Ronnie Barker RIP *UK* NoMOZ

H

Hazard

Guest
It's sad to report the death of an outstanding UK entertainer, Ronnie Barker. The news agencies here published the following details:

LONDON (Reuters) - Comedian Ronnie Barker, the big half of famous duo The Two Ronnies and the indomitable Fletch in prison sitcom Porridge, has died aged 76.

A BBC spokeswoman said on Tuesday that the portly, bespectacled star died peacefully on Monday in the presence of his wife. He had been suffering heart trouble.

Tributes poured in for one of Britain's best-loved comics.

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"Ronnie was pure gold in triplicate: as a performer, a writer and a friend," said the "other" Ronnie, Ronnie Corbett.

"We worked together since 1965 and we never had a cross word. It was 40 years of harmonious joy, nothing but an absolute pleasure. I will miss him terribly."

Michael Hurll, a producer on the Two Ronnies, said Barker's partnership with the diminutive Corbett ranked alongside that of Morecambe and Wise in importance.

"I don't think we will see their like again," he said. "Ronnie Barker meant to comedy in this country laughs, big laughs and laughs that you will always remember."

The BBC will air a special half-hour programme celebrating Barker's life on Tuesday evening.

Ronald William George Barker was born in Bedford in 1929. At one stage he considered becoming a bank manager, the kind of middle class, respectable profession he would later parody mercilessly in his sketches.

But he chose the theatre instead, appearing in plays and on the radio before breaking into television.

"IT'S GOODNIGHT FROM HIM"

In 1971, he teamed up with Corbett for the first Two Ronnies series, a show based on deft wordplay and comic timing that attracted up to 17 million viewers at its peak.

It ended with a gag that has become a national institution.

In a spoof of news readers, Corbett would bid the audience "goodnight from me", to which Barker, who towered above him, would add "and it's goodnight from him".

Barker's death dominated Tuesday's news bulletins in Britain, and broadcasters sifted through his gags to find the most memorable lines.

Among the contenders was the joke: "The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on."

Barker received an OBE, awarded by the state for distinguished work, and won many accolades including most recently a special tribute from the British Academy of Film and Television Arts in 2004.

He once said in an interview: "I would like to be remembered as one of the funniest men that people have seen on television. 'He made us laugh, he did make us laugh, God bless him'."

Despite his success in Porridge and Open All Hours, in which he played the stuttering, lascivious shopkeeper Arkwright, Barker was never comfortable in the limelight and spent his retirement since 1988 running an antique shop in rural England.

"He was very shy, a man uneasy with the fame that came with the job," said chat show host Michael Parkinson.

He returned to television screens earlier this year, however, with Corbett to present "The Two Ronnies Sketchbook", a compilation of clips from their old shows.

Barker was survived by his wife, Joy Tubb, a daughter and two sons.
 
Here's The ' FouR Candles' sketch.. bless

In a hardware shop. Ronnie Corbett is behind the counter, wearing a warehouse jacket. He has just finished serving a customer.
CORBETT (muttering): There you are. Mind how you go.
(Ronnie Barker enters the shop, wearing a scruffy tank-top and beanie)
BARKER: Four Candles!
CORBETT: Four Candles?
BARKER: Four Candles.
(Ronnie Corbett makes for a box, and gets out four candles. He places them on the counter)
BARKER: No, four candles!
CORBETT (confused): Well there you are, four candles!
BARKER: No, fork 'andles! 'Andles for forks!
(Ronnie Corbett puts the candles away, and goes to get a fork handle. He places it onto the counter)CORBETT (muttering): Fork handles. Thought you said 'four candles!' (more clearly) Next?
BARKER: Got any plugs?
CORBETT: Plugs. What kind of plugs?
BARKER: A rubber one, bathroom.
(Ronnie Corbett gets out a box of bath plugs, and places it on the counter)
CORBETT (pulling out two different sized plugs): What size?
BARKER: Thirteen amp!
CORBETT (muttering): It's electric bathroom plugs, we call them, in the trade. Electric bathroom plugs!
(He puts the box away, gets out another box, and places on the counter an electric plug, then puts the box away)
BARKER: Saw tips!
CORBETT: Saw tips? (he doesn't know what he means) What d'you want? Ointment, or something like that?
BARKER: No, saw tips for covering saws.
CORBETT: Oh, haven't got any, haven't got any. (he mutters) Comin' in, but we haven' got any. Next?
BARKER: 'O's!
CORBETT: 'O's?
BARKER: 'O's.
(He goes to get a hoe, and places it on the counter)
BARKER: No, 'O's!
CORBETT: 'O's! I thought you said 'O! (he takes the hose back, and gets a hose, whilst muttering) When you said 'O's, I thought you said 'O! 'O's!
(He places the hose onto the counter)
BARKER: No, 'O's!
CORBETT (confused for a moment): O's? Oh, you mean panty 'o's, panty 'o's! (he picks up a pair of tights from beside him)
BARKER: No, no, 'O's! 'O's for the gate. Mon repose! 'O's! Letter O's!
CORBETT (finally realising): Letter O's! (muttering) You had me going there!
(He climbs up a stepladder, gets a box down, puts the ladder away, and takes the box to the counter, and searches through it for letter O's)
CORBETT: How many d'you want?
BARKER: Two.
(Ronnie Corbett leaves two letter O's on the counter, then takes the box back, gets the ladder out again, puts the box away, climbs down the ladder, and puts the ladder away, then returns to the counter)
CORBETT: Yes, next?
BARKER: Got any P's?
CORBETT (fed up): For Gawd' sake, why didn' you bleedin' tell me that while I was up there then? I'm up and down the shop already, it's up and down the bleedin' shop all the time. (He gets the ladder out, climbs up and gets the box of letters down, then puts the ladder away) Honestly, I've got all this shop, I ain't got any help, it's worth it we plan things. (He puts the box on the counter, and gets out some letter P's) How many d'you want?
BARKER: No! Tins of peas. Three tins of peas!
CORBETT: You're 'avin' me on, ain't ya, yer 'avin' me on?
BARKER: I'm not!
(Ronnie Corbett dumps the box under the counter, and gets three tins of peas)
CORBETT (placing the tins on the counter): Next?
BARKER: Got any pumps?
CORBETT (getting really fed up): 'And pumps, foot pumps? Come on!
BARKER (surprised he has to ask): Foot pumps!
CORBETT (muttering, as he goes down the shop): Foot pumps. See a foot pump? (He sees one, and picks it up) Tidy up in 'ere.
(He puts the pump down on the counter)
BARKER: No, pumps fer ya feet! Brown pump, size nine!
CORBETT (almost at breaking point): You are 'avin' me on, you are definitely 'avin' me on!
BARKER (not taking much notice of Corbett's mood): I'm not!
CORBETT: You are 'avin' me on! (He takes back the pump, and gets a pair of brown foot pumps out of a drawer, and places them on the counter) Next?
BARKER: Washers!
CORBETT (really close to breaking point): What, dishwashers, floor washers, car washers, windscreen washers, back scrubbers, lavatory cleaners? Floor washers?
BARKER: 'Alf inch washers!
CORBETT: Oh, tap washers, tap washers? (He finally breaks, and makes to confiscate his list) Look, I've had just about enough of this, give us that list. (He mutters) I'll get it all myself! (Reading through the list) What's this? What's that? Oh that does it! That just about does it! I have just about had it! (calling through to the back) Mr. Jones! You come out and serve this customer please, I have just about had enough of 'im. (Mr. Jones comes out, and Ronnie Corbett shows him the list) Look what 'e's got on there! Look what 'e's got on there!
JONES (who goes to a drawer with a towel hanging out of it, and opens it): Right! How many would ya like? One or two?
(He removes the towel to reveal the label on the drawer - 'Bill hooks'!)

R.I.P
 
Re: Here's The ' FouR Candles' sketch.. bless

> In a hardware shop. Ronnie Corbett is behind the counter, wearing a
> warehouse jacket. He has just finished serving a customer.
> CORBETT (muttering): There you are. Mind how you go.
> (Ronnie Barker enters the shop, wearing a scruffy tank-top and beanie)
> BARKER: Four Candles!
> CORBETT: Four Candles?
> BARKER: Four Candles.
> (Ronnie Corbett makes for a box, and gets out four candles. He places them
> on the counter)
> BARKER: No, four candles!
> CORBETT (confused): Well there you are, four candles!
> BARKER: No, fork 'andles! 'Andles for forks!
> (Ronnie Corbett puts the candles away, and goes to get a fork handle. He
> places it onto the counter)CORBETT (muttering): Fork handles. Thought you
> said 'four candles!' (more clearly) Next?
> BARKER: Got any plugs?
> CORBETT: Plugs. What kind of plugs?
> BARKER: A rubber one, bathroom.
> (Ronnie Corbett gets out a box of bath plugs, and places it on the
> counter)
> CORBETT (pulling out two different sized plugs): What size?
> BARKER: Thirteen amp!
> CORBETT (muttering): It's electric bathroom plugs, we call them, in the
> trade. Electric bathroom plugs!
> (He puts the box away, gets out another box, and places on the counter an
> electric plug, then puts the box away)
> BARKER: Saw tips!
> CORBETT: Saw tips? (he doesn't know what he means) What d'you want?
> Ointment, or something like that?
> BARKER: No, saw tips for covering saws.
> CORBETT: Oh, haven't got any, haven't got any. (he mutters) Comin' in, but
> we haven' got any. Next?
> BARKER: 'O's!
> CORBETT: 'O's?
> BARKER: 'O's.
> (He goes to get a hoe, and places it on the counter)
> BARKER: No, 'O's!
> CORBETT: 'O's! I thought you said 'O! (he takes the hose back, and gets a
> hose, whilst muttering) When you said 'O's, I thought you said 'O! 'O's!
> (He places the hose onto the counter)
> BARKER: No, 'O's!
> CORBETT (confused for a moment): O's? Oh, you mean panty 'o's, panty 'o's!
> (he picks up a pair of tights from beside him)
> BARKER: No, no, 'O's! 'O's for the gate. Mon repose! 'O's! Letter O's!
> CORBETT (finally realising): Letter O's! (muttering) You had me going
> there!
> (He climbs up a stepladder, gets a box down, puts the ladder away, and
> takes the box to the counter, and searches through it for letter O's)
> CORBETT: How many d'you want?
> BARKER: Two.
> (Ronnie Corbett leaves two letter O's on the counter, then takes the box
> back, gets the ladder out again, puts the box away, climbs down the
> ladder, and puts the ladder away, then returns to the counter)
> CORBETT: Yes, next?
> BARKER: Got any P's?
> CORBETT (fed up): For Gawd' sake, why didn' you bleedin' tell me that
> while I was up there then? I'm up and down the shop already, it's up and
> down the bleedin' shop all the time. (He gets the ladder out, climbs up
> and gets the box of letters down, then puts the ladder away) Honestly,
> I've got all this shop, I ain't got any help, it's worth it we plan
> things. (He puts the box on the counter, and gets out some letter P's) How
> many d'you want?
> BARKER: No! Tins of peas. Three tins of peas!
> CORBETT: You're 'avin' me on, ain't ya, yer 'avin' me on?
> BARKER: I'm not!
> (Ronnie Corbett dumps the box under the counter, and gets three tins of
> peas)
> CORBETT (placing the tins on the counter): Next?
> BARKER: Got any pumps?
> CORBETT (getting really fed up): 'And pumps, foot pumps? Come on!
> BARKER (surprised he has to ask): Foot pumps!
> CORBETT (muttering, as he goes down the shop): Foot pumps. See a foot
> pump? (He sees one, and picks it up) Tidy up in 'ere.
> (He puts the pump down on the counter)
> BARKER: No, pumps fer ya feet! Brown pump, size nine!
> CORBETT (almost at breaking point): You are 'avin' me on, you are
> definitely 'avin' me on!
> BARKER (not taking much notice of Corbett's mood): I'm not!
> CORBETT: You are 'avin' me on! (He takes back the pump, and gets a pair of
> brown foot pumps out of a drawer, and places them on the counter) Next?
> BARKER: Washers!
> CORBETT (really close to breaking point): What, dishwashers, floor
> washers, car washers, windscreen washers, back scrubbers, lavatory
> cleaners? Floor washers?
> BARKER: 'Alf inch washers!
> CORBETT: Oh, tap washers, tap washers? (He finally breaks, and makes to
> confiscate his list) Look, I've had just about enough of this, give us
> that list. (He mutters) I'll get it all myself! (Reading through the list)
> What's this? What's that? Oh that does it! That just about does it! I have
> just about had it! (calling through to the back) Mr. Jones! You come out
> and serve this customer please, I have just about had enough of 'im. (Mr.
> Jones comes out, and Ronnie Corbett shows him the list) Look what 'e's got
> on there! Look what 'e's got on there!
> JONES (who goes to a drawer with a towel hanging out of it, and opens it):
> Right! How many would ya like? One or two?
> (He removes the towel to reveal the label on the drawer - 'Bill hooks'!)

> R.I.P

Yeah that four/fork handles sketch does'nt really work when written on paper
 
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