Well since this is the drivel thread, I’m going to go off topic again, this time about the restaurant. I went the other day because my neighbour invited me to go there with her, but I’m abstaining when it comes to going there by myself at least. If I go eat there on my own, I will feel that I can’t trust myself to do the right thing, which is, to eat from the plenitude of food I have in my kitchenette, which is way cheaper and much healthier, and I don’t have to feel like merely a paying customer so much, because I will prepare it for myself.
I went for a walk on this cool but sunny Easter Sunday, and gave scant few sticky notes away. I had a ten minute conversation with a man about his experience dealing with catching Covid. He travels a lot, so has had many different types of immunizations, but he seemed healthy. The conversation started off about Morrissey, and when I steered the chat back to Morrissey, he started to prepare to go his own way. He said he’s been to see Pink Floyd, and I forget what else. I told him about Morrissey licking his hand and then shaking hands with audience members, and licking again, on repeat for the whole front row, at the Orpheum here in Vancouver, in, my guess is it was ’93. The guy said that that was cool. I told him that I feared for Morrissey’s health when I saw him doing that, but that in time I thought it was cool too.
Other than that conversation, my day is looking like it will be spent in solitude. I intend to have a painting session in the early evening, and then maybe do some more cleaning. Yes, I’ve cleaned the tub, washed a sink full of dishes, done a load of laundry, and scrubbed inside the toilet bowl to get what was probably mold dislodged and down the drain. I didn’t get it all with the toilet brush, so I intend to don some rubber gloves and use a scouring pad with Castile soap and get down and dirty to get rid of as much as I can, after painting.
The moisturizer I have on my face and hands is made from mainly sunflower oil, but today it smells a little like fish. I don’t know why. I’m wearing my Morrissey, Bona Drag t-shirt, and thought I might show it off with my flannel shirt unbuttoned and open a bit, but naturally, no one cared. People were either with friends or family, or glum. Maybe I was a little glum, knowing I was not going to take myself to the restaurant after my walk, which is sobering, as I’m used to going there pretty much whenever I feel the impulse. I’m aiming to stop that, because it’s foolishness. In a month, I’ll have easily spent $400 there, at the rate I was going. I’d rather spend it on framing my artwork, ordering prints made of it, and buying watercolour canvases. I only just realized while composing this post, how much I was spending.
I’m starting to get used to this smell of moisturizer that really just smells of sunflower oil, not fish after all. I guess it’s gotten old, though I’ve been keeping it refrigerated. Maybe I’ll mix it with lavender oil next time I apply it to my pasty and dry face after a bath. I’m not used to this self discipline of refraining from going to that restaurant by myself. I feel forlorn a little, not having any family or very close friends to spend this holiday with, and I’m not used to having a week off from seeing mental health workers, but on the other hand, I’m enjoying feeling self reliant and learning to trust myself, to do what I truly want to, rather than shirking doing it, in favour of being spinelessly drawn to the restaurant, and avoiding cleaning my apartment. Avoiding painting too, even.
@nicky wire's legs This is the drivel thread, not the see how brave I am thread. The drivel thread. If it turns out I do something brave out of it, great. If my immune system kicks the mold infection out or better yet kills it, great. I don’t expect it to happen, and I tend to see myself as a low functioning person, or, a high functioning mental case, nothing to brag about, but to drivel about, sure, because it helps me to use this thread as kind of an interactive diary. I don’t tell all, of course, like I do in my paper diary, but then, there are things I’ll write here that I won’t in my paper diary. I can have both.
