G
goinghome
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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
None.
[Hint: famine...]
None.
[Hint: famine...]
post a joke
- Thread starter nightingale+therose
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tlm130
Born to hang
WY
An Englishman was holidaying in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. One day they were strolling along a nude beach when they noticed a naked Black local also strolling towards them.
The Black guy notices the white guy has '" WY" tattooed on his penis and asks what it stands for? The white guy says .. Well when I get an erection it spells my girlfriends name " WENDY " , The surprised white guy sees that the Black guy also has " WY " tattooed on his penis and asks what it stands for?
The black guy says , well when I get an erection it spells " WELCOME TO THE BAHAMAS AND HAVE A NICE DAY " !!
An Englishman was holidaying in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. One day they were strolling along a nude beach when they noticed a naked Black local also strolling towards them.
The Black guy notices the white guy has '" WY" tattooed on his penis and asks what it stands for? The white guy says .. Well when I get an erection it spells my girlfriends name " WENDY " , The surprised white guy sees that the Black guy also has " WY " tattooed on his penis and asks what it stands for?
The black guy says , well when I get an erection it spells " WELCOME TO THE BAHAMAS AND HAVE A NICE DAY " !!
CrystalGeezer
My secret's my enzyme.
Why does Edward Woodward have so many E's in his name?
Because if he didn't, he'd be called Ewar Woowar (needs to be spoken).
I think this joke might be funnier if it was "Why does Edward Woodward have so many D's in his name?"
Unless I just don't get it. 
CrystalGeezer
My secret's my enzyme.
Did you hear about the the wallet that was made of nothing but foreskin? When you rub it it turns into a 9 piece set of luggage.
billy scissors
a bit fond
I think this joke might be funnier if it was "Why does Edward Woodward have so many D's in his name?"
I think it was John Gielgud who said something like "Edward Woodward,strange name,sounds like a fart in the bath"
A Glaswegian walks into a bakers, and looks at all the buns and cakes on offer.
"'Scuse me", he says, "is that a macaroon or a meringue?"
"No, you're right", says the proprietor, "it's a macaroon".
"'Scuse me", he says, "is that a macaroon or a meringue?"
"No, you're right", says the proprietor, "it's a macaroon".
CrystalGeezer
My secret's my enzyme.
A lesbian walks into a bar. The bartender asks her what she wants and she says, "How 'bout a Budweiser and that young girls phone number down at the other end of the bar?" THe bartender says, " Sorry, we don't sell minors to lickers."
billy scissors
a bit fond
A woman was found wandering the streets in a distressed state today after being attacked by three poofs.
Two held her down while the other did her hair.
Two held her down while the other did her hair.
Mad Vespa
Senior Member
I think this joke might be funnier if it was "Why does Edward Woodward have so many D's in his name?"
I am such a tit .... yes, D's!!!!
nugz
SUPAHSTAR!
God told Adam and Eve there was only one rule in the Garden of Eden...no sex.
so one day God sees Adam smoking a cigarette and says, "you did it. ...didnt you?"
Adam says, "yeah, we did."
God asks "ok well where's Eve?"
Adam says "shes in the river washing up."
God says, "Great. now the fish are gonna smell like that."
so one day God sees Adam smoking a cigarette and says, "you did it. ...didnt you?"
Adam says, "yeah, we did."
God asks "ok well where's Eve?"
Adam says "shes in the river washing up."
God says, "Great. now the fish are gonna smell like that."
oscillate wildly
New Member
i LOLed.
tlm130
Born to hang
Not feeling too well need some chuckles
Counseling - Southern Style
Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing Tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "Think I'm gonna divorce the wife - she ain't spoke to me in over 2 months."
Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says,
"Better think it over.............women like that are hard to find."
What is a woman?
A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires. She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, invincible...
OH, wait... I'm thinking of vodka. Never mind.
Three Little Pigs
This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is. They think so logically.
A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home.
She read . 'and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'
The teacher paused then asked the class:
'And what do you think the man said?'
One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly ...'I think the man would have said -
'Well, I'll be damned!! A talking pig!'
The teacher had to leave the room.
Counseling - Southern Style
Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing Tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "Think I'm gonna divorce the wife - she ain't spoke to me in over 2 months."
Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says,
"Better think it over.............women like that are hard to find."
What is a woman?
A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires. She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, invincible...
OH, wait... I'm thinking of vodka. Never mind.
Three Little Pigs
This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is. They think so logically.
A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home.
She read . 'and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'
The teacher paused then asked the class:
'And what do you think the man said?'
One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly ...'I think the man would have said -
'Well, I'll be damned!! A talking pig!'
The teacher had to leave the room.
tlm130
Born to hang
billy scissors
a bit fond
Tim Vine : "I've just been on a once-in -a-lifetime holiday.I'll tell you what,never again"
billy scissors
a bit fond
A man walked into the pub today,black shirt,black shorts and a whistle around his neck.
I thought - somethings gonna kick off here.
I thought - somethings gonna kick off here.
oh go on.
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