Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.
Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.
Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?"
"Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you."
The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey.
One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first."
The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey.
Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?"
"We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."
This little girl looks at her mom in the bathroom one day and says "mom you’re getting fat". Her mom explained how she has a baby growing in her stomach. The little girl replies "what's growing in your butt?"
Thor mopes on Mt. Olympus. Zeus asks him why he looks so depressed. Thor says that he misses the companionship and love of a woman. Zeus tells Thor that he will fix the problem by sending Thor down to Earth.
Thor lands in the backyard of a single woman. The two immediately start making love and continue all weekend.
After the weekend Thor is back at Mt. Olympus with a big grin on his face. Zeus asks Thor the great woman's name, but Thor admits that he never asked.
Horrified at his rudeness, Zeus sends Thor back down to find out the woman's name. Arriving in the same backyard, Thor calls out to the woman, "I wanted to tell you I'm Thor."
She yells, "You're thor? I'm tho thor I can hardly thit!"
This is my favorite lucky lisp joke that happens to be topical this weekend. Not because of giants dicks entering any vaginas, just because the movie is released. I mean I guess somewhere there's always a giant dick entering a vagina, just not here. Okay I'm going the stfu now.