Morrissey and Tom Hanks

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.
So you know how when you say Morrissey real fast it sounds like "Merci" and merci is Thank you in French and Tom Hanks shortened name is THanks?

What if Tom Hanks movies all mirror Morrissey's life? But what if, in a way, that eerie mirroring was used as a way to fill Morrissey with fear by a fake cosmic empire (props to track one of The Nationals album "Boxer") that was trying to keep Morrissey off track from finding himself in the maladjusted years?

:thumb:

(Claudia2006, this thread is dedicated to you. :flowers:)
 
Last edited:

Kewpie

Member
Moderator
Subscriber
Actually someone posted that Morrissey wasn't interested in meeting Tom Hanks when he came to see his gig.
 

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.
Well I'm not sure Tom Hanks knows he does this, but I could see why Morrissey would be hesitant to meet him not knowing one way or the other. I think Tom Hanks is just an actor, not a knower. I could be wrong. :rolleyes:
 

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.
I do know that Tom Hanks presided over Steve Martin's "wedding." Yes I went there.
 

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.
"there" being crazyville?

Sure. Let me take you on a journey. Take a drag if you have to.

So it's 2000. Morrissey's living in his Sweetzer home and on a particularly boring day he decides to take a stroll down to the Arclight to catch a brainless movie. Identifying with the central theme of being lost adrift, he decides to see Cast Away. Also being a little special, he identifies almost exactly with the character of a Fed Ex man delivering packages (like his songs) but abadoned himself. SO in the ending the love of his life finds a new husband while waiting for Tom to get back and leaving the theater, Morrissey thinks to himself, "f***. What if the love of my life did the same thing?" SO he goes into a deep depression, quits writing songs, gives up on the whole idea of looking completely until something kicks him in the ass a few years later and he goes "OY! THEY CAN'T GET ME DOWN."

It's just a theory but a plausible one.

Look at THanks other films though, it's rather amazing. He's ON MOrrissey's side more than against it. I know he called him out on the sleeve to Swords, but Morrissey really should do a complete Tom Hanks Netflix Run. He'd be wowed.
 
Y

yesitis

Guest
but wouldn't it be t . hanks?

that doesn't mean anything.

also

burbs.01.jpg


and

money%20pit.jpg


YEAH!!!
 

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.
but wouldn't it be t . hanks?

that doesn't mean anything.

also

burbs.01.jpg


and

money%20pit.jpg


YEAH!!!

It doesn't mean anything in Queen's English, but in King's English it does. :thumb:

And these are GREAT movies. Also check out two of my favorites, The Green Mile and Forrest Gump. :)flowers:)
 

Black Cloud

Case Sensitive
Moz n Boz would make a great Buffy and Hildy. :thumb:
 

Worm

Taste the diffidence
Well, let's see...

"Bosom Buddies"...Hanks impersonates a woman.

Check!

"Splash"...Hanks falls in love with a creature who is part beautiful woman and part "undefined". He is driven half-mad by his secret and forbidden love.

Check!

In "Big" Hanks plays a child trapped inside a man's body and doesn't know how to relate to women...

Check!

In "Dragnet" he lives in L.A. and finds himself at the center of a bizarre, shambling, and utterly harmless cult whose only goal is to destroy normalcy.

Check!

"Saving Private Ryan"...an older, wiser, experienced man shepherds a group of handsome young men through Europe...

Check!

I'd say it's a pretty close parallel, Geezer. :rolleyes:
 
Last edited:

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.
Well, let's see...

"Bosom Buddies"...Hanks impersonates a woman.

Check!

"Splash"...Hanks falls in love with a creature who is part beautiful woman and part "undefined". He is driven half-mad by his secret and forbidden love.

Check!

In "Big" Hanks plays a child trapped inside a man's body and doesn't know how to relate to women...

Check!

In "Dragnet" he lives in L.A. and finds himself at the center of a bizarre, shambling, and utterly harmless cult whose only goal is to destroy normalcy.

Check!

"Saving Private Ryan"...an older, wiser, experienced man shepherds a group of handsome young men through Europe...

Check!

I'd say it's a pretty close parallel, Geezer. :rolleyes:

Helllllooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!! I'm not just here for the witty banter. I know my shit. :p

C'mon MOrrissey TOM HANKS MARATHON!!!! You can intersperse the movies with strange indy Euro cult films, just watch them all, I promise you'll love it. :D
 

Barking

Well-Known Member
So you know how when you say Morrissey real fast it sounds like "Merci"

...Not really, though.

Plus, I've seen "Cast Away" and I don't remember any Jewish person in it?

Where would he plug the fax machine anyway, on a desert island? :confused:
 
Last edited:

ivaproblem

New Member
...Not really, though.

Plus, I've seen "Cast Away" and I don't remember any Jewish person in it?

Where would he plug the fax machine anyway, on a desert island? :confused:

pmsl! also you are all forgetting toy story (tom hanks as woody)

woody (mirroring morrissey) "a cowboy toy is profoundly threatened and jealous when a fancy spaceman toy supplants him as top toy in a boy's room"

woody = morrissey
spaceman buzz lightyear = boz lightyear (they become best friends)
evil kid andy = fill in as you see fit
 
Top Bottom