I think you both have valid points there. However you perceive it from the die-hard fan's point of view. Let me give you a new fan's perspective:
Act I. You have killed me.
You have killed me is primary responsible for me being here. If I haven't heard it on the radio, I wouldn't buy the album, wouldn't go to see Morrissey live and wouldn't be converted into Morrissey-ism. I believe that is the main purpose of the single and I believe that YHKM has served it's purpose well.
When I heard it on the radio in the gym, I nearly fell off the treadmill. It sounded nothing like the rest of the music out there.
I came home, found the site that was streaming it and was streaming it for 2 days non-stop, and then the album came out and I bought it.
Definitely not a grower, but a catchy song and a good lure. (My non Morrissey friends all agree).
Act II. I Will See You In Far Off Places.
When the CD arrived, I put it on and the first track was of course I Will See You In Far Off Places. Now, that was totally not what I expected after hearing the single. But it really did have the so-called "wow factor". It took me quite some time to move to the next song.
At that point I was totally unbiased, didn't really know much about Morrissey (apart from having few Smiths records, that I listened from time to time, mostly for Marr's music I think. Strangely I never fully got into Smiths until Morrissey brought the songs to life at the show. I probably struggled to relate to something that seemed so distant in time).
Judging from my own experience I'm not convinced about the choice of the singles to follow. I'm not sure I would buy the album if I heard The Youngest first, as it took me several months, several live performances and a trip to Rome to finally get into it.
Far Off places, on the other hand, grabbed my attention straight away, that's why I believe it could've made an interesting single. And it doesn't really have to represent the album, it just has to lure people into buying it.
And of course the main thing is that it MUST be on the radio.