Hello everybody.
There's a lot here for me to get through. My inbox has been inundated with messages over the past few weeks, mostly from attention-seeking troublemakers looking to make a name for themselves. It won't work – the majority of those messages had such offensive and barely literate titles that they were deleted without being opened. To the people who made disparaging comments about Sookie the Secretary: fc-uk you. Reveal yourselves. Come off 'Anonymous' and say it again, I challenge you...
It gets tedious wading through the incomprehensible logorrhoea in an attempt to find something resembling the English language as we usually know it to be written.
To the charlatan who claimed that "Brummie, Mozambiguous, MIDNIGHT and Benny are the same person" (you know who you are); we find your observations *fascinating*. Please, regale us with more of your insightful 'hunches' *grasps chin in awe and wonderment*. Srsly! I'm really interested! *rolls eyes*
If Brummie, Mozambiguous, MIDNIGHT and Benny are one person, I suppose that means Shazza, Sookie, Rebecca McCormick, and BB's Project Team all came from the mind of the same individual as well? Including the Project Team, that's well over one dozen different personalities that you're attributing to a *single man/woman/ indefinable/inbetweenie.
Don't you realize how crazy that sounds? It's madness! Shazza McCormick got banged up for less, it seems you may be ready to join her. A 'psychogenic fugue' if ever I saw one. Keep your opinions to yourself 'going forward' or your new 'habitus' will be in 'eternal ignore' - or as I like to call it - the 'Index Personas Prohibitorum'. This was alluded to in a previous post, but I thought I’d allow the fear and tension to build before revealing the details: it's similar to the Index Librorum Prohibitorum but with even less chance for appeal. Once you're placed on it you're not heard from again, so tread carefully. That goes for everybody on this website who tests my patience.
BrummieBoy may be the Father-Guardian-Angel, but Mozambiguous is Judge-Jury-Executioner. Just say a word to set me off and it'll be the Bloody Assizes all over again. Who'll be "the first of the gang to do time"? A word of advice to you all: keep your heads down and your opinions to yourselves and it won't have to concern you. When you make it onto the 'Index' it's tougher to escape than if you were locked in the Tower of London during its barbaric heyday.
Don't believe me? Sookie, tell 'em! (Please believe him! You have to! He means it! It reminds me of the time on Eastenders when..)
Okay, that's enough. Mary Anne (With the Shaky Hand), tell them! (Pleasenfkgfngnfkgfdkdgndnjkkndfjngnjgdjkfghnhjhdfb)
Je$u$ Chr!$t, lady! Keep your hands steady, will you? I'm making a phone call later today to get you an appointment for Monday morning with an orthopaedic specialist!
As far as I'm aware, BrummieBoy and I are not the same entity (although I do sometimes have blackouts which cause me to be unaware of what has gone on for the preceding 8-10 hours... however that doesn't mean I've been moonlighting as 'BrummieBoy' during my ‘dark hours’. But of course… "je est un autre", etc.) Reading BrummieBoy for the first time was certainly a revelation, similar to how I imagine many 'Young Americans' felt in the 50s-70s upon discovering Ginsberg/Kerouac/Selby. "I saw in him the side of me which sometimes makes me jump with fright."
You could consider me his hype-man [the Ed McMahon to his Johnny Carson, the Flava Flav to his Chuck D and so on], an admirer, understudy or future heir. Take your pick. As for MIDNITE and Benny, I simply appreciate their contributions. MIDNITE has a lot of empathy and passion, while Benny has a quick wit and vigorous intellect. Why should I explain anything to a Broadmoor-bound-big nose anyway? Or to anybody else for that matter....
I’m a towering giant, and so handsome that like Omar Borkan al-Gala I’m banned from entering certain countries because my mere presence is likely to corrupt and scandalize the natives. I’m running out of countries to live in now, next I’ll be looking for shelter on Rockall. For anyone thinking of sparring with Mozambigious: you’re no match for me, not in your wildest dreams, back slowly away….. I’ll just toy with you for a while before banishing you to the everlasting Jahannam of ‘'Index Personas Prohibitorum’, so it’s not worth the hassle and humiliation.
I’ll brief Sookie on the new set-up later today, but right now she’s busy in the other room with Mary-Anne doing the Ice Bucket Challenge.
As for the latest Morrissey *facepalm* moment: LOLOLOLOLOLOL! What more can you say? A new nadir. Is it time to go back into hiding yet, or will he save that for when the tour abruptly gets cancelled? Maybe it won’t even begin! There’s no room on Rockall with me though, he can sink or swim on his own… I won’t be tossing any lifejackets. We note there’s a new fatwa on him from BB, but the Baby Banda fatwa should never have been rescinded. Personally, I haven’t forgiven him since the first time he said “only seals perform”. Not only is it a trite statement, but it implies that a seal’s daily activities are somehow beneath him. So he’s above doing something a seal would do, is he? I thought he was supposed to be some sort of animal rights activist, or he likes to pretend to be one anyway, so what kind of message is that sending? Humans are better than seals? Then he tries to nullify those atrocious comments with the anti-seal clubbing rhetoric from last year. But he made his true feelings crystal clear with “only seals perform”.
If I see him bobbing up and down in the water around Rockall then I’ll get Sookie to hold his head underneath, to teach the fcuker a lesson. For Robin, and the seals. And the rest of us! LOLOLOLOL!
R.I.P to Robin, Richard, Lauren Bacall, James Garner, Dora Bryan, Morrissey’s career……
Judiciously yours,
Judge Jeffries
(one of the 'lovelies'.....watch me fly.....)
