Five questions for Uncle Mozzer

sarahT

Senior Member
If you were granted an audience with Morrissey and you could ask him five questions of which you were guaranteed an answer,
What what five questions would you ask of him?
Five questions, no more, no less.
 
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1. who?
2. what?
3. when?
4 why?
5. how?
 
1.When are you coming back to Australia?
2.Why don't you love Australia more?
3.Don't you know that Australians love you?
4.If it's a question of money then you could always save on lavish hotels and I'll put you up in the spare bedroom if you would like?
5. U2 suck don't they?
 
-What is your favorite note to sing, or to hear played on an instrument? I realize you could hardly pick just one, but pretend that you could? Or maybe tell me 2 or 3 favorites.

-Excluding yourself, who is the most physically beautiful person who has ever lived?

-Of whom are you jealous?

-In your darkest and most depressed moments, did you ever just think 'f*** it' and eat meat?

-Will you remember me?

The first 3 I sent into NME.

xo, math+


[edited to change 'tell us' to 'tell me']
 
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Oh, I would prefer to condense all five into the only one worth asking, which isn't so much a question, but an imperative (delivered half-way through the motions of leaving the room, frustrated): "Tell us, without wit or formulation, exactly where it hurts." (I leave, slamming the door (well expected, rehearsed) behind me).
 
Math Tinder said:
-Excluding yourself, who is the most physically beautiful person who has ever lived?

-Of whom are you jealous?

-In your darkest and most depressed moments, did you ever just think 'f*** it' and eat meat?

xo, math+

Damn, I really really like those three questions. Especially the second one. And the shitty thing is: he'll never answer them. But I could do that job at least for No. 3: "No" (even - !very unlikely! - if the answer had to be yes, of course. f*** honesty, he's a role-model!)
 
Pokey said:
1.When are you coming back to Australia?
2.Why don't you love Australia more?
3.Don't you know that Australians love you?
4.If it's a question of money then you could always save on lavish hotels and I'll put you up in the spare bedroom if you would like?
5. U2 suck don't they?

LOL very funny
 
Boro_Morrissey said:
LOL very funny
Yes well, 1. Why don't you come down here,(Melbourne) Mr. Morrissey?
2. If you only had one week to live, how would you spend it?
3. Would you like to try these on now, and if so do you need assistance?
4. Do you like avocado?
5. Would you like a massage, right now?
 
Codreanu said:
Oh, I would prefer to condense all five into the only one worth asking, which isn't so much a question, but an imperative (delivered half-way through the motions of leaving the room, frustrated): "Tell us, without wit or formulation, exactly where it hurts." (I leave, slamming the door (well expected, rehearsed) behind me).


HA! Still laughing :p
 
1. Why isn't Ringleader of the Tormentors as good an album as Fundamental by the Pet Shop Boys?
2. Exactly how much better is Fundamental than Ringleader of the Tormentors?
3. How come the Pet Shop Boys have managed to create quite possibly the best album of their career after 20 years in the business, and you gave us You Are The Quarry: Mk II?
4. Ever thought of asking to join the Pet Shop Boys?
5. What colour is Thursday?
 
mauve21 said:
Yes well, 1. Why don't you come down here,(Melbourne) Mr. Morrissey?
2. If you only had one week to live, how would you spend it?
3. Would you like to try these on now, and if so do you need assistance?
4. Do you like avocado?
5. Would you like a massage, right now?

yay another Melbourne moz fan!
 
1. When was the last time you went to mass?
2. Do you prefer pre or post Vatican II?
3. When was the last time you received the Eucharist?
4. Did you receive the Eucharist on your tongue or in your hand?
5. Why are animal rights more important to you than childrens' rights, IE... the ones that are kidnapped and sold into child sex shops, internet porn....? Those kids don't have a voice either.
 
Sonar said:
Damn, I really really like those three questions. Especially the second one. And the shitty thing is: he'll never answer them. But I could do that job at least for No. 3: "No" (even - !very unlikely! - if the answer had to be yes, of course. f*** honesty, he's a role-model!)

I dunno if the NME will choose any of the questions I submitted (particularly as I paid no lip service to Arctic Monkeys in my email... just kidding), but I can imagine Moz answering the 'Of whom are you jealous?' question with something like 'Obviously nobody.' Though, naturally, that's really a non-answer.

As for the eating meat question, I imagined the 'personal audience' scenario proposed by sarah as being just me and Morrissey, nobody else around to hear. Rightly or wrongly, I feel confident that I could convince him that I wouldn't share his answer with anybody (which would be true). And I'd preface the question by confessing that, as a devout vegetarian and sometime vegan myself, I, most assuredly, have had moments where nothing mattered, not even music, much less animals, and I've thought 'f*** it' and eaten meat.

I don't mean to steer the thread off-topic, but it seems to me that in periods of severe depression, most people test those things to which they cling the hardest. 'Does this matter anymore? Does THIS?' If Morrissey were a more casual vegetarian, not so ardently involved in animal rights issues, then sure, it's easy for me to imagine that eating meat is not something that would cross his mind when he's in his darkest moments. But if he's been as low as 'he claims', or, I would say, as low as he's gorgeously, heartbreakingly demonstrated, it's hard for me to imagine that he didn't test that part of himself at some point. 'Does this still matter?' I've tested every single thing that is truly important to me, violated every principle that I hold dear, in the moments where I cannot find the light.

Of course, in my eyes, if Morrissey did eat meat in his worst and most self-hating moments, that wouldn't make him less of a vegetarian, but more of one.

Anyway, didn't mean to go on there. :)


love
math+
 
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1. Which Salvador Dali painting accurately reflects your current state of mind?
2. What is your culinary speciality? ("Toast" is not an acceptable answer)
3. You are allowed to be any character from BBC2's "League of Gentlemen" for an entire day. Who and why?
4. UK or USA Queer as Folk?
5. Who would you most like to be stranded on a desert island with?

So many questions, so little time...
 
From what Morrissey has said I think he finds even the smell of meat disgusting so I doubt he would see it as a treat to combat depression. I've known vegetarians who are so phobic about meat they can't even stand the thought of cutlery they use being comtaminated by it.

I reckon he's more likely to gorge on chocolate or whisky when he's a bit down.
 
^Oh no, not to combat depression, rather to subject himself to greater misery. When you're in the depths, you do shit like that. I mean, I do, as do others I know who have suffered severe depression. You get so low sometimes, it somehow makes sense to make it worse. Every time I've eaten meat I've been 100% grossed out, myself.

Anyway, back to the questions. :)

xox, math+
 
Math Tinder said:
^Oh no, not to combat depression, rather to subject himself to greater misery. When you're in the depths, you do shit like that. I mean, I do, as do others I know who have suffered severe depression. You get so low sometimes, it somehow makes sense to make it worse. Every time I've eaten meat I've been 100% grossed out, myself.

I agree with Math about the rationale for the question, as in times of depression/despair it is easy have feelings of "nothing matters" and abandon your deeply rooted principles and values, and in fact, compound your misery by engaging in the behavior that perfectly contradicts your principles (sort of like as a self-hatred measure).

But considering Danny's point, I wonder if whether or not he would have any depraved inclination to eat meat during these dark times might depend on if his intolerance of the smell of meat {that results in physical illness} is totally physical in nature versus if it is really a psychsomatic (ie, physical symptoms but originating from mental or emotional causes) reaction. So, it is possible to consider that (1) if it is wholly a physical inability to tolerate the smell of meat, he might never even consider seeking out meat in times of despair VS. (2) if his physical illness that stems from the smell of meat is more of a psychosomatic reaction, then there could be that twisted desire to add more agony to his state of mind

Hope this makes sense...
 
Math Tinder said:
I don't mean to steer the thread off-topic, but it seems to me that in periods of severe depression, most people test those things to which they cling the hardest. 'Does this matter anymore? Does THIS?'

What you're talking about... I do it all the time! The funny (or rather tragic) thing is: I just found out. So I guess you "helped" me more than my strange shrink. Quite inappropriate to say that, but: Thank you.

So, back to what the topic was... what was it? Ah, questions:

1. Did you ever think: "Gosh, if I wouldn't be me I'd really hate this Morrissey-guy!"?
2. Are you sometimes embarrassed by what you say the moment you say it? If so: is that the moment you do this silly tongue-in-cheek thing I love so much?
3. Why did you caress yourself on stage even when you hated yourself at that time? Or better said: Has there ever been a time in which you REALLY didn't love yourself?
4. What was your answer to Codreanu's ingenious imperative? And remember: WITHOUT WIT OR FORMULATION! Don't you think that was the coolest exit ever and do you want him to come back in now?

Can't think of another one, so my last question goes out to Math:
Did you sent those questions to Julia as well? If not: why not?
 
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