The My f*** Life Thread

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.
My love life summed up by a Jack Russell Terrier:

 
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I was going to save this for May 22nd but I just can't contain the passion any longer, babes.

 
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Be right back guys, gotta go do something. (No JK already did that today.)
 
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My vagina needs a rest.
 
Mother Nature said I can't come out and play anymore today. My neighbor told me a cop was killed in a car crash in front of the parking lot this afternoon I sat in the car and had breakfast in and then she saw a woman get run over by a car in front of Wal Mart on the way home today. I gave her a Reece's Peanut Butter cup as consolation for her horrible day. :o

I can't deal with the second sentence that needs editing.
 
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My boss is taking me to Yankee Candle at the Arcadia Mall to get me some spring-themed oil burners for my house in five minutes. Yay. Don't be jelly. It's going to be so much fun.
 
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