Republican Party Reptile

C

clownbait

Guest
Defend your man. Tell me what is not correct in this list.

1. He stole the 2000 election. Voting to "reelect" an illegitimate commander-in-chief who seized power by judicial coup d'état is a tacit endorsement of how he got into the White House in the first place. How the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in Bush v. Gore is irrelevant. As a federal court, the five runaway Supreme Court justices had no right to agree to hear the case. Under our system of government, elections--and election disputes--fall under state jurisdiction. Their decision to take the case, the way they fixed the outcome in Bush's favor, and Bush's willingness to assume the presidency extraconstitutionally are outrages that no patriotic American, even if they agree with his policies, can forgive.

2. He politicized 9/11. During the early days after the attacks on New York and Washington, a stunned nation came together to mourn, and to assess the motivations of the 19 men who despised us so much they were willing to commit suicide as mass murderers to drive home the point. Rather than channel our newfound solidarity into positive initiatives, however, Bush used 9/11 to push for the USA Patriot Act, fast-track signing authority on free trade, tax cuts for the wealthy, lax regulations for polluters and a multitude of items from the partisan Republican Party wish list. He portrayed Democrats and others who disagreed with him as un-American traitors.

3. He let the terrorists get away while giving them a payraise. The 9/11 hijackers were Egyptians and Saudis recruited by an Egyptian group, Islamic Jihad, with funding from Saudi Arabia and Pakistan, some of whom received training at camps which were mostly in Pakistan, all of which were funded by Pakistani secret intelligence. Osama bin Laden, who may have funded all or part of the operation via Al Qaeda, was in Pakistan on 9/11. So who does Bush go after? Afghanistan, at best a back lot of Pakistani-backed Islamists and Iraq--which had nothing to do with 9/11. And what does he do about our real enemies in Pakistan, Egypt and Saudi Arabia? He sells them more weapons. Egypt becomes the second largest recipient of U.S. foreign aid after Israel, collecting over $2 billion annually. Pakistan, ruled by a pro-Taliban general who jailed and tortured his democratically elected predecessor, is encouraged to develop its nascent nuclear capabilities. The 3,000 victims of 9/11 remain unavenged--and the stage is set for future attacks.

4. He murdered nearly 100,000 people. The war in Afghanistan killed at least 10,000 civilians and 20,000 Afghan soldiers (of which 10,000 were POWs allegedly massacred by Northern Alliance soldiers as U.S. Special Forces troops supervised the slaughter.) As of three weeks after the fall of Baghdad, General Tommy Franks estimated Iraqi dead at 30,000 civilians and 30,000 Iraqi soldiers, men who were fighting to defend their country from a hostile invasion army. At least 10,000 more civilians and 5,000 Iraqi resistance soldiers have died since then. Neither Afghanistan nor Iraq have anything to do with the war on terrorism, which has yet to start. Both wars were waged to expand American military and economic hegemony and Dick Cheney's policy of "total energy dominance" over oil and natural gas resources. The world would be safer if Charles Manson, a mere amateur killer by comparison, were released and Bush was sitting in prison.

5. He bankrupted the treasury. When Bush took the oath of office in January 2001, the U.S. Congressional Budget Office projected a surplus of $5 trillion over the next ten years. Now, after two expensive wars of aggression and two series of extravagant tax cuts for the ultrarich--including the elimination of inheritance taxes on multimillionaires' estates--the federal budget is facing a $5 trillion shortfall. That's a $10 trillion net deficit--ten times more than the Reagan deficit that took Clinton his entire tenure to pay off--for giveaways to Bush-connected defense contractors like Halliburton and a fraction of one percent of wealthy individuals. Most Americans will get nothing out of this but the bill which, if history serves a guide, won't be repaid until our children are dead. Goodbye national healthcare, sayonara help with college tuition. Bush has stolen our future.

6. He threw thousands of innocent people into concentration camps. Drawing from another of fascism's greatest hits, Bush used his fictional war on terrorism as a lame pretext to throw thousands of Muslims and Arabs into a new gulag archipelago spanning the globe from secret CIA-run prisons in Afghanistan and Iraq--including the infamous Abu Ghraib--to INS detention centers in Brooklyn to the naval base at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba. Detainees caught in battle were denied their Geneva Convention rights as POWs, tortured and even murdered. Illegal immigrants who should have been deported were jailed indefinitely without access to attorneys, or visits from family. In the ultimate Orwellian twist, they were turned into "unpersons"; even their names were withheld from the media. Any president who endorses such atrocities, as Bush has repeatedly done in speeches, is against everything that America purports to stands for. Bush has even signed a secret directive authorizing himself with the right to assassinate anyone, anywhere--including American citizens--as "enemy combatants."

7. We are more feared than Al Qaeda. Bush's radical new policy of "preemption"--a self-ascribed right to invade other countries based on a presumed hunch--has terrorized then international community. Even though they have never threatened us, nations like Iran and Syria wonder whether or not Bush will invade them next--and are racing to develop nuclear weapons to protect themselves from the U.S. threat. Our traditional allies, who still want to engage themselves with the rest of the world, have been forced to distance themselves from our bull-in-a-china-shop foreign policy. We, not Islamist terrorists, are the world's most feared power. We are feared, which is why we are hated. Because we are hated, we are in greater danger.

8. Bush has done nothing to improve the economy. At one of the presidential debates, Bush was asked what he would tell someone who had lost their job to outsourcing overseas. He answered that the unemployed had received their $300 tax cuts, and that within five years his education policies would start to help children. The truth is, Bush did nothing to jumpstart the weak post-dot-com economy he inherited in 2000. Like most Republicans, he favors high unemployment as a way to keep labor week and salaries cheap. A Bush victory would ensure more of the same--fewer jobs, lower salaries, reduced unemployment benefits. A president can do a lot to stimulate the economy: jobs programs funded by the government, tax cuts for the working class. But Bush won't act because it would run counter to his ideological beliefs.

9. Bush will appoint the next Supreme Court justice. Whether they're values issues like abortion or gay marriage, or the next election dispute, the Supreme Court is balanced on the razor's edge between reason and right-wing fascism. Sandra Day O'Connor and William Rehnquist, who originally intended to step down during the last four years but evidently decided not to do so because of Bush's lunacy, are over 80 years old. They may not last another four years. We can't let Bush have the chance to appoint their successors.

10. We deserve a president who can speak English and doesn't look like a chimpanzee. John Kerry is a far from ideal prospect but he's a huge leap forward from an evolutionary standpoint.
 
thanks for the list of facts. this is only a partial list of f***ed up things bush has done and stands for. I encourage anyone who is living in swing states to print it up and distribute them. hand them out, put them under windshield wipers. Or just join up with other groups. But most literature by the Democractic party is weak in bashing Bush because they need to walk that fine line of American politics. And although corporate media reports such things, it's hard to come by and it usually doesn't get the talk it deserves because they walk the same line. But we the people don't have to. Let the facts be known. These are the facts that make people like Morrissey or those in the Vote For Change tour so enthusiastic in getting Bush out of office--it's not because Kerry is the best candidate ever, it's because Bush is the most dangerous. It's the truth and nothing more. I'll be in Michigan the week before elections doing such grassroot activities.
 
> thanks for the list of facts.

If you call those "facts" you're about as dumb as a doornail.

I think clownbait's posting, to any levelp-headed reader, is self-evidently a pile of poo from a wacko. I decline replying.
 
> If you call those "facts" you're about as dumb as a doornail.

> I think clownbait's posting, to any levelp-headed reader, is
> self-evidently a pile of poo from a wacko. I decline replying.

explain how it is a "pile of poo". You decline replying because you have no defense. The only thing on there that isnt a "fact" is #10 which is a matter of opinion. So please attempt to explain how the 9 other things on that list are incorrect in anyway whatsoever.
 
> Defend your man. Tell me what is not correct in this list.

> 1. He stole the 2000 election. Voting to "reelect" an
> illegitimate commander-in-chief who seized power by judicial coup d'état
> is a tacit endorsement of how he got into the White House in the first
> place. How the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in Bush v. Gore is irrelevant. As
> a federal court, the five runaway Supreme Court justices had no right to
> agree to hear the case. Under our system of government, elections--and
> election disputes--fall under state jurisdiction. Their decision to take
> the case, the way they fixed the outcome in Bush's favor, and Bush's
> willingness to assume the presidency extraconstitutionally are outrages
> that no patriotic American, even if they agree with his policies, can
> forgive.

> 2. He politicized 9/11. During the early days after the attacks on New
> York and Washington, a stunned nation came together to mourn, and to
> assess the motivations of the 19 men who despised us so much they were
> willing to commit suicide as mass murderers to drive home the point.
> Rather than channel our newfound solidarity into positive initiatives,
> however, Bush used 9/11 to push for the USA Patriot Act, fast-track
> signing authority on free trade, tax cuts for the wealthy, lax regulations
> for polluters and a multitude of items from the partisan Republican Party
> wish list. He portrayed Democrats and others who disagreed with him as
> un-American traitors.

> 3. He let the terrorists get away while giving them a payraise. The 9/11
> hijackers were Egyptians and Saudis recruited by an Egyptian group,
> Islamic Jihad, with funding from Saudi Arabia and Pakistan, some of whom
> received training at camps which were mostly in Pakistan, all of which
> were funded by Pakistani secret intelligence. Osama bin Laden, who may
> have funded all or part of the operation via Al Qaeda, was in Pakistan on
> 9/11. So who does Bush go after? Afghanistan, at best a back lot of
> Pakistani-backed Islamists and Iraq--which had nothing to do with 9/11.
> And what does he do about our real enemies in Pakistan, Egypt and Saudi
> Arabia? He sells them more weapons. Egypt becomes the second largest
> recipient of U.S. foreign aid after Israel, collecting over $2 billion
> annually. Pakistan, ruled by a pro-Taliban general who jailed and tortured
> his democratically elected predecessor, is encouraged to develop its
> nascent nuclear capabilities. The 3,000 victims of 9/11 remain
> unavenged--and the stage is set for future attacks.

> 4. He murdered nearly 100,000 people. The war in Afghanistan killed at
> least 10,000 civilians and 20,000 Afghan soldiers (of which 10,000 were
> POWs allegedly massacred by Northern Alliance soldiers as U.S. Special
> Forces troops supervised the slaughter.) As of three weeks after the fall
> of Baghdad, General Tommy Franks estimated Iraqi dead at 30,000 civilians
> and 30,000 Iraqi soldiers, men who were fighting to defend their country
> from a hostile invasion army. At least 10,000 more civilians and 5,000
> Iraqi resistance soldiers have died since then. Neither Afghanistan nor
> Iraq have anything to do with the war on terrorism, which has yet to
> start. Both wars were waged to expand American military and economic
> hegemony and Dick Cheney's policy of "total energy dominance"
> over oil and natural gas resources. The world would be safer if Charles
> Manson, a mere amateur killer by comparison, were released and Bush was
> sitting in prison.

> 5. He bankrupted the treasury. When Bush took the oath of office in
> January 2001, the U.S. Congressional Budget Office projected a surplus of
> $5 trillion over the next ten years. Now, after two expensive wars of
> aggression and two series of extravagant tax cuts for the
> ultrarich--including the elimination of inheritance taxes on
> multimillionaires' estates--the federal budget is facing a $5 trillion
> shortfall. That's a $10 trillion net deficit--ten times more than the
> Reagan deficit that took Clinton his entire tenure to pay off--for
> giveaways to Bush-connected defense contractors like Halliburton and a
> fraction of one percent of wealthy individuals. Most Americans will get
> nothing out of this but the bill which, if history serves a guide, won't
> be repaid until our children are dead. Goodbye national healthcare,
> sayonara help with college tuition. Bush has stolen our future.

> 6. He threw thousands of innocent people into concentration camps. Drawing
> from another of fascism's greatest hits, Bush used his fictional war on
> terrorism as a lame pretext to throw thousands of Muslims and Arabs into a
> new gulag archipelago spanning the globe from secret CIA-run prisons in
> Afghanistan and Iraq--including the infamous Abu Ghraib--to INS detention
> centers in Brooklyn to the naval base at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba. Detainees
> caught in battle were denied their Geneva Convention rights as POWs,
> tortured and even murdered. Illegal immigrants who should have been
> deported were jailed indefinitely without access to attorneys, or visits
> from family. In the ultimate Orwellian twist, they were turned into
> "unpersons"; even their names were withheld from the media. Any
> president who endorses such atrocities, as Bush has repeatedly done in
> speeches, is against everything that America purports to stands for. Bush
> has even signed a secret directive authorizing himself with the right to
> assassinate anyone, anywhere--including American citizens--as "enemy
> combatants."

> 7. We are more feared than Al Qaeda. Bush's radical new policy of
> "preemption"--a self-ascribed right to invade other countries
> based on a presumed hunch--has terrorized then international community.
> Even though they have never threatened us, nations like Iran and Syria
> wonder whether or not Bush will invade them next--and are racing to
> develop nuclear weapons to protect themselves from the U.S. threat. Our
> traditional allies, who still want to engage themselves with the rest of
> the world, have been forced to distance themselves from our
> bull-in-a-china-shop foreign policy. We, not Islamist terrorists, are the
> world's most feared power. We are feared, which is why we are hated.
> Because we are hated, we are in greater danger.

> 8. Bush has done nothing to improve the economy. At one of the
> presidential debates, Bush was asked what he would tell someone who had
> lost their job to outsourcing overseas. He answered that the unemployed
> had received their $300 tax cuts, and that within five years his education
> policies would start to help children. The truth is, Bush did nothing to
> jumpstart the weak post-dot-com economy he inherited in 2000. Like most
> Republicans, he favors high unemployment as a way to keep labor week and
> salaries cheap. A Bush victory would ensure more of the same--fewer jobs,
> lower salaries, reduced unemployment benefits. A president can do a lot to
> stimulate the economy: jobs programs funded by the government, tax cuts
> for the working class. But Bush won't act because it would run counter to
> his ideological beliefs.

> 9. Bush will appoint the next Supreme Court justice. Whether they're
> values issues like abortion or gay marriage, or the next election dispute,
> the Supreme Court is balanced on the razor's edge between reason and
> right-wing fascism. Sandra Day O'Connor and William Rehnquist, who
> originally intended to step down during the last four years but evidently
> decided not to do so because of Bush's lunacy, are over 80 years old. They
> may not last another four years. We can't let Bush have the chance to
> appoint their successors.

> 10. We deserve a president who can speak English and doesn't look like a
> chimpanzee. John Kerry is a far from ideal prospect but he's a huge leap
> forward from an evolutionary standpoint.
Clownbait, massive applause. That was a very well written and so very true. I shudder to think of another four years with that murderer. Anyway, very well thought out and very well written. Well done.
 
> explain how it is a "pile of poo". You decline replying because
> you have no defense. The only thing on there that isnt a "fact"
> is #10 which is a matter of opinion. So please attempt to explain how the
> 9 other things on that list are incorrect in anyway whatsoever.

Nice of you to point out that #10 is mere opinion (I stopped reading before I got there so I don't know what it said). The only FACT, however, is that you wrote a completely ideological bunch of crap there.
 
> Nice of you to point out that #10 is mere opinion (I stopped reading
> before I got there so I don't know what it said). The only FACT, however,
> is that you wrote a completely ideological bunch of crap there.

ok. how so?
 
> ok. how so?

I stopped reading when I saw you claim Bush "stole" an election and "murdered" people. Now move along, I don't feel like debating things with a Michael-Moron. You know you're a Michael-Moron, I know you're a Michael-Moron, you're happy being a Michael-Moron, and you should be treated accordingly. Michael-Morons do not deserve my time. Maybe someone else will indulge you. I've done enough damage to this board for one day. I must go get drunk and mourn those 4 geese Kerry killed. Has he left Ohio yet? Has he stopped gunning down the animals in my state for jack-ass photo-ops?????????

I went golfing today and ran into some Canadian geese on the course. I pledged to them that I would vote for BUSH, and they honked with glee.
Or maybe they were honking in ridicule at my completely whiffed drive on the 5th tee, I'm not sure. But goosies, for you fellas I'm voting BUSH. I am a single issue voter now, and there's no talking me out of it. Thank you and goodnight.
 
Republican Party Reptiles do not fear Democrats in the White House.

> Prepare for your state to go to a democrat.

Truth be told, I think Kerry has a good chance of winning Ohio. Their last-minute registration drive was more successful than the Republicans', and I'm not sure if that is showing up in the polling. And those George Soros funded America Coming Together douchebags seem to be harassing people non-stop. And, also, there are counties of Ohio where the Democrat machine gets away with as much voter fraud as Cook County, ILL.

But you know what? Unlike you guys and your doom and gloom fear-mongering, I don't think the world is gonna end if the candidate I dislike wins it. So I have nothing to prepare for. I'll wake up the next morning, scratch my balls, and the sky will not have fallen. You're the ones living in a state of fear and irrationality, saying we'll wind up in Nazi Germany if Bush wins.

I'm old enough to know that the head of the executive branch of the federal government is powerful but his office's power is severely limited and put in check. Our whole system was set up to prevent radical, overnight change from occuring without a national consensus. Not only do Republican Party Reptiles not fear a Democrat in the White House, recent history with Clinton proves we have a lot of fun when that happens, and we also get more of what we want than the other side does (welfare reform could only have happened with a Democrat prez).

It is first and foremost for the people of Iraq that I pray Bush wins, because even tough Kerry pledges to finish the job, I visit enough lefty web sites to know they are planning to put the pressure on a Kerry White House from day one to get us pulled out. I'll still have my nice life if Kerry wins, but Kerry may not have the backbone to tough it out for Iraq democracy.

For the Iraqi people, this is very high stakes. For a Republican Party Reptile in Ohio, I'll be worried by the obvious fact that a Kerry win will (for the very short term) encourage our enemies, and I'll be worried that Kerry doesn't seem to fully digest we are in a war, and I'll be annoyed that Social Security reform will be put on hold, but I'll just try and make the best of it as I watch the Democrats having to finally be serious about our nation's security. Which would of course lead to the Michael Moron wing of the Democrat Party being firmly kicked back to the fringe. There's always a silver lining.

But as it stands now, Bush is up in almost all the polls, so those of you who have pledged to leave the country if Bush wins might wanna start checking internet sites for prices on your flights......
 
In fact, GOP Reptiles often vote for Democrats themselves.Just not New England socialists
 
"Michael Moron"? You didn't even see the movie, Oaf.
 
BUSH implanted the fear in their heads. Wake up you Dumbass!

Heightened state of alert.

Code Orange

Terrorists WILL attack again.

etc

etc

etc

Bush and the media pumped the masses full of fear. That's how you keep the people in line, keep them scared.
 
Re: In fact, GOP Reptiles often vote for Democrats themselves.Just not New England socialists

That is right, Reptile --unfortunately, the last great Democrat is no longer eligible for reelection.




pic218974.jpg
 
Re: In fact, GOP Reptiles often vote for Democrats themselves.Just not New England socialists

> That is right, Reptile --unfortunately, the last great Democrat is no
> longer eligible for reelection.
this is very true. Beam me up Mr. Speaker.
 
No, I don't care for corrupt democrats

> That is right, Reptile --unfortunately, the last great Democrat is no
> longer eligible for reelection.

Yuck, he was an embarassment.

The funny thing is, there's this shopping mall developer millionaire who pled guilty a few years ago for bribing Traficant. He failed in buying a congressman, so now he's using his 26 year old daughter to try and buy a SEAT in congress. His daughter is Capri Cafaro, and she's using daddy's wealth to try and unseat one of the only repulicans in the area. She'd be the youngest woman ever in congress. During the Traficant corruption stuff, she was apparently granted immunity by prosecutors, but she refuses to say why she had to be granted immunity.

Those democrats, so corrupt....
 
It's clearly the democrats who are fear-mongering

See William Safire's column from last week for the evidence.

I don't have a problem with being warned about terror plots. Bush has prevented all terrorist attacks on American soil since 9/11.

One of which was a plot to blow up an Ohio shopping mall, if you recall.
I see now, over at www.powerlineblog.com , that among the thousands of phoney voter registrations from democrats in Ohio, they even registered the name of one of the illegal aliens who was behind the plot to blow up that shopping mall.

Democrats - how low will they go?
 
I did see it, & without giving Moron my money.

You think I'd miss out on seeing all the kooks at that movie? I was there pening week, at Valley View theater. Of course I bought a ticket for Spider Man 2 and then walked into F9/11, to ensure Michael Moron didn't get any of my easily earned money.

And unlike democrats who are doing everything they can to trample on freedom of speech from those they disagree with, no one stopped F9/11 from being shown. Instead it was debunked in the marketplace of ideas.
 
Re: No, I don't care for corrupt democrats

I dont know about that, Reptile. He engaged in conservative populism AND through his conviction embarassed Democrats...what more could you want?!

A few of his notorious one-minute speech for your delectation:

TAXPAYERS ARE STILL TAXED OFF
May 12, 1999
Mr. Speaker, we have taxes on income, death, gifts, investment, fuel and energy, capital gains. We have excise taxes, surtaxes, retroactive taxes, old taxes, new taxes. Unbelievable. Is it any wonder the American people are taxed off?
I say today, tax this. It is time to abolish the IRS, abolish income taxes and pass the National Retail Sales Tax Plan. It is time to reward work and savings for a change. Think about that.
I yield back what freedom and liberty we have left as taxpayers

THE EPA HAS GOTTEN OUT OF HAND
November 05, 1999
Mr. Speaker, in 1995, the EPA came crying to Congress saying they needed more money to clean up our air and our water and our Superfund sites. Shortly after that appeal for cash, records show that the EPA gave a $160,000 grant to facilitate wind energy technologies in China. Unbelievable. While American taxpayers are busting their buns to pay the bill around here, the EPA gave our hard-earned taxpayer dollars for projects in China.
Mr. Speaker, this is out of hand. Electric bicycle technology, wind energy technology, American taxpayer dollars? The EPA should be handcuffed.
Beam me up.
I yield back all the flatulence in China paid for by the EPA

NEW WORLD BILL COLLECTORS
September 22, 1999
Mr. Speaker, the U.N. says we owe them a billion dollars and if we do not pay we will lose our vote. The U.N. also said they accepted three new member countries. All three are smaller than the hometowns of my colleagues. One has 8,000 people.
Now, if that is not enough to tax our peacekeeping, check this out. These three countries will have three votes. We will still have one vote.
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. The truth is the United Nations owes Uncle Sam $6 billion for saving their international assets year in and year out.
I say it is time for Congress to tell these New World bill collectors to shove their debt up their charter. Think about that.
I yield back the big vote we will lose at the United Nations.

AMERICA SHOULD GUARD AMERICAN BORDERS
June 8, 1999
Mr. Speaker, 90 percent of all crime in America is drug related. Eighty percent of all heroin, 80 percent of all cocaine comes across the Mexican border. To boot, only three out of every 100 trucks coming from Mexico are even inspected.
It is so bad, experts now admit it is even possible for terrorists to smuggle nuclear weapons across our border. And after all this, the White House wants to send 7,000 American soldiers to guard the borders of Yugoslavia.
Beam me up here. Europe should be guarding the borders of Europe and Yugoslavia. America should be guarding the borders of America for the American people. Think about that.
I yield back this weak and foolish national security policy we have in place.

CRIMINALS HAVE MORE RIGHTS THAN LAW-ABIDING CITIZENS
November 09, 1999
Mr. Speaker, a Minnesota factory worker said, enough is enough. His cabin was ripped off three times. His neighbors' cabins continue to be ripped off. The police said they could do nothing.
So Lenny Miller booby-trapped his cabin and busted the burglar red-handed. And guess what? Some bust. Lenny Miller is going to jail with a $12,000 fine. And the burglar is getting free healthcare.
Beam me up. Something is wrong, Mr. Speaker, when Americans cannot protect their own property and when criminals have more rights than law-abiding citizens.
There is one bright side. I yield back the fact that in Wisconsin there will not be many cabins ripped off this year thanks to Lenny Miller.

RATIO OF ACCIDENTAL MEDICAL DEATHS TO ACCIDENTAL GUN DEATHS
April 04, 2000
Mr. Speaker, something does not add up, the number of accidental deaths involving guns average 1,500 per year; and the number of accidental deaths caused by doctors, surgeons, and hospitals average 120,000 a year, 120,000 per year. That means the ratio of accidental medical-related deaths to accidental gun deaths is 80 to 1, 80 times more possible of being killed accidentally by a doctor than a gun.
Tell me, Mr. Speaker, should we mandate a 5-day waiting period on vasectomies?
Beam me up. Congress does not need more gun laws; America must enforce the laws that we have.
I yield back all the American lives saved by an honest law-abiding American who just happened to have a gun

ONLY IN AMERICA, ONLY IN AMERICA
April 05, 2000
Mr. Speaker, today Congress will debate two bills. The first bill is partial birth abortions. The second bill is wildlife and sport fish restoration.
Unbelievable. Kill the babies but save the trout and the tit mouse. Beam me up. In fact, beam me up, Scotty.
See, I believe that Congress and America can and should save both the babies and the wildlife. Think about it.
I yield back an old street saying: Only in America, Mr. Speaker.

THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES
October 5, 2000
Broadway has announced a new play called `The Vagina Monologues.' I quote, the promo states that `Vagina Monologues uses humor and drama to explore such things as sexual fantasies, orgasms, pelvic examinations and rape.' Now if that is not enough to entice your condominium, this vaginal virtuoso is being billed as theater at its finest.
Unbelievable. What is next? Rectal Diaries? Men are dropping like flies in America from prostate cancer and Broadway is promoting vaginal titillation.
Beam me up. I advise all New York men to sleep on their stomachs, and I yield back all the STDs on the East Coast.

ABOLISH THE IRS
May 1, 2001
Mr. Speaker, a government investigation said that the IRS gave, quote-unquote, wrong information 50 percent of the time. In addition, they say one-third of all calls to the IRS go unanswered.
Unbelievable. According to my math, the IRS is upside down about 80 percent of the time. If that is not enough to give your 1040 a hernia, the IRS says, give us more money and we will solve our problems. Beam me up. The IRS does not need more money. Congress has got to abolish the IRS.
A recent national poll says 70 percent of American taxpayers favor the Tauzin-Traficant 15 percent national sales tax. No more forms, no more tax on capital gains, savings, investment, education, inheritance. Think about it. And the IRS is abolished.
I yield back those stumbling, fumbling, bumbling, nincompoops at the IRS

WHITE HOUSE NOT ONLY INSTITUTION TRASHED
January 31, 2001
Mr. Speaker, graffiti on the walls, furniture destroyed, doors glued shut, garbage in refrigerators. Sounds like Animal House, but I am talking about the Clinton White House. Now if that is not enough to wax your windows, former President Clinton has said, and I quote, he wants "a complete and thorough investigation into this crime at the White House." Beam me up.
This is the same President that wanted no investigation into Chinese Communist cash being funneled to the Democrat National Committee, and we let him get away with it. Unbelievable.
Mr. Speaker, the White House was not the only American institution that was trashed. The Clinton administration not only trashed, they shredded our Constitution.
I yield back the garbage at the former Clinton White House

UNISEX RESTROOMS, WHAT IS NEXT?
June 12, 2001
Mr. Speaker, last week a girl was crowned prom king in Washington. This week we learn a whole new classification term for men and women: Transgenders. That is right, transgenders. Ohio University has designated 30 restrooms as transgender-type restrooms, able to be used by both men and women at the same time.
They are officially called unisex restrooms. Unbelievable. What is next? Unisex locker rooms with thong/jock support dispensers? How about Maxipad vending machines in locker rooms? Beam me up.
I yield back this higher education business as yet simply getting high.

CONDOMS SUBJECT TO MILITARY SCRUTINY
May 7, 1997
Mr. Speaker, even though the Pentagon is cutting costs and talented officers are being forced out, the Pentagon spent $90,000 last year to study condom preference and the failure rates of condoms in the military.
If that is not enough to kill your rabbit, the Pentagon still does not know if a Patriot missile can stop the Silkworm, but they know for sure which condom can save the Republic. What is next, Mr. Speaker, a $100,000 study to find out if soldiers prefer boxer shorts over briefs? If women in the military prefer Maidenform over Wonder Bra?
Beam me up. I say with this study the Pentagon has reached the apex of their condominium. There is no budget crisis in the District of Columbia. There is a common sense crisis in the District of Columbia.
I yield back the balance of any heretofore untested condoms still subject to military scrutiny.

FLORIDA FIXES THEIR ELECTRIC CHAIR
March 31, 1998
Mr. Speaker, Daniel Remeya said he killed people for the fun of it. In 1985 he killed a clerk for $50. Two days later he killed a grocery clerk. Two days after that he killed a restaurant manager. That same day he killed two repair men, my colleagues. Now, after all that his attorneys said Florida's electric chair does not work properly, constituting cruel and unusual punishment, therefore Remeya should be spared.
Beam me up.
I want to commend Florida for, No. 1, fixing their electric chair; and, No. 2, for using the electric chair on this creep who killed innocent victims for the fun of it.
Good night, sweet prince.
I say one last thing, Congress. An America that gives murderers three square meals, a roof and a law library is an America that will continue to have mass murderers. I yield back all the carnage in our cities.

AMERICAN SOVEREIGNTY
July 22, 1998
Mr. Speaker, the World Bank makes loans to communists with American dollars. The World Trade Organization regularly rips us off. The United Nations sends American troops into war. That is right. We are not sending the Peace Corps here, folks.
If that is not enough to compromise your Viagra, the United Nations has created a world court with universal authority and jurisdiction. Unbelievable. What is next, a world tax? Beam me up.
I say the Constitution of the United States should not be surrendered to a bunch of international bureaucrats who regularly rule against us, ladies and gentlemen.
Now, I do not know about you, but I did not pledge an oath to the charter of the United Nations. I pledged an oath to the Constitution of the United States and I think the Congress of the United States should put its foot down before we become known as background music in some doctor's office. I yield back any courage we have left
 
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