Mozza/smiths spoof story headlines needed

[HousingOfficer]

Oh the Alcoholic Afternoons.....

http://www.bitethenews.com/2009/09/17/oh-the-alcoholic-afternoons…-2/

MOZZA/SMITHS SPOOF STORY HEADLINES NEEDED

I have a Spoof news website at www.bitethenews.com and try to put as many Smiths/Morrissey references in as possible.

Would like some suggestions on Spoof stories I could work on, Headlines only please.

Many Thanks.

 

[HousingOfficer]

Please some suggestions.......Some headlines I have used before:

1) Stable hand pleads guilty to three counts of grooming
2) Old Proverb proved wrong as Keith Richards reveals extensive collection of Moss

 

[Uncleskinny]