This show will not happen. This tour will not happen. What will happen, is Morrissey will blame a mystery illness or random incident. Perhaps Boz will get violent diarrhea at the last minute, or Gustavo will zip his foreskin up in the fly of his jeans. Maybe the McDonald's down the road will waft the scent of Big Macs throughout the area forcing him to flee from the unholy stench of billions and billions served.
But whatever happens, it will not be Morrissey's fault, but a vast conspiracy of shady forces conspiring against him, and he will convince himself that he's not even partially to blame. And the audience will shrink even more than it already has- and the cancellation will have nothing to do with him only selling a quarter of the available tickets to these shows.
