mood: just opened a bottle of Jameson, so you tell me?
music: Skylar Grey, someone turned me onto her stuff a few days ago
What can I say, it was a crazy night, the barrage of fireworks lit up the sky and streets for hours on end, I have not heard or seen anything like it since the "Gulf War". Yes, I woke up screaming late in the night, dreaming of shooting people in green light and seeing explosions dulled to a faded green by my thermal sight, luckily someone was there to hold me and for once I let them, if only I had learned to do that years ago, but there are dreams that cannot be, anyways, on to a month of music
Discovered Rainbow Arabia about a month ago, really like them, I've always really liked music which is all over the place and this band fits that perfectly. I think Nick Cave is only number one because been playing him a lot since the uhh, "incident".
Eagles seem to have become one of my go to bands when I am drinking, don't know what that means. A lot of nerdy stuff on there too, mainly played in the morning to wake me up. Now on to the songs:
Interesting, I knew I felt a real connection to that rap song, but did not know it was by far the song I played the most last month. "Far From Any Road" getting some play too and also inspiring the playing of Nick Cave, I suppose I am re-examining some of the darker stuff still within me. There is a fine line, for some of us, between being brave and just being mean.
Speaking of which, so been at loose ends for a while since S. went home to visit her family for the vacation. We had a good night before she left, but I knew she had wanted me to go with her and I just could not bring myself to do it. Also, I knew that her ex, the guy her family wanted her to marry would be there, I am so not ready for that. Not that any of that makes up for what I have been up to since she's been gone, I just don't like being alone and L. was there. I know what part of me thinks I should do when S. gets back but you know what?
Out of sight, out of mind, right?
And since I may be going from Chengdu by summer, then why rock the boat?
All this I am only able to say by typing, the truth is, I feel real guilty and think am really no good about lying about this stuff. Perhaps it is just best to make a clean break when she gets back. Fact is I am not serious "relationship" material and may never be. Thats just the way it is...
ps: got to get up early to watch the Superbowl in a Western bar, so the bottle will help me get to bed early tonight, even 3 nights after "CNY" there is still fireworks going off in the middle of the night
as for the game itself, just going more for the experience of seeing a bunch of other foreigners watching it, possibly explaining the rules to a few