True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real life?

[Anonymous]

Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

If you believe online is equal to IRL, please vote. BG set this as anonymous so no one will know your position. This stigma of meeting online for the first time must end once and for all. It's how I met my GF and we are happy.

 

[realitybites]

Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

If you believe online is equal to IRL, please vote. BG set this as anonymous so no one will know your position. This stigma of meeting online for the first time must end once and for all. It's how I met my GF and we are happy.

These polls are unscientific and surely incapable of removing social stigma on this small website. And definitely not in the world at large.

Why do you care what people think about online dating? You found your partner. Unless you own stocks in an online dating site, should it really matter if the dimwits living under rocks who have no sense of imagination think it is for losers? They are the losers--not you.

 

[Anonymous]

Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

You seem to be referring to people who are socially inept, or suffer from aspergers. Online dating sites are surely a godsend for suchlike. Before the internet happened there used to be things like penpals - but there wasn't that pressure of date looking then.

 

[Anonymous]

Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

i notice that no one has mentioned time. in a professional career many dont have the time to go out and try to meet people. same with single parents. these people use this stuff to make up for the lost time

That may be the case during the early years of setting up a career but for me there seems to be an alarming number of ex friends of mine that are still single and looking and with very little experience. These people set up companies and what not but for many years now those companies have been like self playing pianos where they have needed very little work to keep it going and so the career explanation cannot be used anymore.

I can see that people with ordinary jobs have relationships both now and in the past and kids with several people whereas the career people sit there with own companies and loads of money and homes they own and they go on holiday alone and even record it on Facebook and other social media. Those types of careers of course involve computers a lot and these men seem to be stuck in a teenage view on relationship and are looking for a girl and not a woman still.

You can make your mind up about what it is that made them still being single. Professionally they are able to communicate with customers and loads of people but when it comes down to private life and opposite sex they seem to be inept for some strange reason.

 

[Belligerent Ghoul]

Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

There sure are a lot of doctors and lawyers on there - and this means - nothing.

 

[Anonymous]

Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

well those whove done startups here that i know have it consume there lives and none are anything like self playing pianos. they become theyre life. i mostly meant professionals like doctors brokers etc. they have so little free time that they do tend to use these sites some.

 

[Anonymous]

Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

well those whove done startups here that i know have it consume there lives and none are anything like self playing pianos. they become theyre life. i mostly meant professionals like doctors brokers etc. they have so little free time that they do tend to use these sites some.

But it seems to be a modern thing that did not happen before internet so how come some cannot even get laid when internet is there to be used?

Doctors and lawyers have special needs and few if any are into anything other than kinky sex, just ask the working girls who their clients are.

 

[Anonymous]

Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

There sure are a lot of doctors and lawyers on there - and this means - nothing.

It is painfully obvious why you created this thread and why you question those that are able to find a partner no matter how they find one. I smell jealousy all through this thread and since you are a lawyer it is quite strange that you are not successful with the ladies (I know you are straight).

 

[Anonymous]

Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

It is painfully obvious why you created this thread and why you question those that are able to find a partner no matter how they find one. I smell jealousy all through this thread and since you are a lawyer it is quite strange that you are not successful with the ladies (I know you are straight).

The lack of "false" votes speaks volumes. It's not P.C. to say so people refrain. However, the silent majority still believes meeting online is suspect.

 

[Chickpea]

Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

I'm giving 80% of the comments on this thread serious side-eye.

It's really NOT that big of a deal. The internet is part of the real world, and meeting in person isn't anything special. (Doctors and lawyers are human and they need to be loved, etc. Also, even those of us without advanced degrees are busy. No kidding!)

 

[Anonymous]

Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

i do agree chick pea that the internet is part of the real world. youll also probably find the reasons to be multi factorial and think that all people of any profession will be the same is just going to end up badly. as for the advanced degree bit i was more referencing the idea of having a professional career where they dont date clients (shouldnt). many people who work in retail food service are still busy but they can often meet potential spouses through work via employees and customers which is something a person in a more professional career cant do all the time very conveniently.

as for internet dating being a modern thing and people still did it before, dating as it now stands seems to me a very recent modern phenomenon as i know it to a large degree. hell just in womens rights advances in my society the nature of dating and meeting partners is way way different/confusing for a lot of people. probably more so to men who didnt have to try very hard to at least meet and approach women and cant deal with having to adjust this or are afraid of the new unknown of a women in full charge of what she can say and do with her own livelihood and prospects untied to a man. i dont know, dating is a weird thing for me personally and is way to easy to just fall in to. im kinda of jealous of people who had that independent phase of there lives where they lived alone and could go out and meet/date have fun mingling. ive never been single since like i graduated high school so i never had that experience. ive only know commitment to others and not just a loyalty to myself which i imagine to be fun. when i met my wife i told her at the first and was upfront in saying that i would never make her any money or ever try to placate and comfort her with lies and woould probably spend a lot on schooling/education. she still wanted to marry me so its gotta be something other than career thats a big factor in meeting people. i think she had more the modern male problem of having no time because of school and career and didnt know if she should act as a traditional women might in the past in order to attract me. she was super nervous and didnt know what to do. it was sweet now that im thinking back on it

 

[realitybites]

Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

Things I have learned through online dating:

Everyone thinks they are intelligent.
Men are quick to whip it out--their phone number, that is.
Lots of folks trying to escape shipwrecked lives--wanting to be rescued.
Most people cannot write well.

 

[Anonymous]

Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

The lack of "false" votes speaks volumes. It's not P.C. to say so people refrain. However, the silent majority still believes meeting online is suspect.

No studies at all out there confirms that and it is simply not the case but some bible belters and unmodern people with really old values will say that it is suspect beacuse they themselves cannot find someone through modern social media. It is that same old story with the person who cannot get laid and therefor needs to point the finger at people who are getting laid. Just try living in the real world for five minutes, it is ok and not that scary after all.

Good luck!

 

[No1uno]

Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

Yes you can meet, but nothing replaces the experience of time with someone and the nuance of everyday life. I could surely learn a lot by the sharing of myself and them sharing with me online. But the benefit of time with someone physically in your life determines compatibility. A good start online, possibly, you will never know until regular contact is put in motion. Things and people are a mystery until face to face. You cannot predict temperament from an online tryst.

I think about myself. You adapt and change with time when you are with someone. You cannot predict these things online. I surely was open to my wife starting a career after college. When we decided to have children, I was able to comfortably support our household with my career. She, given the her own free will, was able to chose whether to begin a career or start a family. She chose to raise our children, and I have a lot of respect for that. So much so that I am keenly aware of what she sacrificed and do everything to emotionally support that. See she did not have to forgo a career but she did. This is life and issues that shape us as a family happen in real time. I hardly doubt that these can be vetted online. Online is probably a wonderful introduction to learn someone's moral and ethical values. All long as you are trying to actually find those moral and ethical values when talking to someone online and not just looking to look, or to satisfy some temporary craving for affection.

Introduction yes, would it keep me from meeting someone in real life, no way, because real life is the only way you are going to know a real person. Otherwise they are just words written somewhere.

 

[modrevolve]

Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

I don't think that's true at all.
I never considered it myself because
A. I'm insecure
B. I poked around and never found ladies on there with interests similar to mine.

I met my partner at a Glasvegas concert through mutual friends funny enough.

 

[Anonymous]

Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

Yes you can meet, but nothing replaces the experience of time with someone and the nuance of everyday life. I could surely learn a lot by the sharing of myself and them sharing with me online. But the benefit of time with someone physically in your life determines compatibility. A good start online, possibly, you will never know until regular contact is put in motion. Things and people are a mystery until face to face. You cannot predict temperament from an online tryst.

I think about myself. You adapt and change with time when you are with someone. You cannot predict these things online. I surely was open to my wife starting a career after college. When we decided to have children, I was able to comfortably support our household with my career. She, given the her own free will, was able to chose whether to begin a career or start a family. She chose to raise our children, and I have a lot of respect for that. So much so that I am keenly aware of what she sacrificed and do everything to emotionally support that. See she did not have to forgo a career but she did. This is life and issues that shape us as a family happen in real time. I hardly doubt that these can be vetted online. Online is probably a wonderful introduction to learn someone's moral and ethical values. All long as you are trying to actually find those moral and ethical values when talking to someone online and not just looking to look, or to satisfy some temporary craving for affection.

Introduction yes, would it keep me from meeting someone in real life, no way, because real life is the only way you are going to know a real person. Otherwise they are just words written somewhere.

You complicate it too much and wether people meet online or in real life the same mechanisms apply. You seem to be looking for assurance and in love there is none. I am just laughing at the people here opposed to online dating because they are so sadly old fashioned due to their inability to meet people in whatever way or form there is available. Maybe their frustration about online dating comes from the realisation that not even that works for them.

You cannot learn the ability to be social and click with people around you. Not all people are meant to live in relationships and I think people would be surprised if they knew the number of one person households in the world. Nothing makes people so sad and bitter as the inability to find someone for love or sex or both.

 

[Anonymous]

Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

I don't think that's true at all.
I never considered it myself because
A. I'm insecure
B. I poked around and never found ladies on there with interests similar to mine.

I met my partner at a Glasvegas concert through mutual friends funny enough.

Well, the problem with the question and this thread is that someone assumed that people either meet people online or in real life when people do both. I have met women online and in real life at work or through friends. Thread starter has this MO against people dating online thinking there are people who ONLY meet others online but those people quite simply do not exist at all.

We live in a really silly world when some consider it better when people meet in so called real life than online but the web is real life too , just that some people still cannot realise that.

 

[Chickpea]

Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

Yes you can meet, but nothing replaces the experience of time with someone and the nuance of everyday life. I could surely learn a lot by the sharing of myself and them sharing with me online. But the benefit of time with someone physically in your life determines compatibility. A good start online, possibly, you will never know until regular contact is put in motion. Things and people are a mystery until face to face. You cannot predict temperament from an online tryst.

With all due respect, No1uno, I don't think you're in a position to speak for anyone other than yourself here. You are quite clearly not comfortable with being non-anonymous online, as evidenced by your blue dots (and so on), and you have drawn a line between your identity in the physical realm and your cloak in the internet world. There's nothing wrong with that, of course, but you are coming from a VERY different place and with an entirely different approach than someone like me, who has chosen to be entirely accessible and identifiable on the internet. It even makes me uncomfortable to use the name "Chickpea," frankly, and this is the only forum in which I don't use my real name (Anna) as an identifier. In other words, we have completely different approaches to how we present ourselves online, and your discomfort with the format is precisely the reason why it's not a place where you are likely to meet a partner—whether a lifelong friendship or a romantic relationship.

Personally, I think the greatest error in judgement made when meeting new people is believing that the person you see before you—in the flesh, I mean—is both trustworthy and an accurate representation of who they are outside of that moment. The truth is that people change from moment to moment, and our behavior and beliefs fluctuate depending on any number of variables. Those variables don't disappear when you step away from the internet, nor do all of the affectations that come with wanting to present your best self to a potential new mate or friend. If anything, I've found that meeting in person can complicate perception, since physical attraction (and physical self-consciousness) can so easily get in the way of understanding point of view or taking time to pay attention to what's being said. As I said in another comment, the longest-lasting relationships I've had in my life are the ones that began online—or even earlier, in the days of writing letters to penpals. I don't think that's because I'm socially inept or physically revolting, I think it's more to do with putting a greater value on words than anything else a human can produce.

I don't believe that what's true for me is true for anyone else, of course, but this has been my experience. If you treat the internet and your presences within it the same as you do your offline life, you find that it's not really all that different. I don't think anyone is trying to make a case for starting a family with someone you will never meet in person (which seems to be what you're countering in your second paragraph), but there is nothing of lesser value about a relationship that begins that way.

 

[Chickpea]

Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

Not all people are meant to live in relationships and I think people would be surprised if they knew the number of one person households in the world. Nothing makes people so sad and bitter as the inability to find someone for love or sex or both.

Well said, Anonymous. I know many, many people who are quite happy alone, and it took a very long time for some of them to reach the point where they could accept that they don't have to follow a set path toward happiness—or even that happiness isn't always the end goal in life. I may be wrong, but have long suspected that a large percentage of relationships are formed out of little more than desperation and avoidance of loneliness than they are out of truly loving the other person.

 

[realitybites]

Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

Well, the problem with the question and this thread is that someone assumed that people either meet people online or in real life when people do both. I have met women online and in real life at work or through friends. Thread starter has this MO against people dating online thinking there are people who ONLY meet others online but those people quite simply do not exist at all.

We live in a really silly world when some consider it better when people meet in so called real life than online but the web is real life too , just that some people still cannot realise that.

A most excellent post!