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The Attack on Beauty - Quillette

the problem is that she seems to think that telling a not so physically ideal kid that they're beautiful will lead to narcissism. she's forgetting that there are whole swathes of young girls who are very sensitive about the tiniest thing and that that sensitivity can turn into a paralysing force. the song she mentions, while being a stupid song, is not saying "hey you should be able to be a supermodel no matter what you look like" like she seems to be saying, it's not refuting standards of beauty (i would be the last person to do that, i love models! haha), it's saying "hey there is something in the fact of being human that means that even with flaws and all you're still beautiful and have worth". i mean, that song in my opinion is based on the premise that there are people, young girls or whoever, who need to hear that, not to make them deluded about their own fabulousness, but to correct a negative mindset that lots of young people have about themselves. and that is NOT going to lead to narcissism! but so, we're not supposed to say something that might help someone, because someone might become a little full of themselves. that person was probably going to become full of themselves ANYWAY. as an anecdote, when i was losing heaps of hair due to low ferritin, at the time i didnt know why i was losing it and was afraid that i would go bald completely and a girl at work, much young, cooler and more mature than me, said to me "who cares? you'll still be beautiful". of course i would be no such thing without hair, but the fact of just being told that, that she could say it without sounding absurd, helped immensely. it didnt lead me down a primrose path of narcissism! i mean, correcting a negative mindset and becoming a narcissist are two entirely different things, not even on the same spectrum. and also her insisting that a human person can only be beautiful according to some ideal standards i would disagree with as well. i mean, yes, there are ideal standards but there is more than one way to regard a person. i mean, for one thing a person has motion. a person is not an object, like a vase that doesnt have motion. a body in motion is a very different thing than a body at rest, and can be rendered beautiful by it's movements if they have grace or confidence or whatever. and then she's also saying that thinking we're all beautiful is somehow going to diminish the experience of real ideal beauty, which is wrong too. i spent a lot of time looking at models when i was young and the thing that they say happens when you look at models or celebrities too long and suddenly you start to judge everyone around you more harshly compared to them, the opposite of that happened! i judged people LESS harshly. because you see models with features that dont conform to the ideal standards, models with big noses and close set eyes, and asymmetric smiles, or whatever and you realize that beauty is a thing that coexists with flaws, that has it's own reality and that refuses conditions to be placed upon it, and what's more, it's generous: it doesnt care how many other people you think are beautiful, however erroneously, it doesnt become diminished, it doesnt mind being shared. anyway, that's the sort of thing i wanted to talk about (but would be much more clear and fully formed and well written and insightful if i were to take the time to actually think about! (becuase i would have a LOT to say and it's all just a jumble in my mind right now)). but no matter, im sure once i have a blog i will find endless amounts of things to write about!
 
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and also i remember my grandma once, who as ive mentioned before looked not disimilar to adolf hitler (her mother came from austria so there might be something to that), and who received no end of derogatory jibes from her kids about her looks, saying once, apropos of what i dont know, that she was beautiful. i knew she didnt mean cosmetically, i knew it was something she had no doubt read in some new age eckhardt tolle book or something like that, but i remember being astounded by the assertion, thinking it was so novel, that you could just do that, just assert the idea that you're beautiful in the face of all the evidence to the contrary. and there i was in the mirror everyday to make sure my chin matched up with my forehead because of the unfathomable implications of what that might mean about me if it didnt, and here was someone just completely overriding all the inherent implications of their features with this bold assertion, that was certainly NOT narcissism. it was a little sad that she had to do that though. i mean, looking back she was what you would call a "handsome woman" and probably didnt deserve so much criticism, but she really did look like hitler.
 
this one:

The Attack on Beauty - Quillette

the problem is that she seems to think that telling a not so physically ideal kid that they're beautiful will lead to narcissism. she's forgetting that there are whole swathes of young girls who are very sensitive about the tiniest thing and that that sensitivity can turn into a paralysing force. the song she mentions, while being a stupid song, is not saying "hey you should be able to be a supermodel no matter what you look like" like she seems to be saying, it's not refuting standards of beauty (i would be the last person to do that, i love models! haha), it's saying "hey there is something in the fact of being human that means that even with flaws and all you're still beautiful and have worth". i mean, that song in my opinion is based on the premise that there are people, young girls or whoever, who need to hear that, not to make them deluded about their own fabulousness, but to correct a negative mindset that lots of young people have about themselves. and that is NOT going to lead to narcissism! but so, we're not supposed to say something that might help someone, because someone might become a little full of themselves. that person was probably going to become full of themselves ANYWAY. as an anecdote, when i was losing heaps of hair due to low ferritin, at the time i didnt know why i was losing it and was afraid that i would go bald completely and a girl at work, much young, cooler and more mature than me, said to me "who cares? you'll still be beautiful". of course i would be no such thing without hair, but the fact of just being told that, that she could say it without sounding absurd, helped immensely. it didnt lead me down a primrose path of narcissism! i mean, correcting a negative mindset and becoming a narcissist are two entirely different things, not even on the same spectrum. and also her insisting that a human person can only be beautiful according to some ideal standards i would disagree with as well. i mean, yes, there are ideal standards but there is more than one way to regard a person. i mean, for one thing a person has motion. a person is not an object, like a vase that doesnt have motion. a body in motion is a very different thing than a body at rest, and can be rendered beautiful by it's movements if they have grace or confidence or whatever. and then she's also saying that thinking we're all beautiful is somehow going to diminish the experience of real ideal beauty, which is wrong too. i spent a lot of time looking at models when i was young and the thing that they say happens when you look at models or celebrities too long and suddenly you start to judge everyone around you more harshly compared to them, the opposite of that happened! i judged people LESS harshly. because you see models with features that dont conform to the ideal standards, models with big noses and close set eyes, and asymmetric smiles, or whatever and you realize that beauty is a thing that coexists with flaws, that has it's own reality and that refuses conditions to be placed upon it, and what's more, it's generous: it doesnt care how many other people you think are beautiful, however erroneously, it doesnt become diminished, it doesnt mind being shared. anyway, that's the sort of thing i wanted to talk about (but would be much more clear and fully formed and well written and insightful if i were to take the time to actually think about! (becuase i would have a LOT to say and it's all just a jumble in my mind right now)). but no matter, im sure once i have a blog i will find endless amounts of things to write about!

Arch, I wouldn't know what it's like to not be a perfect, flawless specimen.

I agree with you, of course. Positive reinforcement of self delusion doesn't make people narcissists. It's not a new or worrying trend either, it's just humans being courteous to one another.
 
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When I moved into this flat I was looking forward to doing my own thing. Most of the time I have done that. The cost of independence is losing out on love. Love only seems to be proffered to those who seem to most need it. I upset my mum on Thursday. She was quizzing me about my drinking and it became tiresome. She used to do the same when I was at home. She was a dinner lady at the school I went to and she was trained in spotting drug addicts. I'd come home from work and she'd be assessing me to see if I was on drugs. It upset me to feel she had such limited intelligence to think that a change in mood on my part automatically qualified me for falling into the category of being a drug user. My own mother. A training course. Limited intelligence. Anyway, when I went up on Wednesday, I'd only been there for an hour and I up and left. I'd had enough. I pretended to have a panic attack but I was just sick to death of being cross questioned. It occurred to me that I don't owe them anything and they owe me everything. These tablets are opening my eyes. I owe nothing to anyone and I am owed so much.
Just entertain yourself and you can't go wrong.
 
Today I wore a mask upon stepping outside my apartment door into the hallway. I'm playing along with the restrictions in some ways, and feel bad about it, thinking it's a trap, and with no way out. I'm afraid of consequences if I don't comply (I don't wish to say what consequences.). I'm apprehensive that I'll be ridiculed and punished for complying, on the other hand. I don't have a crystal ball, so I don't know which would be worse. I've been both, breaking the rules, on one hand, and complying on the other. I'm very disturbed by this so called pandemic. I guess our freedoms will be ebbing away, and the best thing we can do is to entertain ourselves, unless we're brave enough to protest. I'm not, though I admire those who are.
 
You could put your designs on face masks. It costs nothing to start.
Then give the money to antifa.
I'd give 30% to The Kettle Society, here in Vancouver.
 
I'm nervous about giving my info to businesses I'm unfamiliar with, but I'm interested and will look into this.
Screenshot_20201205-212325_Chrome.jpg
 
Crop your original to be just the painting and then work on stretching it to leave little to no white space. That's what those blue squares are for, to drag the image.
You could also fill in the white with your background green. Get paint dot net. It's free and easy. I don't really want a percentage but I would like to see you #GetPaid
They do coffee mugs and t-shirts too. You pay nothing and get paid when it sells. But you do have to drag that image to the edges and fill in the white. Maybe you're not done yet. And the white or a black background might work for some. Experiment.
Can't use paint.net because I'm on android.
 
To buy them myself is pricey but I might be able to break even. Of course I'll look into the option of creating an online shop with cafepress.
Screenshot_20201205-214313_Chrome.jpg
 
In Canadian dollars it'll be quite pricey, but adorable they are. Maybe people would buy them.
 
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