the "Did you know" thread

mar2d2

I'm quietly judging you
did you know that colin firth got his wife stolen by Ralph Fiennes in "The English Patient" and then in "Shakespeare in Love" he got his girl stolen by Joseph Fiennes, Ralph Fiennes real life brother?


*now that you have read this you can say that today has been a well spent day*
 

lottie

Love Me Outside!
DON'T waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite
tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of
another song you like and hum that instead.

CINEMA goers. Please have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by
having a p*ss before the film starts.

RAPPERS. Avoid having to say 'know what I'm sayin' all the time by
actually speaking clearly in the first place.

DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your
identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along
with your old bank statements.

RED WINE DRINKERS Worried that your teeth will be stained after a
heavy night of drinking red wine? Simply drink a bottle of white wine
before going to bed to remove the stains.

SOLDIERS Invest in a digital camera to avoid all that court martial
tomfoolery after a trip to Trueprint.

MURDERERS Need to dispose of a body? Simply parcel it up and post it
to yourself via DHL. You will never see it again.

BURGLARS. When fleeing from the police, run with your right arm
sticking Out at 90 degrees, wrapped in a baby mattress in case they
set one of their dogs on you.

EMPLOYERS Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the
CVs into the bin.

MEN When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to
the volume you desire; then turn it down three notches. This will save
your wife from having to do it.

GAMBLERS. For a new gambling opportunity, try sending £50 to yourself
by Royal Mail.

BANGING two pistachio nutshells together gives the impression that a
very small horse is approaching.

BLIND PEOPLE Give yourself at least a chance of seeing something by
not wearing heavy dark glasses all the time.

ALCOHOL makes an ideal substitute for happiness.

DRIVERS. If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your
horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start
and send them on their way.

PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving
everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the
morning, simply move it all back again.

CAR thieves Don't be discouraged when nothing is on view. All the
valuables may be hidden in the glove box or under a seat.

MOTORISTS Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst
driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police
will think you are listening to the sea.

JEREMY Beadle When selling DVDs on your TV advert, hold the disks in
your bigger hand so that they do not appear to be the size of laser
disks.

SHOES last twice as long if only worn every other day.

SINGLE men Convince people that you have a girlfriend by standing
outside Etam with several bags of shopping, looking at your watch and
occasionally glancing inside.

BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping the egg
into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60 mph.
After 3 miles, phone your wife and tell her to take the egg out the
pan.

ALCOHOLICS don't worry where the next drink is coming from. Go to the
pub, where a large selection is available at retail prices.

McDONALD'S Make your brown carrier bags green in colour so they blend
in with the countryside after they've been thrown out of car windows. .

rofl very good...
*trots off to try out the pistachio shells one* :o
 
To predict is difficult. Especially about the future.
- Chinese proverb


Picasso could draw before he could walk and his first word was the Spanish word for pencil.


2 billion people still cannot read.
 

Bluebirds

Well-Known Member
Bulgaria was the only football team in the 1994 World Cup in which all 11 players' last names ended with the letters "OV."


When the Hoovers did not want to be overheard by White House guests, they spoke to each other in Chinese.

TYPEWRITER, is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.
 

Manic Rose

Girlfriend In A Coma
When the Hoovers did not want to be overheard by White House guests, they spoke to each other in Chinese.

what would they do if they had chinese guests staying? :p
 

virtually dead

Simply Thrilled, Honey
Did you know...That there's only one country where Coca-Cola isn't the leading brand of soft drink?
Guess the exception. :D
 

drunken goldfish

blah blah fishcakes
^^Who is it?

My useless fact: When you take a shower, do you face the faucet (or whatever it's called, shower hose?) or turn your back to it?
If you're a woman, it's more likely you answered "face it", if you're a man, the other way around.
 

wolve

the sad punk
I "face it", yes. Why would men stand the other way around?
 

drunken goldfish

blah blah fishcakes
I don't know, I read it on a site that listed lots of little differences between men and women. I face it too, but my boyfriend has his back to it, so I guess it's true ;) .
 

wolve

the sad punk
But then some of them don't even "ban" drugs. What does more harm, weed or coke? (don't answer)
 

chica

v2.0
I wanna try coke :(
But I have a weed stash that I haven't even opened.

I'm hopeless. :(




Do you think I should delete this post?
 

chica

v2.0
I had to google Rennie... It seems to be a "medication for treating heartburn, indigestion and trapped wind" :p

Virtie, that's terribly attractive.
 

virtually dead

Simply Thrilled, Honey
Well, thank you.
After I sat on a wall and sang Radio Ga Ga complete with hand actions! :p
 
Top Bottom