Another year has begun and here we still are.The meds have been upped and here we are.Maybe I should give the higher dose a chance to kick in.I feel like deep,deep down in my heart I have given up.I`ve given up the chance to have a somewhat normal life.I will never have the kids the partner,husband,wife.I guess that`s what you get when you`ve never tried because you`re so afraid of getting hurt or rejected.I`ve also never tried because I`ve never felt good enough for anyone.Why try if you think no one will like you .It`s lonely here and it`s all my fault that I am here. I just feel like it`s all so hopeless.I`ve tried this med and that pill .I`ve tried therapy.I`m still f****ing here.What the f do I need to do?I`m a freaking mess.My life has been wasted because of this.I`ve scarred my body because of this.I feel like there`s no hope for me anymore.I`m scared. I don`t know what to do anymore.