Morrissey should do a cover version of...

or better still, Whigfield.

"Da ba da dan dee dee dee da
Nee na na na - be my baby
Da ba da dan dee dee dee da
Nee na na na - pretty baby"

This. In 1994 or 1995 it would have seemed a bit lame, trying too hard for irony, but in 2009 when she's almost impossibly irrelevant? Big win for Moz I think.
 
I have a RARE Video of Mozzer and Jo Brand doing a cover of Arthur Mullard and Hilda Bakers version of "You're the one that I want" from a private party....anybody wanna copy???
( it's also got Morrissey playing the theme tune to "On The Buses" on a greasy comb , with a King-sized Rizla attached....).
Ahh ....ya HAD Ta be there!!!!
 
Adam and the Ants, "Killer in the Home." It came to me in the middle of the night! The plodding tempo, the darkness of it all, and finishes with some good ol' yodelling!

AND mention of Band-aids!

"they cut you in half with a gun
and give you a bandaid"
 
Casimir Pulaski Day by Sufjan Stevens. Maybe some James or even Mazzy Star or Dido. But in all seriousness he should definitely consider Night Crawler by Judas Priest.
 
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