post a joke

nightingale+therose

...brush me daddy-o
Re: post a joke.... go on....

Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions:thumb:

I have decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak. (ooh, sorry for that one)
 

nightingale+therose

...brush me daddy-o
Re: On a similar note:

63% of statistics are made up.
90% of men & 83% of women masturbate; 10% of men & 17% of women are liars.

I will be regaling my facebook 'friends' with your witty banter!!:thumb:

A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk,' he replies
 

Jukebox Jury

Retired
Two couples decide to go to a swinging party:horny:
After three hours of pure rampant sex, one man said to the other.....
''I wonder how the wives are getting on'':thumb:

Jukebox Jury
 

nightingale+therose

...brush me daddy-o
.... and on a cleaner (but admittedly crapper) note JJ....

Energizer Bunny arrested -- charged with battery. Happy Easter!

Ever wonder if dyslexic devil worshippers sell their souls to Santa?

A dyslexic man walks into a bra!


....no deliberate offense to dyslexic people is intended... i recognise and embrace the funny in all impairments.;)
 

Anonymous1

Nobody knows me
A bus full of ugly people crashes and everyone on board dies. Their souls ascend to the gates of Heaven where they meet God waiting for them. The Lord says to them "Since all of your lives were so miserable, I am going to grant each of you one wish before entering Paradise."
The first ugly person approaches God and says "I wish I were beautiful"
"Done" God says as the now beautiful person enters the gates.
The next person comes fourth and says "I wish I were beautiful too!"
God grants the person's wish, and then hears laughter at the back of the line. He ignores this and grants the next person's wish, which was also to become beautiful, and the laughter grows.
Everyone wishes for beauty until the last person, who is still cracking up. God picks him up and asks "And what is your wish, my child?"
The person catches his breath, and replies
"Make them all ugly again!"
 

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.
What do you get when you paint every car in America (or England) pink?

A pink carnation.

:sweet:
 

Brel

Guttersnipe
What do you call a sarcastic cowboy from Barnsley?

Tex Piss
 
Y

yesitis

Guest
what's a twip?

it's what a wabbit calls a twain wide.
 

billybu69

Junior Member
Subscriber
I have a friend who maried a ploish woman of an internet site. They're getting divorced next week, it took her two weeks to vacuum the house. It turns out she's not a pole after all but a Slovac.
 

Jukebox Jury

Retired
A friend of mine has just returned from hospital.
He had a large mole removed from his penis.
He said ''that's the last time I try shagging one of them'':eek:

Jukebox Jury
 

Jukebox Jury

Retired
A Scouser was in the job centre.
The advisor asked ''Have you done any work in the last two weeks?''
The Scouser looked at him and said ''Yeah, I painted the whole of the Forth Bridge''
''Don't take the piss'' the advisor said sternly.
''Well you started it'' said the Scouser:laughing:

Jukebox Jury
 
Y

yesitis

Guest
four levels, each level getting slightly more offensive.

your mother

is fat and ugly

and i had sex with her

corpse
 

kissmyshadestoo

Cheeky Defendant
2 fellows walking down the street see a dog licking its own testicles.

One says, "Man, I wish I could do that."

The other: "You'd better see if you can pet him first"
 
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