Loving this autumn weather…it makes me so sleepy.

Is a lot of money isn’t it?
This might very well explain why my friend’s not dropped a dime in (to phone me) as of late, eh??

Perhaps.

My Martini Mate phoned me with the nastiest attitude just now. She called to Bitch about her phone bill – I knew this was coming : ) About 25 days ago, she had me over for a little “painting party”. I gave up an entire weekend to help her give her place a face lift.

Well I sort of forgot to mention that I used her tel to make a call... a very long distance one : ) What ever. So, I took a few minutes to phone my dear friend over the pond. WELL… I promised my friend a call on that day, so….
So, anyhoo, here we are 25 days and 75 dollars later.

I’m paying for the call, so I don’t know wot she's got 'er knickers in knots about.

                                                      jeez!

Today, I feel drained...I’m so tired. I got those throbbing cramps in the middle of the night again. Always at around 3AM. It’s to the point now, where I can feel the dizzy spells coming on…

I’m usually awakened by this sharp abdominal pain, then the second I get up the symptoms instantly change to a series of cramps or contractions (well, that’s what I imagine contractions are like, but what do I know, I’ve never given birth : ) then comes the high fever, shivering cold sweats, and nausea…The air becomes thick and I’m gasping, as I’m unable to breath.

I crawled my way into the bathroom (again). I splashed water on my face – it didn’t help – it was getting worse, I felt really faint, so I searched for rubbing alcohol to sniff (don’t ask, but it helps) This is the worst part, as I feel I’m slipping – I don’t know what’s happening to me. It’s absolutely terrifying. So, I cry (sometimes out for my mother) and pray for it to be over. *god*

I throw my virtually lifeless-self into the tub and run the freezing cold water (P.J.’s and all) … This always brings me back, though, every episode does feel as if it will be the last.

::::::::::::::::: Thursday, 06 November :::::::::::::::::::

6 PMish ... After another long and shitty day at the office, the gals and I decided to out for a bevy. So we hit Applebee's for a night of cheese sticks and Perfect Margaritas!! Well, I started off with Sky Blue Martini's then moved on the sweet and sour Mexican ice blend!!! God, it was a cocktail oasis!!! Yummy!! We got the goods on the latest office chatty talk and scandals, told pigish jokes, and laughed like nobody's business!! It was such a good time - therapy for my sinful soul - we should make it a weekly ritual.

9 PM / 10 PM / 11 PM ... NOT TELLING

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Today :::::::::::::::::::::

~ Got up late.
~ On my way to work I listened to a gig from the Oye Esteban tour that G and I went to. Aaah Sweet Memories.
~ Was in 15 minutes late this morning.
~ Chatted with "U Know Who" for a few.
~ Went for a walk to Clarks Deli for a round of Mango Smoothies.
~ Very Kickback day at the office... havent done a thing yet. Maybe, I'll order supplies.
~ Phoned "U Know Who" - It seemed like if we hadn't spoken in days (god, it was only a day or two : ) Did the ol' man really say I was a nice girl??? Prob. not - " Mr. U Know Who" tends to lie a lot : ) hee hee : ) but at any rate, it was so nice to hear his lovely voice again. Moi..sick of you, darling?? Never!!!
~ Busy doing nothing
~ Ordered Supplies
~ Went to M-S and Voila.....

::::::::::::::::::::::::: Tonight ::::::::::::::::::::::::

What time is it anyway?

6ish? ... Wrapping things up here, then I'm off to god knows where, to do god knows what.

....will let you know, but only if - you're really interested!!

                                                                Always,
                                                                                Yours
                                                                                              Truly

Unbelievable!! Mr. Guy and I …BUSTED by his comatose girlfriend. Ha Ha!!

It’s been forever since we hung-out together, and last night he was working the very kickback late night shift, so he suggested that I swing by to hangout and keep him company…. Just like old times.

So, I went. It was so weird at first – the small talk was totally awkward. I was totally uncomfortable and kept asking myself what I was doing there. And I think it’s because I was finally in my right mind and no longer had all these crazy erratic feelings. I was no longer the emotional wreck I used to be. I’m cured… HuRRaY!

So apart from the conversation being a bit lame, I’d say the nite went okay.
I think this visit was a test for me, as before last night, I wasn’t exactly 100 percent sure about how I truly felt. But last night I realized how much I really do care for him. I love him in a very spiritual way. I loved being there and was so happy to see him, but there's no question that the light inside me has dimmed.

I asked him if “SHE” ever pops in by surprise to check up on him on those late Wednesday nights. He jokingly said “nah, but I’m sure she will tonight, just because.” I had this funny feeling that this would be the night, that I see her face to face. So all night, I was kinda keeping an eye out for Dogzilla (yeah, she’s pretty atrocious) Well, I swear, not even five minutes after we joked about her popping up - SHE DID!!

It was the funniest thing ever… we totally panicked as if we were doing something wrong, but we really weren't… it was totally innocent. Anyway, after seeing the stunned look on her face, I though it would be best for me to leave. So I did.

I’m dying to know what happened after I left. Finding her boyfriend with his ex-fiance at his place of business at one in the morning must have been devastating for her. I’d have gone ballistic. How’d he get himself out of this one? I wonder.

- Susie Home Wrecker

I can not believe that it has taken Mister Guy over a year to discover my journal. Well, I knew it would only be a matter of time.

So yeah, after two months or so…I called. Well, yesterday was his b-day, so I called to wish him a happy one. I couldn’t pretend that I didn’t remember it - I’m just not that heartless. Well, I called and played a little prank on him…He didn’t get it – so he hung up on me. So, I called again today to tell him it was me who called last night.

I know phone pranks are soo junior high school, but I look at it as payback for the time he registered me for the MISS TEEN USA pageant when we were in high school.

Anyway, we had quite a nice chat. I was totally taken back by the very casual mentioning of my journal. “Oh yeah, I was on Moz-solo the other night and I must say I found your journal(s) quite interesting.” My heart dropped strait to the floor.

I don’t know what to do. I’m thinking about deleting all of my entries. At this point, I don’t think he’s read them all and I’m afraid some of my earlier entries could be incredibly damaging to our (already rocky) relationship.

I dont know why I even give a rats tail about it, really. I'm too nice. Soo many of my entries have never seen the light of day because I wanted to spare a person of (hurt) feelings.

Since I'm between Boyfriends at the mo... I will say what I very damn well please - to hell with censorship and such...if an EX Boyfriend or a Budding Beau want take what I say to the bum, so be it.

Signed,
Yours Very Truly

Chatting with strangers (esp. those of the opposite sexiness) always gets me in trouble...

All this talk about Lady Gaz’ Birthday tomorrow reminds me that Mister Guy’s is right around the corner – The 4th of November. We always celebrated their b-days together, so this year it will be weird not having the big lug around.

I’d say that’s clearly been the case over the past month. Wow, I can't believe it's nearly been a month.

Anyhoo, I ran into him TWICE last week and now I’m left wondering. But I know he is too.
Ha! Ya should have seen the look on his face - both times… Like if he’d seen a ghost.

Yeah, after our last encounter, I pretty much fell off the face of the earth.
Well, it was nice and we had the time of our lives chatting and listening to classic rock tunes over a few pints of New Castle. I really was having a good time but it was soo not the same…not even as “friends”. God, I won’t even get into how I was constantly checking my watch and dying for the night to end… nah! But it's true... I just wasnt there.

Like I was telling Mozgirl...God, what was I telling Mozgirl???

I'm tired...nevermind.

                                                  Ever Yours
                                                          LM