when I was younger, I thought like you
but a couple of things in my life happened, I won't re-write them, where I could've been died by crashed on my bike by a car , my bike went under the car ,
me with my face through the window shield [I love Karen I love Sharon], or losing my eye, by airgun, and being held in coma due double pneumonia for 5 days, and being on IC for 11 nights [12 days] and 8 on the recover...so I started to think, really after the carcrash,at that crosspoint 2 weeks later a young boy on a scooter was also crashed by a car though he didn't survive, his Grandad sipped bottles of Jenever [a Dutch alcoholic drink 48 %,' btw I'm a NON alcoholic']
in a day centre where someone worked who I live with, those things can think there must be more than just the way I thought earth became a living planet by just little molecuairs.
I believe theres something , something that can not be described, well I went to say I believe in God, I'm not a biblethumber but do waear a rosary
[no has nothing to do with Morrissey's ' I've forgiven Jesus, nor wearing His holy cross .]
That's short bit, thanks for your, you know, I accepted it
Respect.
'and they say he's mentall'....scarface satelite....
Thanks for sharing these things. You have been through a lot. I am glad that you have found meaning for it all. And that belief is a source of strength and purpose for you.
I too have been close to death numerous times. But I was raised in a secular home. No church, no religious instruction, no praying. No mention of the word god, even, in our home. Religion was something the kids across the street participated in. Not us. I adopted the label atheist at fifteen, in a way, to defend myself from the onslaught of people asking me what religion I was all the time. If you simply said none, they would literally try to convert you, save you. I needed to stand my ground, put up a barrier, of sorts. The US was, and still is, a very religious nation.
I learned on my own what religion and the bible was later in life, mostly at the university from humanities, philosophy, and religions studies classes. I learned about all the various religions out there... more from a sociological perspective. The more I learned, the stronger I identified with atheism. Education cemented non-belief in my mind. Anyhow, as I mentioned I too have suffered many losses, but I was never given the tools to pray. Never told it was an option for meaning or comfort. Now, at this ripe age, it would be like snuggling a teddy bear for comfort. It may make me feel better. But I believe that personal comfort, is where prayer ends. It does not connect us with a force outside of our own minds. Just my opinion, though.
So, I coped for all those years without it. I know there is NOTHING that will make me believe in god, short of evidence for one. I am a skeptic. If there is no evidence, there is no such thing--in my mind. It would be the equivalent of me believing in Santa Claus because it would give Christmas history, meaning, and make it more magical. It is magical enough for me just with the songs and lights and people gathering together for a meal or to exchange gifts.
My point is, I don't feel a void. I don't feel my life lacks meaning, or purpose, or is chaotic without god. I'm OK without one.