S
Some Totally Random Moz Fan
Guest
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
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- At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other women replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
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- When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
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- Eighty percent of married men cheat in the U.S.A. The rest cheat in Canada.
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- A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
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- A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
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- Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
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- Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and by then it was too late."
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- Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
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- If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
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- Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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- You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.
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- Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
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- First guy: "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
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- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
- At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other women replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
- When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Eighty percent of married men cheat in the U.S.A. The rest cheat in Canada.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
- A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
- A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and by then it was too late."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
- If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
- You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
- First guy: "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
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- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.
