Overestimator

I am an overestimator of people. Time and time again I give them far too much credit and place way too much confidence in their integrity, honesty, intelligence and talent. I suppose because I see the glass half-full that I am susceptible to this chronic overestimation. Not only do I give people the benefit of the doubt, I actually esteem them higher than they deserve. It’s like I'm on a Kool-Aid diet when I first meet people; but then I get to know them for who they truly are and my sugary elixir is suddenly taken away and I am left disappointed and disillusioned... and a bit sour. I thought them way too precious. It’s not their fault that they are flawed and dumber than I thought.

I have a gift for making people feel really good when they first cross paths with me. Because I put them on a pedestal. This makes them feel special and important. And they are… but not nearly as wonderful as I estimated them to be in the beginning. Once my perspective changes, I see them for who they really are: fairly plain, fairly normal, fairly boring and fairly average.

And when they too realize that I am now seeing their true selves—flaws and mediocrity and awkwardness—they fall back to ground level or perhaps even lower, sinking deeper than they were before they were overestimated by this overestimator.

Comments

I can relate. This usually happens to me in certain professional environments. I'd like to paraphrase you and say that it's not *my* fault that they are flawed and dumber than I thought. The stained glass image of them usually cracks once I see that they have no integrity or values. I get tricked into a false sense of security thinking that the person I am opening up to and sharing things with is supportive and mature, but then I come to see who they really are, which is actually a backstabbing, sanctimonious jerk. Not the unique person I thought was a friend, but just another vapid and ordinary person to avoid. I'm rambling here, but your timing is excellent. It's been a strange week.
 
@Violeta Love this: "The stained glass image of them usually cracks once I see that they have no integrity or values. I get tricked into a false sense of security thinking that the person I am opening up to and sharing things with is supportive and mature, but then I come to see who they really are, which is actually a backstabbing, sanctimonious jerk."

Leaves one feeling betrayed and even questioning one's judgement. Sometimes I wonder if I'd be better off being the opposite: hyper-critical. At least then I may be pleasantly surprised by how I underestimated someone. So glad to have a core of family members that meet and exceed my expectations time and time again. Wonder if they'd say the same about me.
 

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