Any one got a funny joke thread

lovemorrissey

Now My Heart is Full
"A man walks into a chemist and says to the girl behind the counter-

Can I have 149 condoms please??

She says - "F*ck Me!!!"

He says - ok make that 150 then!

Haha, someone just told me that at work and thought it was funny!
 
Not a joke but a very funny article making cruel fun of fans at an Fanime. Did you guess that was an anime convention? The pictures are the best part.

5.jpg
 
How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?
none, vegans don't change anything...
 
A baby seal walks into a club.
 
Are you all familiar with Dead Baby jokes?

Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road?
A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.
 
What's the best thing about Twenty Eight Year Olds?







There's Twenty of them.....
 
an englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walk into a bar.
the barman says, "whats this, some sort of joke?"
 
Two rhinos have been drinking at the same waterhole every morning for twenty years.One day,one says "Do you realise we've been drinking at the same waterhole for twenty years and I don't even know your name?".The other replies "My name's Henry..what's yours?".The first rhino replies "Neal",The second rhino says.."not rhino neal?"

I used to love that Joke



A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. He thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.


Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.
He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.


"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.


"They're mating," her father replied.


"What do you call the spider on top?" she asked.



"That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.


"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.


As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question, he replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."


The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, Then took her foot and stomped them flat and said, "Well, we're not having any of that Brokeback-Mountain **** in our garden."
 
A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. He thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.


Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.
He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.


"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.


"They're mating," her father replied.


"What do you call the spider on top?" she asked.



"That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.


"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.


As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question, he replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."


The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, Then took her foot and stomped them flat and said, "Well, we're not having any of that Brokeback-Mountain **** in our garden."

HAAAAAAAAAAAA! I love that! :D
 
That second one is very funny. :D

It's not really a joke but my immature friends and I play a game wherein we change movie titles around and insert the word "penis" into them. It can be quite funny late in the evening when you are tired. :D

League of Extraordinary Penises.
 
Laughing at homosexuality and creature murder is offensive to me.
Please stop it or 'the man' will be told.
 
Umm, Twister? ;)

James and the Giant Penis
 
Back
Top Bottom