bedroom door!
 
3

3/4 Of A Person

Guest
To be sure, to be sure.

Potatoes, Guinness and Leprechauns. Ahhh, begorrah, ye have to love the Oirish, to be sure. Aren't they all alcoholics, God love them, they're either always in the pub or in mass, or out in the bog over yonder picking spuds.
 
P

pillow

Guest
no,now weve got mobiles...

weve burnt all our bogs,
and we buy potatoes from spain,
and we have coffee places with stupid names like ''moccha times''

oh morrissey rescue me!

now theres a man with taste.
 
P

pillow

Guest
its far, far worse.

groups of drunk girls dressed as cow boys,
there was a big fight in grafton street,
all these slags,

yelling,

every night the same thing:

''YAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH!!!IM YOUR FRIEND!DO YOU WANT TO BUY SOME OF THIS?''

oh and the food tastes like arse.
and it will cost you an arm a leg and your soul.

and the pubs are so loud you better bring a pen and paper,

build yourself a hibernaculum and stay inside.

i know i have.

dublin?
its not so bad once you get used to the shoving and stench.
 
D

david

Guest
Re: its far, far worse.

hmmm...I've been a few times. A few months back I nearly got run over by a bus several times, but found solace in a nice quiet pub. That was until it was invaded by an evil looking gang of sweaty drunks. I attempted to engulf them in conversation about Morrissey, but it just wasn't happening. when I overheard them talking about the "Scouse fecker" (me), I exited the place. After skilfully avoiding the sweetcorn-filled sick on the doorpost, I made my way to the nearest siops and was disgusted at the ridiculous price of cancer sticks, I expected it to be like mainand Europe.

But the place has a certain charm...plus I hear Mozz has a flat there.
 
R

REGAN OF RE

Guest
PILLOW HAS THE TIME....

> i feel awful.

> what a crock of shite.

> a bedroom yule.

> still its better than facing ones family.
> watching them wrench apart dead animals,
> shoving them in their mouths.
> foul juices running down their billious faces,
> fingers coated in cheese and grease and offal,

> HAVE SOME! they yell,
> brandishing various singed body parts,waving them under my nose like some
> candy treat,
> HAVE SOME!
> the leg and foot of some unfortunate ungulate,
> HAVE SOME!
> tearing the spine from a small bird and sucking off the flesh,
> HAVE SOME!ITS CHRISTMAS!YOU NEED THE PROTEIN!I COOKED IT SPECIAL!IM GOING
> TO FORCE YOUR MOUTH OPEN!DAD GET THE SELLOTAPE...
.....................I DONT
 
J

Johnny

Guest
Re: Ahhh, I WANT....

> one of those....look at that hairy chest. Sigh. Where to purchase?

I have one. I should really get rid of it...me being a boy and all that
 
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